She Weds

Moving Day

2009-06-16T12:51:00.003-07:00

Alright- I'm doing it.
I love this blog and who knows, maybe I'll come back and post sometimes...but I think this blog is done.

To my blog- thank you. You made wedding planning fun and easy. The thousaands (literally) of unpublished posts saved me from insanity.

To my readers- wow. What a journey we've taken. Thank you for reading, commenting and supporting. I hope to see you here.

xxoo, jennifer

Blog question

2009-06-16T09:39:00.002-07:00

This blog of mine is taking a different direction...I'm ready to leave the wedding behind (sigh) and move on to some new ideas. Question: Do I stay here and morph it...or do I leave this one be and move over to a new site- for my new-ish blog?

Discuss.

Traveling fools,part 2

2009-06-15T11:02:00.003-07:00

In 8 weeks I've traveled to Austin, Dallas, Tuba City, Arizona, North Rim of the Grand Canyon, Pittsburgh, PA and Denver, Colorado. In the next 8 weeks, I'll add Portland and Florida to the list.

I've flown on 4 different airlines in the last 8 weeks: American (my all time favorite), Southwest, Frontier and US Airways. They all have their pluses and minuses, but I am partial to AA due to all my miles. Southwest has free bag check (up to TWO bags per person), but they always seem to get me down with the open seating policy.

I'm no expert- but somehow whenever I fly SW, I get a nut job sitting next to me. Whenever I fly assigned seating, I get a perfectly normal person.

Case in point:

On my recent travels to Pittsburgh- I had to fly Tuscon to Vegas. I get on the plane, I'm in the A group, so I get on first, pick out a nice window seat and a woman takes the aisle seat. No one in the middle seat (score!). The whole time she is getting settled and what not, she is looking at my feet. Finally she asks "did you bring a lizard on with you?" I said no, pick up my bag, look around no lizard. She says nothing else. weird. THEN, I am emailing or something on my iPhone (before doors were closed) and she says "Oh, you have and iPhone, I have one too". I respond: "cool"- it was 6am, so that was gabby as I wanted to be. She proceeds to pull out a iPhone box - the black on you get when you buy your phone. From it she remove the first ever iPod. NOT iPhone, iPOD. So its huge and no buttons, just a half screen and the wheel on the bottom. Kinda like this- but way older.

She proceeds to "call" someone on it and inform them that we were taking off soon, so she wouldn't be available by phone for an hour or so.

um yea.

Traveling fools

2009-05-26T09:09:00.005-07:00

This post is delving into personal thoughts and feelings. Please be kind and remember you are reading MY blog and I am not forcing any of my thoughts or concerns onto you. This post is also very free-form...I am working these issues out.

D$ and I had a great Memorial day weekend. We had dinner Friday with his sister, after dinner drinks with our favorite friends in Phoenix. Saturday we drove North east, to a little "Nation-town" on the Navajo Nation. Our friends are up there doing a medical rotation and it is a great launching points for some of the prettiest spots in AZ, maybe the country.

We went to Lee's Ferry and hiked around the Colorado River, spotted some California Condors, were rained on and shone upon.

Sunday we spent at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. If you've been to the GC, you most likely went to the South Rim, the North- if you can do it- is less crowded, quieter and just as spectacular. We did a few rim hikes but mostly stood and awed at the sites.

Here's where we get to the nitty gritty. Our friends we visited in Phoenix are Child-free. Our friends in Northern AZ have a 6 month old. I thought I would walk away from this trip feeling a longing for the baby. Don't get me wrong, I held him and squeezed him and cooed at him as much as possible for the time we were together. When he fell asleep holding my finger, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. But then, when he woke up and screamed and carried on...I wanted to shoot myself in the head. And here's the real kicker: He is a great baby. He only cried for food and to be changed. He at six months, is babbling and finding his voice and all I wanted was quiet.

I found myself jealous of our PHX friends who like to travel as much as us and the freedom they are enjoying. I found myself resentful of the baby for hindering our trip. We couldn't do a 10 mile hike, because of the baby. We couldn't go down 4 miles into the canyon because the trail was too steep to carry the baby pack with us.

Last night D$ and I were relaxing on our porch planning our next adventures. Next summer came up and we have a few vacations in the work already. Then I made the comment: These plans are all void if we have a baby. That stopped us both short.

I know there is never a right time to have a baby, right?...there is always something we can argue about: traveling, our careers, housing, blah blah. But there can be a WRONG time.

We aren't making any decisions one way or another. But dear god, there is something so appealing to me about being child-free. Something I never really considered before. And this is where I am scared...once you start doubting your desire to pro-create, can you come back from that?

The one thing I am sure of now is that I owe it to myself and to my marriage to explore these feelings and doubts with serious consideration.

post script. These thoughts are fresh...like 12 hours fresh. They are not fully formed and I am just learning how to handle them. I thought a first good step is to write them out. If you are interested in someone who is decidedly child-free and lays out a wonderful map as to how she and her husband got there read this.

Holy Crap-ola

2009-05-21T10:42:00.004-07:00

I know that I'm all married up and stuff that our wedding date and subsequent anniversaries are now the measuring stick by which we are judged, but today- today is our sixth anniversary as a couple.

Six years! In honor of this date, I offer six reasons I love D$:

1. There is not a day he doesn't make me laugh. He even makes me laugh at myself, which is huge. Most weeks have at least one or two moments when I almost pee my pants. And when he really gets laughing, really laughing- he makes this adorable "hee hee hee" laugh. Makes me laugh even more.

2. He is a bad-ass cook. He grills up some meat like nobodies business and yet still makes the most delicate of sauces. He has a pallet that seeks out great flavors ad he pairs wines really well and re-create most any food or drink after one tasting. For a foodie like me, this may be reason enough to love him.

3. He is a good friend. To me, my friends and his friends. He cares about people, remembers birthdays and significant events. He works hard (much harder than me) at keeping up relationships and making sure he keeps in touch with friends. When he sees me slumping into myself, he encourages me to call friends or plan a girl date. He makes me a better friend.

4. D$ works hard. At whatever he sets his mind to. Right now, it is finishing his degree. He'll be done in December...its been a sacrifice in our relationship, but he puts his head down and works hard at it. Same with training for a race, work or a hobby. He has an insatiable thirst for knowledge and he is always learning something.

5. He is easy going. Me? I'm a bit high strung, tightly wound, anxious and fast...D$ is easy going. Calm, not quick to rile. He tolerates my rants and helps me see that maybe I was too quick in my judgment...aka wrong. He can get mad, and when he does- run, but it is for a reason.

6. He is adventurous. He always has a trick, a plan...a scheme for something fun and new. He loves to travel, maybe more than I do- which is saying something and he always is planing our next road trip, getaway, vacation. It maybe just a 2 hour drive for some really bad Arizona wine or a 2 week European adventure- he figures it out.

Thanks friend for the best 6 years ever. I love you.

Desert Living

2009-04-29T14:38:00.002-07:00

I heart living in the desert.

I love the cactus, the succulents, the colors that most people don't even know exist in the desert. The last month has been filled with yellows, greens, purples. I love the Sonoran desert I live in, where I can drive an hour to snow, a few hours to the beach, but I can drive 2 minutes and be in a canyon to hike.

But what I truly love about living in the desert....the sounds. Where we live, we hear a variety of sounds: owls, quail, bats squeaking, coyotes, javelina barking, rattle snakes- all from the comfort of our second floor porch.

Last night was a menagerie of sounds. D$ came in to wake me up at 10pm as we could hear a bobcat or Mountain Lion on our roof. Then at 5am I hear a pack of coyotes, um, shall I say dining?! Perhaps on the bobcat from our roof! I have learned to distinguish hunting coyotes, eating coyotes, playful new born coyotes (they learn to get their howl like a car that won't turn over...bark bark how- cough, bark, bark , bark hoooow- cough).

I never fail to wake with a smile on my face when I hear the coyotes. What a nice reminder of the special place I live!

A tad bit of regret

2009-04-28T08:55:00.003-07:00

We went to a wedding this last weekend, our first as a married couple. Sitting through the ceremony and reception- D$ and I had a blast and chuckled about our wedding and remembered how much we loved x,y,z at our wedding, but how cool a,b,c was at this wedding.

I have no regrets about our planning or the results of our wedding. Let me be honest, it was bad-ass. I loved it, every minute and would do it all again, no changes.

However, my TucsonBFF got engaged this weekend and I am sooo pleased for her, but filled with regret. D$ didn't ask me to marry him, he didn't get down on one knee. He didn't have a ring. We didn't have a huge announcement, in fact when we called to tell his folks, their phone was out of order, so we told my folks- then had to wait another day to tell his. This after being engaged for a week without sharing with anyone (that part I don't regret!). So I read all 44 and counting comments on facebook and I am bursting inside for her! But also a bit regretful that we don't have an engagement story.

A few inspiration boards

2009-04-27T18:43:00.006-07:00

whew...Since I found out 10 hours ago that my TucsonBFF got engaged, I've found and made a few inspiration boards for her.

I know her favorite color is light blue and her style is simple and cute. So here are a few inspirations I have for her. (note, just ideas, none need to be taken seriously).

From Tastefully Entertaining I found this board that was published almost a year ago.

From the great Snippet & Ink I found this lovely board that mixes blue with a flashy yellow. Yum!

And finally, one I threw together myself.

Man, I am pleased to have some wedding planning to think about again- well here's hoping she'll want my help!

Whirlwind weekend!

2009-04-27T10:21:00.002-07:00

Hey y'all I'm back from Texas!

A few highlights:
1. I had a dog tour of Texas. As I am not currently a dog owner, it was great that everyone we stayed with had wonderful lovable dogs.
2. I put a 5 month old baby to sleep during the wedding mass on Saturday. Not being catholic, I was eager to hold baby Evelyn (D$'s cousin's kid) during the ceremony, so I could walk around and coo her to sleep.
3. BBQ. We went to Smitty's, which is in the top5 best Texas BBQ according to Texas monthly. Holy cow, literally- it was out of this world good.
4. Tubing we floating down the Comal river with good friends and good beer.
5. One of my BFFs got engaged this weekend! She called to tell me this morning and I couldn't be more happy for her!
6. Reconnecting with family, good friends and more family. D$ and I had a great fun time.
7. Running around Austin town lake...man Austin, if you'll have me, I'm yours!

I'll fill you in more about the wedding we attended, dogs I played with and upcoming weddings soon!

New wedding vows

2009-04-21T10:28:00.002-07:00

Every time D$ and I hear a story or go through an experience that points out a flaw or loophole in our relationship, or anther's, we add a vow to our marriage.

D$ had a stupid stupid friend that received a sext (is that what the kids call the dirty pics via text thing?) from a woman not his wife. So we added a vow: no nudie pics from anyone other than each other. Done.

My dad's BFF died yesterday. He was sick and ignored his symptoms to the point of no return. So we made a new vow: fight for each other, even if you can't fight for yourself.

Rick was a great guy. He was funny, loved life and lived hard. I guess that's why he didn't want to fight, he didn't want to be weak. I am going to miss him, but I don't understand if he couldn't fight for himself, how could he not want to fight for his wife? My parents don't understand any better. So last night D$ and I made a new vow- fight for each other, even if you can't fight for yourself.

Between Rick and GoLightly's fight in the hospital I've been really burdened by grief. I have been surprised everyday by D$'s love and support for me. Last night, knowing how sad I was, he made me grilled cheese and tomato soup, complete with a bottle of wine. It is that love, his caring, his support that makes me hope and believe that if I were sick, like on my death bed sick, I would be fighting tooth and nail for him- so that I could stay with him.

These situations have also opened the door on sensitive topics. We talked about our wishes and about our living wills.

Have you added any vows, or any conditions to your relationship?

Updates and donations

2009-04-20T09:10:00.002-07:00

If you are reading Pecos Girls blog, you will have seen this update yesterday about GoLightly. Some really great news regarding her functions and then of course a few set backs.

A trust is being set up to raise money for Golightly, she lost her job in January- and with that she lost her health insurance. I have emailed Pecos girl for the info, so I'll be happy to share it with you. I know any bit we can pull together would be helpful.

I hope all of you are well and please keep praying/thinking/vibing/meditating your good juju to GoLightly!

What I've been up to...

2009-04-17T08:50:00.002-07:00

Linda inquired about what I've been doing to keep me away from the blogosphere. To answer her question, I've composed a list:

1. My parents came to visit for 5 days.
2. I am running again and now training for a half marathon in June.
3. I received a promotion at work and have been actually working, not blogging from my job!
4. I got and iPhone for Valentine’s Day that accesses my email and facebook, so I really haven’t turned on the laptop at home for 2 months.
5. I have a few ideas about my new improved blog in my head, weekly features, etc. When I have been writing, I have been stocking those up, so when I launch the new blog I will have a few weeks of blogs to pull from.
6. March Madness- I ran the office pool at work.
7. Dieting. D$ and I are fatter than ever. Seriously. Two weeks ago we both hit the highest weight we’d ever been. Since then I have lost 2.5 lbs and he has lost 2. So we cook a lot, walk, work out and talk about dropping weight.
8. Reading. I received a gift subscription to the New Yorker for Christmas. It is a great magazine, full of great contributors and articles. It is a heavy read. AND it comes once a week. Seriously, it takes a lot of time!
9. Gardening. A friend gave me her plant stand, perfect for my containers so I have remembered my love for gardening.

None are great excuses, but reasons none the less. We are traveling next week, but I'll plan to post a few times before we leave.

Happy weekend everyone!

Good Blog Vibes

2009-04-14T11:08:00.003-07:00

Hi y’all, I know I have fallen off the blog radar, but I am moving this blog in a different direction and haven’t put all the pieces together yet. (And no, I’m not pregnant).

The main reason for this post, is for support. One of my bestest blog-friends Golightly was in a series car accident a few weeks back. If you read either of her blogs: Tidbits of Drama or
B-squared Bride you’ve noticed some in activity.

All I know is from updates on this blog. Thanks to Pecos Girl for her updates of Golightly! I am so saddened by this, Golightly and I had made tentative plans to go to brunch in 2 weeks, when I will be in Dallas. She was just recently engaged and right in the middle of planning a wedding, her fiance Cowboy was recently returned from Iraq and I know they were really enjoying being together again. Life was perfect, she was at the top of the hill.

I know a few of us have blogged about our blogger friends...and how weird it is to be touched by someone reading or writing far away. But there is no doubt now in my mind that I have a few great friends online (Blablover and Linda this means you!) and my care and concern for them is as great as a friend I have actually met.

I don't know if you pray or meditate or what. But however, whatever you do, please think of Golightly.

Sweet Husband

2009-03-17T09:50:00.002-07:00

On Saturday, D$ and I were traveling north to Phoenix and had a great conversation. We were planning some meals and ideas for my parents visit on Wednesday.

He paused and said to me: I'm really happy your parents are coming, I didn't realize how much I missed them.

Wow.

This means the world to me. My parents mean the world to me. I am really close with both of them, and we are friends. Second to D$, they are the people I want to share with first.

I am more excited for their visit because of this! Sweet husband indeed!

Winds of change

2009-03-16T15:00:00.002-07:00

Can you feel it? Things are changing around here...so get ready!

Edit 3/17: Nope I am not pregnant, not even trying.

Poem-a-week6

2009-03-16T11:44:00.002-07:00

Yikes, we traveled yesterday this weekend and the poem slipped my mind as we didn't get home till late.

This we, I don't have a poem of my own, but rather will share with you MY favorite poem ever.

I have a really strange sense of memory, I never forget a face (or rarely a name) but I can't memorize lines, quotes or verses. For one exception, this poem. I heard it before I read it. The world's worst Poetry professor ever read it, nay performed it for us on the first day of class. Let me remind you, that I was a creative writing major at an Agricultural/Architectural hub. So, there were like 10 of us in class. It was the first day and the professor (who is still "teaching" uggh) got up and recited this to us with such passion and force, I will never forget that moment. Unfortunately, that was the best day of class.

Anywhoo without further ado:

The Lady's First Song by William Butler Yeats

I turn round
Like a dumb beast in a show.
Neither know what I am
Nor where I go,
My language beaten
Into one name;
I am in love
And that is my shame.
What hurts the soul
My soul adores,
No better than a beast
Upon all fours.

Ah, soothes my soul. Whats your favorite poem?

Little things

2009-03-12T08:46:00.002-07:00

I was on my way home from work yesterday. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, flowers blooming and I had full intentions to go to the gym.

Then I turned into the shopping center, the one with the over priced pedicures. And I paid too much for a woman to massage my feet and gams for an hour. And paint them fire engine red. And be delicate with my still broken tootsie.

That was way better than working out.

Poem-a-week 5

2009-03-08T19:04:00.002-07:00

This little venture of mine is proving harder than I imagined....I'm out of practice of a) writing poetry and b) blogging...but I keep at it.

"Sunday I"

A rumble from the next room-
rhythmic clink and clanks lull my senses
offer me the cadence of a familiar song or praise.

The clink and clanks change,
pricking my ears.
The rhythm quickens,
then disappears
only to fall back into line for a few more moments
soothing me again.

Abruptly, the buzzer sounds.
I go
open the door and remove the contents.
Buttons hot.
A sock still damp as it was turned into itself
perhaps, the heat was too intense for the sock?

A mash of arms, legs, waists and torsos
shaken out onto the bed.
They wait to be lined up,
put away
worn again.

Next Sunday,
next laundry day-
the rumble will begin again.

ton of bricks

2009-03-05T14:08:00.003-07:00

I was sitting eating my lunch (curried chicken salad on mulitgrain) and a man walked into the restaurant. We smiled at each other and then I remembered (and he did too) that we had dated. For like a month. And I had no idea of his name.

I moved to Tucson in August 2001. I started dating D$ in May 2003. That means I had 16 months of other relationships and dates and flings in Tucson. And I can NOT for the life of me remember any one of them (okay ONE, but he was a dick and there was law enforcement involved, yadda yadda).

So my mystery date and I said hello and he called me Jenny (which is a sure sign it wasn't a great month, as no one calls me Jenny) and we caught up for a second. Well, as much as you can catch up with a man you dated AT least 6 years ago for a month and whose name you still can't recall.

But more importantly, this encounter made me recognize how complete things are with D$. There is no regrets about the one who got away, Tucson or life before the move here. No second guessing after the wedding, or before. D$ and I are good...and not that I've doubted that- but by running into a man I dated at least 6 years ago and not remembering a detail about our courtship kind of seals the deal.

March 4th

2009-03-04T14:43:00.000-07:00

Advice for today: 'March Forth!'

Today isn't just another day.
It's not just another work day or school day or sick day or
"American Idol" day.
Check out the calendar, and consider it an order:
It's March 4th.

So...March Forth! The date is also a command.
A verb.
The only day of the year that literally compels you to action: March forth!
Consider it your personal holiday - use the date to encourage everyone you meet to:

Dream big.
Fly high.
Be spontaneous.
Start now.
Do or learn something new.
Forget past disappointments.
Start a new chapter in your life - TODAY
March Forth!

Bring cookies to work, buy flowers for friends, send cards and e-mails to friends around the world -- people's faces and hearts will light up.
Throw an impromptu dinner party – use the “good stuff” - china, fine linens and silver.
Ditch the NordicTrack and take an old-fashioned hike -- breathe deeply, enjoy the scenery.
Don’t sleep indoors – camp out on the lawn.
Skip the shower – take a bubble bath.
Turn off the TV – read a book.
MARCH FORTH.

It's a wonderful thing, starting over Marching Forth.
Seize the day.
Today, at least, forget the past.
Have fun. Do something new. Amaze yourself, and
MARCH FORTH.

What are you doing today? As we haven't turned on the tv all week- I think we'll keep that going tonight- and since my foot is on the mend, I plan on making my hubby literally March Forth with me, a walk in our neighborhood canyon!

Gardening

2009-03-03T10:53:00.005-07:00

I used to have an awesome container garden. Cherry Tomatoes, lettuce, herbs, flowers and lots of lots of native plants to attract humming birds. It was A LOT of work. It is hard in the SW to keep a garden without a drip irrigation system, and apartment living usually doesn't come with a hose to do just that. So I would water in the morning, run home for lunch, and water again in the evening. Then if we went out of town, well...I just gave up.

A few weeks ago I was at a friends after a run (sigh) and she had this amazing plant stand, just what ever container gardener needs. I inquired, she said her husband made it and I could have it! (She had requested a different design, so by giving it to me, she was giving him a chance to re-do it).

So on Saturday I went and picked it up, then headed straight for the nursery to buy some new plants. Here are some results!

The whole stand!

My top two pots. On the left is a native "ice plant" it will begin to creep down the pot! The right, a non-native pretty flower!

I've had this blue-iron Lizard for years, he found a new home creeping up the stand. The stand is untreated, so it will continue to have this lovely rust color!

I need to move on plant into fuller sun, so I will be going to get two more plants this weekend! Yay plants!

Poem-a-week 4

2009-03-02T16:14:00.004-07:00

Crap, I forgot to post this yesterday, although I did have it composed.

It's an ode..an ode to my toe:

I can not walk or run
I can't hike or bike
All activities I think fun
all the sports I really like.

My toe slows me down
I have to put all pressure on my heel
Making it hard to get around
walking, standing, crouching or kneel.

All my fun in the sun
is now limited to sitting
I miss my morning runs
and how my clothes were loose fitting.

I wish you well
dear toe of mine
its a matter of time
and I'll be fine.

(see I didn't promise good, just a poem!)

Madoff rhymes with Layoff

2009-02-27T09:05:00.004-07:00

Yesterday someone handed me this quote: The brook would lose it's song if we removed its rocks.

Layoffs have hit my work. I am surprised and not. I work in Non-Profit work, and although we DO such great things in this world, it is all at the mercy of the donors. And if donors aren't donating- well we either have to cut programs or staff. I have to hand it to the Executive Council, and the Executive Director, they cut *few* programs, many that can go on hold for a few years, but do not directly hurt the people throughout the world that we serve. (example we cut a continuing adult education program that focused on spiritual journey and not the continuing adult education program that focuses on assimilating those folks who have ended up in our area because of religious asylum. )

And if you didn't get the reference above, I do work for Jewish organization.

Two staff were cut, and that blows. And one- was my boss- the dude I hated seeing everyday. However, my heart breaks for him and his family and I have survivors guilt.

It'll be an interesting few days/weeks/months here till we all get on our feet. How is everyone else coping? Any other layoffs out there?

Staus Report

2009-02-25T09:25:00.002-07:00

You may be wondering how I am coming on my New Year resolutions...or not. Here is athe update:

Thursday, I broke a toe and fractured a bone in my foot by dropping a laptop on it. So that running everyday? Done. For SIX weeks. I made it 50 days 95 miles. I am proud of myself, but honestly, I am thankful for the rest too.

The no smoking? Good. I've broken twice now. All D$'s fault. The first break was 2/10 and I smoked 8 cigarettes in a sitting. If you don't smoke- let me tell you, that is a harsh amount of tobacco at one time. I woke up the next day feeling sick, hacking and wheezing- but satisfied. I will not lie, I loved all 8 cigarettes. The second time? last night, I had 2, they tasted gross and I feel even worse than I did after 8. So Even though I have had two relapses, I feel great about my progress.

The sock. No go. I have to go buy some needles this week and I will start this weekend. I swear. I just read this entry about sewing on Linda's blog. I totally wish I could sew, she has sparked a new goal for me...but I feel like I need to finish whats on my plate before I start dessert.

One last Tidbit (pun intended)...my blogging pal GoLightly recently got engaged (woot!) and she has started a new wedding blog B-squared Bride, I am loving already (4 posts in), so go check it out, she is sassy, funny and down to earth. Really, who doesn't love a bride that stops for In -n- Out while venue hunting?

Poem-a-week 3

2009-02-22T22:07:00.003-07:00

On Sunday a song from our wedding came on the radio, here is my poetic interpertation to the moment:

We sit in the car
extra 2 minutes after our arrival
hold hands
listen
I cry.

With two words
"heavenly day"
we go back to our day

We sit in the car for 2 more minutes.

Triple A throw down

2009-02-17T09:05:00.009-07:00

D$ had President's Day off, but I had to work. He decided he would leave Sunday mid-day and head up to see his parents who live 2 hours north of us. Perfect- he gets the time he needs with his folks, I get some quiet time...deal.

As we were getting ready to retire for the evening, D$ said "oh I got a new AAA card". Turns out not only does his mom carry him on her Costco membership- but also on her AAA membership.

This really irks me for a few reasons. Lets break it down.
1. He is a financially independent 33 year old. He can cover these memberships if he so chooses to.
2. By her covering him on Costco and AAA, it prohibits me from receiving a discount by having a joint membership with my husband.
3. (this one is tricky, hear me out) By covering her children on AAA she is saying "your safety matters"...however by NOT covering me, OR even telling D$ to get his own membership with me- she is implying that I am not as valuable. I really want to know if I am ALWAYS going to be *just* a Daughter-in-law? Will this change when perhaps I become the mother to her grandchildren, or will she just cover their memberships?
4. (I know I'm stretching...) D$ is an adult, he has been an adult for over a decade now, paying rent, car payments, making decisions, getting married. As have I. My parents care for me just as much as D$'s parents care for him. However my parents stopped paying incidentals a LONG time ago. There is something annoying and perhaps controlling about his mother providing him with these memberships.

Or am I wrong. Do your parents still pay for stuff? I know he doesn't ask her for these (I would die if he did), but he isn't that cheap!

I guess what I want is for him to stand up and say I don't want your AAA membership unless my wife is covered on it.

Poem-a-week 2

2009-02-15T19:47:00.002-07:00

No Ogden Nash am I, but I *really* thought I was getting a dog for Valentine's Day (I got an iPhone instead!) and so I prepared this poem about a dog.

"Joy"

A dog provides joy
all for the price of a new chew toy.

A dog will love for next to nothing
as long as you feed him something.

A dog will put a song in your heart,
and clear the room when he farts.

A dog will bring comfort when you are sad
and drive you crazy, mean and mad.

A dog will take you for a walk
and provide you with an ear to talk.

Soon I'll have a dog to love in my home
but until then I'll enjoy my iPhone.

Poem a week

2009-02-08T18:37:00.005-07:00

Inspired by Blablover and her Picture-a-day series, I decided to start a poem-a-week.

My major in college was Creative Writing with a focus on Poetry and short-stories. Except for blogging, I have stopped writing. After an email exchange with Jenn about her having to write a poem, I exclaimed (via email) "writing poetry is easy!". She challenged me to write a poem about Ramen, so I did. And this will be my first poem.

So here's the deal: every Sunday I'll post a poem. I do not promise good poetry, just one new poem writen by me a week. Like Jenn's challenge about Ramen, I will take requests. So with out further ado:

Patiently I wait for the two cups to bubble

CRACK! -break the nest of noodles,

awaiting their turn

CRACK! -break the egg,

prepared to be poached.

Time has come for the parts to become one

...into the water the drop

one by one

noodles

seasoning

egg

Two minutes time, my lunch is prepared.

Trojan Horse

2009-02-05T18:27:00.002-07:00

As I explained in the previous post, I am no longer taking birth control pills. However, we aren't ready to be pregnant yet, so precautions must be taken. I bought condoms.

During the period of my life when I have been a sexually active person, I never purchased condoms. Ever. I would get them free from the health center or planned parenthood, or my partner would have them. Never ever did I have to buy them.

Thinking now that I am a wife, I should be able to buy condoms without embarrassment or incidents. Think again.

I knocked a bunch of boxes off the shelf.

I dropped the box off the grocery conveyerbelt and the man behind me picked the box up and handed them to me. Then I had to stand in front of him for an extra 10 minutes while the oldest woman in the world wrote a check.

The only thing that would have been worse is there would have been a price check.

holla!

2009-02-04T15:49:00.002-07:00

Hey homies....just a quick post about a baby.

I held a baby last night. He was gorgeous, 2 months old, fat and happy. My woman-parts did somersaults and my heart melted.

And then the inevitable conversation started. When? When will we have them?

Someday not too long ago the "if we have kids" turned into "when we have kids". Around that same time I turned into that girl. You know the one who talks about getting off the pill (check), taking vitamins fortified with folic acid (check) and has the plan (check).

But how did we get form "if" till "when"?! Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I decided that I am ready or want to. Yet today, I had an email conversation about the book I read about breast feeding. Come on self! Who reads a book about breast-feeding IF you are unsure how you got to WHEN.

Me, that's who. I think I am just riding along. But how do you tell your husband, that you want to learn to swim first, and you want to have a bikini-fab body first and that you want to go to Disneyland and ride rollar coasters first and you want to run another half-marathon first, visit your 97 year old grandpa first, go to Europe first, go to graduate school, go back to Napa, write a book, learn Spanish, take cooking lessons.....first- before a baby.

But then I just think of that sweet little baby squeezing my finger tight last night. And I see D$ sitting holding the baby and my woman-parts do cartwheels this time and graduate school doesn't seem that important anymore.

Home on a Tuesday

2009-01-27T12:42:00.003-07:00

I've been tagged by Linda from Silly Little Mischief!

Make a list of things you can see without getting up:my lunch bowl, the tv, Christmas cards I have yet to take down.

What were you like when you were five? Obnoxious

What are you wearing now? purple socks, my monkey pants, a blue hoodie. I took the afternoon off.

What story/book/novel have you read over and over again in your life? Lonesome Dove, Love Story, Harry Potter series

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading?

Do you nap a lot? You betcha!

Who was the last person you hugged? D$

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Slumdog Millionaire. If you haven't seen it...run.

What was the last thing you ate today? left over Chinese noodles.

What was the last thing you said aloud? Hello? I answered the phone to find a telemarketer.

What websites do you always visit when you go online? Facebook, Google Reader, email

What was the last thing you bought? Lunch for me and Brenda yesterday.

What are you listening to right now? All My Children

What movie are (or were!) you most excited to show your kids? I've never thought about this, but I guess all the Disney movies I love so much, and of course Annie.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? I'd like the power to follow my passions.

What is your favorite weather, and why? Tucson winter.

What time do you usually get up? oh sheesh...not till 7:45 most mornings.

What is your most challenging goal right now? energy. hence the afternoon off.

Say something to the person who tagged you: Linda, I love your "Currently" series and the recipes you find!

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? the University area here in Tucson.

Favorite vacation spot? the beach.

What is your favorite children’s book? Morris the Moose has a cold. I have a copy if you'd like to borrow it!

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: a few weeks ago I would have said a cigarette, but now I'll say: Mexican food!

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? The Obamas...but like I'd want to chill with them not just meet them for the sake of meeting them.

TAGGED: Blablover, Golightly, Jenn, K.D. (At least I tagged some people!)

THE RULES:Step 1: respond and rework—answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

Step 2: tag—eight other un-tagged people will be tagged.

Sometimes....

2009-01-17T14:47:00.004-07:00

Sometimes all you gotta do is get to the other side to find your common ground.

My MIL do not have the worst relationship, we just don't have the best. We love and care for each other, I just think she is flighty and sometimes careless and I am sure she thinks I am harsh and critical.

Today I received an email from her. D$'s cousin is getting married and let me just say the wedding planning is a fiasco. They sent out save the dates for the April wedding in Dallas that we are excited to attend. We have friends (waving at Golightly!) and other family in Dallas too, so we were pumped to go. Um, they don't have a reception site. The church double booked them. They have no dress. No invites. No nothing. Looks like they have to change the date.

So my MIL emailed to fill me in. I emailed back how excited I am that we are all done and aren't we glad it is over!?! She emailed back a lovely response of yes and no...that she would love to go back and relive the day all over, it was so much fun.

Ahem. Did you read that?! My MIL who hasn't made one comment about my wedding since my wedding said she had fun! And that she liked it!

So today, I see the glass half full. Sometimes you just have to get to the other side.

Check in...

2009-01-13T10:35:00.003-07:00

Today is the day that 90% of new year resolutions fail. You give it the two week college try, then fail...fall of the wagon, slip up, forget...whatever.

So I thought to keep me (and maybe you?) on track, I'd check in and tell you how far I have come (literally) and how I've been doing. As a reminder, here is my original post.

Resolution 1, to run at least a mile everyday to qualify for the US Running Streak Association.

Check! I have run at least a mile everyday, sometimes by the skin of my teeth. But so far I have logged over 29 miles in 12 days ( I haven't run yet today, but have running group at 6pm). Sunday was hard, I had to run after a victory beer after the Steelers win. I was a little more burpy than normal and sluggish, but I did it! I didn't think I would make it past day 3 and 4, as my hip flexors were really painful and every part of me was sore. But I pushed through (do not follow this advice if you are new to running) and have made it! whew.

Resolution 2,to be less of a Debbie Downer

semi-check....this is a work in progress and not to measured as the running resolution. I have my good days and my bad days. I heard two great pieces of wisdom on Sunday: 1. Always leave the door open. This an prove to be hard if you are negative and leave a sour impression. 2. Make your mistake, learn from it and drop it. I am a dweller. I dwell on the small stuff. This turns my thoughts negative. Dwell no more, shall I. Bottom line: I am working on this everyday.

Resolution 3, to finish my knitting project.

No check. I haven't even touched the socks. But I have a trip planned to the knitting shop for a few supplies before I start.

And as for my quitting smoking?! HUGE CHECK. I haven't smoked in 13 days and counting. So far so good. I haven't really missed it or wanted to smoke. I know this will be life long struggle, but I feel pretty confident in how I have done so far.

So, if you have been doing well on your resolutions, make sure to follow through today!

One word Meme

2009-01-09T08:54:00.003-07:00

I stole this from Linda- it seemed so fun!

Yourself: Fierce
Your partner: Kind
Your hair: Dyed
Your Mother: Slipping
Your Father: Whirlwind
Your Favorite Item: books
Your dream last night: Dark
Your Favorite Drink: Beer
Your Dream Car: efficient
Your Dream Home: owned
The Room You Are In: office
Your Ex: farmer
Your fear: instability
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? happy
Who you hung out with last night: D$
What You're Not: quiet
Muffins: no
One of Your Wish List Items: togetherness
Time: morning
The Last Thing You Did: run
What You Are Wearing: jeans
Your favorite weather: beautiful
Your Favorite Book: Saturday
Last thing you ate: oatmeal
Your Life: evolving
Your mood: anxious
Your Best Friends: kind
What are you thinking about right now: career
Your car: silver
What are you doing at the moment: procrastinating
Your summer: fast
Relationship status: Married
What is on your tv: news
What is the weather like: sunny
When is the last time you laughed: yesterday

I am sooo happy to be done.

2009-01-07T18:20:00.003-07:00

Being a bride is competitive business. Either you are practical or designer, DIY or purchased, budget or expensive.

I did not fit in to any of these bride categories.

Yes I spent money on my wedding. Yes I spent a lot on food, photographer and location. But this made me happy. My food was amazing, my pictures make me smile and I wouldn't have had my wedding any where else. Does this make my wedding Expensive?

I made my own centerpieces, skipped wedding cake for cheaper and yummier cookies, didn't have favors and bought our own booze. Does this make my wedding Budget?

We hired a hot dog cart, a Mariachi band in addition to the DJ AND a bagpiper. I had our invitations custom designed. Does this make me un-practical?

My friend was my wedding coordinator, my uncle performed the ceremony and the bridesmaids picked out their own dresses. Does this make us DIY and eclectic?

We refused to do a cake-cutting, bouquet toss, garter toss or money dance. Does this make us anti-establishment?

We had a father-daughter dance, we read from Corinthians and didn't write our own vows. Does this make us cookie-cutter?

No.
No.
No.

This makes it MY wedding. (Okay OUR wedding.)

Seriously brides...take an effing breathe and stop trying to pigeon hole each other. If you believe that by only inviting 900 people you are being practical-then you ARE being practical. Do what you want, have the wedding you want and live the life you want.

Wedding photo

2009-01-03T09:08:00.004-07:00

A friend of a friend was married a week before me in Washington. Like our buddies over at Our United State they had a ceremony for themselves..with no legal ramifications. Which makes it seem more romantic, right?! If you are going to go through the pain and discomfort of planning a wedding just for THE Commitment to your love....well then, that's love (cause I did it just for the marriage license!!).

Anywhoo...I saw this simple photo and it knocked me over.

I thought it was sweet and underestimated and beautiful.

stomps feet and pouts.

2009-01-02T20:46:00.003-07:00

I am going to a bridal shower tomorrow. In fact I am helping to host it. But, I will not be the center of attention. hmpfhh.
Normally (i.e. before my own engagement) I would have just been honored to help and to be invited...now I am feeling a little, well jealous and not ready for MY time to be over. Which is silly. But still, I am a little miffed about having to go to someone else's shower. This is another first, another turning point...other people got married before me and well, people will get married after me.

It just feels a bit odd that I am all done. You wait your whole adult life for these rituals and then, in a flash they are over and it is no longer your turn.

My '08 top 10 in photos

2009-01-01T16:57:00.006-07:00

Here are ten of my favorite moments represented in photos that I had in '08.

1. My first half marathon I ran in March!

2. Also in March, my first time on a horse!

3. In May, some time on the beach in Florida.

4. In June, riding around Mexico City on a bike!

5. In July- some time spent outdoors (in the Mountains) with good friends!

6. In September, my last bridal shower! (However, let this picture be a representation of the many celebrations I had!)

7. In October, getting to be with my oldest friend Amy over my wedding weekend!

8. 10/11/08, Groovin' with my mama..AT MY WEDDING.

9. Laughing with my soul mate, husband and rock on our Honeymoon!

10. Just last week, celebrating our first married Christmas together with our tree Harvey.

happy new year!

2009-01-01T01:12:00.002-07:00

Happy and Healthy new year everyone! We had a great night and I just enjoyed my last cigarette. Seriously. I flushed the remaining pack,threw out my lighters and vowed that I am done. I wish me and everyone else luck on their resolutions to improve themselves!

New Year Resolutions

2008-12-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

I always always make resolutions! This year I resolve to follow through on my resolutions. For 2009 I only have three.

1. To run everyday. Crazy right? I read this article a few weeks ago about a man who runs everyday and had for years. There is a group of runners who streak (not strip, but streak): U.S. Running Streak Association - to become a member you just run continuously 1 mile everyday. I already run 3-4 days a week for at least 3 miles at a time. So now, I'll just bump it up to 7 days a week- at least one mile.

I ain't going to lie- I am a bit skeptical of this goal. For one thing I have lost my love of running. I used to LOVE to run, I took pride in my weekly schedules and enjoyed getting up early on Saturdays to get a 5, 7 or 12 mile run in. But my spirit was broken. I ran a crappy half marathon and took a new running class that made me feel bad about me. But in the midst of all that, I still ran- and coached. Coaching? I love. I love getting new runners involved and interested in running.

I do recognize one of my recent downfalls has been relying on others. For months I have only been running when I have another person to run with. So this resolution will break me of that habit and help me remember why I love running to begin with. I fell in love with running because it allowed me time for me. That sometimes gets lost when running with others. I have a few running buddies, that after the first mile or so, we can just run and be quiet. I like that. We encourage when we need, but we fall into step and just run. But I will have someone to report to. My former running buddy Kristen moved to Denver, and she is going to do this too. So, I won't be going it alone per se, just I'll be running many days alone.

The reality of time is easy. I just have to get up a half an hour earlier on Mondays and Fridays. Although it doesn't take me a half an hour to run, this will give me time to get ready, get out the door, stretch and run. The other days? Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturdays I have appointments to run already. Sunday? I just will run when I wake up!

So after this lofty goal I still have two more resolutions:

2. To be more glass is half full. I am a negative Nancy, a Debbie downer, a complainy Janey...in 09- no more! D$ will call me at work to say hi and typically I spend 5 minutes bitching about my boss or something. He gets annoyed at me because he just called to say hi and that he loves me and I am not receptive and cranky. Well no more! My rose colored glasses are on, my negativity will be lifted!

3. Finish my dad's socks. In August 07, my pal Monica and I took our second knitting class together. We decided that we would make Christmas socks, she for her son, me for my pops! One lofty goal that was- but we both completed our projects to the elation of ourselves, each other and the recipients of our socks. Then in January my dad sent his socks back, there had been a discrepancy in the measurements and I made his socks too big. So I promptly ripped one sock out, down to the heal to start over.....and that's as far as I got. So, in January, I will pick up the socks again and forge ahead. The first time around it really sucked a lot of time and energy out of me- but I was planning a wedding! This time, no wedding to plan and D$ will be taking a few classes this spring, so I'll have many evenings solo and weekends when he'll be studying. I am not setting a time goal for these socks, but hopefully I can get them to my dad in the fall (they are wool) and still have time for other knitting projects!

So, whew! What about you? What resolutions are planning?

Whew- redemption!

2008-12-29T09:03:00.002-07:00

D$ and I rematched with Trival Pursuit on Friday night (exciting Friday, no?!) and I beat him hands down. Finally all the random answers I knew came into play! Now he keeps putting off another game..but I am confident I will reign supreme!

Marital Advice- already!

2008-12-26T12:18:00.002-07:00

Can I offer some marital advice not even 3 months into my marriage?

Trivial Pursuit is not the best game to give your husband for Christmas. You may know that you are smarter than him (cause you are). But he will kick your ass and it won't go over well.

Honeymoon with my honey

2008-12-18T21:02:00.002-07:00

I have no energy to blog about the trip. I am working 10 hour days, trying to get ready for Christmas, interviewing for a new job (shhhh!) and coaching again (Golightly, I owe you a schedule!)...my life is full, happy and busy. I promise soon I will give a proper recap...but for now, how about a few photos?

I learned to love RUM!

In our room in Tamarindo, CR!

A Tamarindo sunset.

Golden Gate Bridge

In Napa after the third tasting of the day!

Card Swap!

2008-12-18T20:16:00.005-07:00

I participated in the second annual Brooklyn Bride Card swap. I thought I'd post photos of the cards I sent out, and when I get my five cards in, I'll show you those too!

I followed an idea from Martha Stewart, which I can now no longer find. You may recognize the paper from when I participated in the Valentine's Day card swap in February. I just can't bring myself to go back into a Michael's since the wedding. Let's call it post-traumatic stress. So I used my red, beige, brown and pink paper to make these tree cards.

For the front, I layer tree-shapes to add some dimension to the card.

On the inside, the cards pop up! I had fun playing with not only the "styles" of trees, but also how far out they would pop.

Can you see the depth? This is actually an easy process. With an exacto knife or razor, cut two parralell lines from the fold in the card. Then bend the lines the other way, glue tree to your "stump". Repeat.

mmm. trees.

I've already received two of the cards, so when I get them all in, I'll post them!

Tagged

2008-12-16T13:28:00.002-07:00

I was tagged by Linda over at Silly Little Mischief to write 6 random things about me...so here are the rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you- Done!
2. Post the rules on your blog - right here!
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself- read below!
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs- um, no.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

1. I haven't used a real alarm clock since October 8, 2008. For 4 days in a row, I woke up anxious about the wedding/family/activities, so I didn't need the alarm. For 3 weeks I was on honeymoon and when we did need to get up early I used my running watch which has an alarm feature. And everyday since then, I've used my running watch. D$ and I like to think we are still on honeymoon since we don't have to wake up to a real alarm clock!

2. I work in the fundraising field, development as we like to call it, yet am afraid to make "the ask". I can't and will not ask an individual for money. I feel guilty asking people to sponsor me in the Race for the Cure. I have made the ask a few times in my career and it leaves me ucky and guilty for a long time. (to clarify, I do "back-end" giving relations: direct mail, telemarketing, online, etc)

3. I swear like a sailor. I drop the "F-bomb" like nobodies business. Not just that either. I can't make it through a conversation without spicing it up. Horrible habit. I tried to quit once for lent...I said the f-word ten minutes after I quit.

4. I am a cluttered person. My desk, my car, my nightstand, my dresser, my purse. But 9 times out of 10 I know exactly where something is. I just can't get rid of the clutter.

5. I'll be spending my first Christmas away from my parents this year. I am a bit bummed, but D$ and I have a wonderful time planned and we'll see his family on Christmas day. I will miss my dad and our late night drinks and chats in front of the Christmas tree. I'll miss our last minute runs to the store. I'll miss wrapping gifts with my mom in their bedroom watching some re-run show on tv. I'll miss putting bows on the dog's head. But, I'll wake up in my house, next to my spouse and we'll open gifts together.

6. Although be very loud, outgoing and vivacious...I am extremely introverted. I enjoy being alone and often look at awe at women in their 40's, 50's and 60's who are single and happy. If it weren't for D$, I'd be one of them. If I am not with D$, I'd rather be alone.

Something to think about

2008-12-11T09:17:00.002-07:00

Hmmm. We met with Chris the photog extraordinaire last and discussed how to use our "engagement session". We basically forgot to take our engagement photos. Nice.

So Chris suggested a Trash The Dress session. I'm all over it, but poor D$ said "what about all the money you spent on the dress?" Yeah, yeah, but now I really want to hike up Sabino Canyon in my dress. I want to go tromp around town and in dive bars in my dress (wait, already did that!). So now I have to either convince D$ that selling my dress is a lost cause and do the TTD, or just do a nice tame photography session with my husband.

(On a side note, we picked out the style of album we are getting, now we just have to narrow down our pictures!)

Confession

2008-12-08T10:45:00.003-07:00

I have something to confess. My wedding dress is balled up in the corner of my den.

I look at it sometimes. I inspect its damage (broken boning on the right side, all of Tucson's downtown dirt caught in tulle and silk), I smell the silk and I play with the beading. I try to get out the knot from the corset undone, still with no avail. Mainly I ignore it. Tossed aside like a shirt from Target rather than the most expensive garment I'll ever own.

I don't know what to do with it. I don't know if I should clean it and think about selling it, or donate it or keep it. I SHOULD clean it. But that is expensive and not something I want to do right now. Cause if it is clean, then I have to make a decision, right?

Like some brides before me, I'm not attached to my dress. It served me well, I looked good, it held up well....but if I sell it, will I some day regret it? If I keep it, will I regret that too? It already is a season old, how long will it be in style? And where will I store it? Ugghh.

Advice? Offers to buy?

oy vey

2008-12-03T09:50:00.002-07:00

Hang in there with me reader(s). I have lost my blogging mojo although I have a few more things to finish up on before I figure out where to steer this little blog.

We have bridesmaids gifts to discuss, the honeymoon, some other details....and then this little wedding blog of mine is kaput.

D$ and I have been busy nesting, dealing with a mysterious illness and just folding back into our lives post wedding. We celebrated our first holiday as a married couple! We are meeting with Chris, our photog extraordinaire, next week to discuss albums and such. We've also been busy writing thank you notes, which I am pleased to announce we finished in less than 6 weeks (a reminder we were gone for 3 of those weeks).

So, I'll be back with some blogs soon...I promise!

Little Things!

2008-11-19T08:53:00.002-07:00

I about jumped out of my chair this morning when I read Introverted Wife's post about the annoying things her husband does!

I had a suck -ass day yesterday, so nothing in the world can make me happier than making fun of D$ and telling you what he does to annoy me!

He always, always has eye-boogers. He is like a cocker-spaniel in that regard. I can't stand to look him in the eyes when he has eye-boogers, therefore I am constantly telling him to wipe his eyes.

He likes to watch tv in bed. I HATE to watch tv in bed. In fact we only have one tv in our house and it is not in the bedroom. Instead he sets up the laptop and watches shows online or iTunes. I like to read in bed. So I go to bed about 9:30 and read for 30-45 minutes, fall asleep, he swoops in watches a show. It works for now, but as we are using some of the cash we got as gifts to buy a new tv AND get cable (I know, I know) I fear there will be more tv in the bedroom.

He has questionable table manners. I have fine table manners, when need be. My table problem, to be perfectly honest, is that I tend to eat with my mouth open. I broke my nose 3 times in about 18 months. This will make it difficult to breathe through your nose, so eating was hard...I ate with my mouth open. It is a habit I have found hard to break.

But D$? That man belches at the table, doesn't know what utensil to use, never puts his napkin on his lap...and the most irritating thing: he moves the dishes around. My paternal grandmother was super Victorian, she was a throwback, so when we had Easter dinner at her house, the china came out, fine silver...the works. When we go have Easter with his family, paper plates baby, paper plates. It was drilled in me that water glasses go here, dessert spoon here. He sits down and automatically moves his glasses and pushes his plate to the side. Don't get me wrong, when we eat at home, I belch at the table too, I get casual, but as soon as we go out, I like to follow the rules!

Okay, there you have it. What about you? What annoys you about your significant other?

Groomsmen Gifts

2008-11-18T08:32:00.000-07:00

D$ wanted to do something a bit different for his groomsmen. He has been in at least 5 weddings since we've been together, and he knows his groomsmen were also familiar to the circuit. So the standards were out: cuff links, money clips, flasks, key chains, beer steins, pocket watches and ties were overdone and out- at least for us.

So after months of thinking, D$ just got gifts for the guys. No need to make them matching or complementary.

For my brother who is a cook, we got him Larousse Gastronomique, basically a gourmands bible. If you love to eat, drink and cook I highly recommend it.

For Ben, we got him a copy of Hello Wilbur! which seems odd, but for 4 seasons Ben was the Arizona Wildcats mascot, Wilbur and is featured in this book! He also got a new U of A t-shirt.

Mike, the bestman received a gift certificate to his favorite Tucson restaurant. I ran over a few days before he arrived and purchased it and D$ met him at the airport to pass it on. He had told us that he was looking forward to taking his wife back there, as the early months of their courtship were spent in that restaurant. Easy, done!

Because all the gifts were different, they were more personal to each of the guys!

A bit of a follow up

2008-11-17T10:31:00.004-07:00

A few of you have asked about my brother. I had mentioned briefly in a previous post that my middle brother and I were estranged. We haven't spoken since last Christmas. Prior to the falling out, he had agreed to be one of D$'s groomsmen along with my other brother. Needless to say, he bailed and for a long time there was a question about if he would even attend.

In the end he came, with his wife and my two adorable nieces. The showed up the Wednesday before. They participated in just about everything. When we had family dinner on Thursday, they came. I invited them to every bit of the "wedding weekend". I did not want any blame or accusations about not including them. They came out for a bit to our bachelor/bachelorette party, the the rehearsal dinner and of course to the wedding.

I will not lie and say that it was all roses and kitties. He and I did not speak. He was, to his credit, gracious and generous with his kids. My one niece is only 5 months old and my brother made a point of bringing her over to me to hold and visit often. Their other daughter knew how to say "Aunt Jenn" (she is 2). That was what I needed.

He and orbited around each other, limiting contact. In every picture he is smiling and he did his duty. I would ask no more from him. I know some guests of the wedding have commented to me how unhappy he and his wife appeared to be there. That may be true, but for me and for my parents all I needed was for him to be there.

It is not easy, the time leading up to your wedding. Emotions run high, feelings are hurt. If there is ONE thing, just one thing that I have taken from this wedding blogging community- it has been learning that no wedding is perfect. I know a bunch of bloggers whose parents didn't attend for one reason or another, or siblings missed or tensions were high. This has been the comfort I have received from the blogging community- the knowledge that I am not alone.

I know had he not have come, I would have a lifetime of questions, guilt and hurt to deal with. I'm not sure where we will end up, if we will mend our fences, but I know that because he came, those fences will be easier to mend for me. I am so proud and pleased he showed up, no matter the reasons behind it now. I am happy he was there no matter if he and his wife looked grumpy (and I know that is a reflection of them, not of me). I was happy to see my brother again, if only from across the room.

One of the best things I ever did...

2008-11-14T08:55:00.001-07:00

I borrowed an idea from Weddingbee, and I apologize, I don't remember who it was and as I am not going back to the site, I can't look it up. But the idea was brilliant.

Basically I made a business card size handout for everyone involved in the wedding with all the information they needed. I made my cards in Word. I used a blank page, set to landscape and divided the page into 1/3s. On one third a made a BRIDAL PARTY version, on 1/3 I made a GROOMSMEN version and on the last third I made a FAMILY version. When cut and folded, the were the size of a business card- small, convenient....what else do you need! I printed them on card stock to add some heft.

Here is the Bridal Party version:

Schedule of Events
BRIDAL PARTY
Friday, October 10
11:00 am – Rehearsal at Z Mansion

1:00 pm – Bridal Lunch
Pastiche, 3025 N. Campbell Ave

2:30 pm – Optional, Mani/pedi
Classy Nails

6:00 pm – REHEARSAL DINNER, El Charro

Saturday, October 11th
11:30 pm – Hair appointments
Essenza Salon, 6320 E Broadway

2:00 pm – Z Mansion
Photographs begin, DON’T BE LATE!

5:00 pm – Ceremony begins

6:00 pm – Reception

CONTACTS:
Bride: 520.
Jenn S: 520.
Melisa: 520.
Amy: 917.
Jaime: 480
Groom: 520

Here is a photo of D$ and Ben at the bachelor/bachelorette party. See the blue cards in their shirt pockets? Yup, that's their groom card!

I loved that the wedding party referred to the cards, used the numbers, called each other and if I was remiss in handing out a card, I was asked "where do I get a blue card?". I was frequently referred to as "the most organized bride"...yeah, I fooled them all!

Brides to be, if you want the template, I'll be happy to send you mine!

A few of my favorite things, part III

2008-11-13T08:30:00.001-07:00

Do you guys watch The Office? In the episode called "The Alliance", Dwight asks Jim if he wants to form an alliance. Jim answers: "absolutely I do". Jim, in an aside to the camera admits that whenever Dwight asks him to do something he always answers "absolutely I do".

In a future episode Pam follows Jim's lead. When Dwight asks her to be his secret Assistant to the Manager she answers "Absolutely I do".

So on October 11th, at about 5:05pm, when my uncle asked D$ the Declaration of Intent "D$ understanding that God has created, ordered and blessed the covenant of marriage, do you affirm your desire and intent to enter this covenant?" His response was "Absolutely I Do"

And my response:

shoot, it's happening

2008-11-12T09:02:00.003-07:00

Last night, as D$ and I celebrated our monthaversary, we enjoyed a bottle of wine we picked up on our Napa leg of our honeymoon. We watched Monday's episode of "How I met your Mother". It was a funny episode, as always, but this particular episode Marshall and Lilly think about having a baby.

Watching this show, I literally felt my uterus jump for joy. I can have a baby now with no societal implications. I won't be unwed! Except we aren't ready. We may never be ready, and we know that, but right now we really aren't ready.

I feel like one big stereotype. Wedding is over, so now let us nest and have babies! Let me just put my apron on and kick off my shoes while I'm at it.

I am dreading Thanksgiving, dreading that we will be surrounded by D$'s family who have no filter when it comes to personal questions. They had been asking us for years about marriage and buying a house and now it'll be about a baby.

We have it mapped out, we have a timeline, we have a plan. But when did it become socially acceptable for co-workers, in-laws, friends to ask us about these plans? When you ask us about buying a house, what you are really doing is prying into our financial situation; and unless you are writing my paycheck, how much I make is none of your business.

So for now, society at large...let us now bask in the glow of our successful happy wedding. Do not remind me about my age, or tell D$ about how interest prices are low. Trust me, we are well aware.

(once again, I step off my soap box)

Monthaversary

2008-11-11T08:56:00.003-07:00

Wow..time flies when you have a 3 week honeymoon! I can hardly believe a whole month has passed since we exchanged our vows. And what a jam packed month it has been; between our travels, settling back into work, the election, friends birthdays, family births...we've had a lot going on!

One of our favorite wedding gifts was from my parents dear friends Karen and Rick. We received this beautiful vase (in a blue box!) from them just before the wedding.

At the wedding we received a card from them with instructions. We are to fill the vase with flowers on the 11th of every month. This month was on them, so we received a beautiful bouquet this morning. December I am responsible for flowers, January is D$'s turn.

I am totally stealing this idea from them in the future. It will start a new tradition in our house and guarantee that in this busy first year of marriage we slow down and remember each other!

A few of my favorite things, part II

2008-11-10T11:38:00.003-07:00

Portraits....I have to admit, as much as I LOVE my photographer, I hated taking photos. Chris made me growl, twirl, pose in poses that are unnatural to my make-up as a human being and look off into far away lands.

Although I feel like I look horribly uncomfortable in most of my portraits, here are a few I adore:

I felt really silly taking these photos, but Chris was right, my eyes do look amazing, if I do say so myself!

We took like a gazillion "Jenn kiss D$ and now Jenn look at me while D$ kisses you" shots...and I guess for good reason, they are super cute!

Um, yeah. I bought this dress cause I got curves and it shows them off well.

We had a bit of help getting my veil to flip up like that. Chris's assistant would run up, flip the veil till the wind caught it, then run away...until this happened.

All photos courtesy of Chris Richards.

A bit of a bummer

2008-11-07T11:37:00.003-07:00

The only part of the wedding weekend that I was unhappy about was the Bridal luncheon. I had envisioned something different than what it was...but all in all it was fine.

I had hoped to speak about everyone at the table, I had hoped to be eloquent and grateful and graceful. I had hoped that my expressions of love would flow from me. But instead, I cried like a baby whenever I tried to speak and I was tired, hungover and cranky from the bachelorette party the night before.

I *hope* that for everyone but me, it was a good time. I hope they felt what I wanted them to feel, I hope they enjoyed themselves. Me, not so much.

I am sad that I feel this way. I know I need to let go and move on, and I will. I just want a do-over, you know?

Please, just vote

2008-11-04T09:05:00.002-07:00

I don't care who you vote for. Well sure I do, but just exercise your right.

And know your rights. In Arizona, you have to show id, if your address on your id doesn't match your registered address YOU DO NOT NEED TO FILL OUT A PROVISIONAL BALLOT. You just need your official election materials (at least 1), a utility bill (cell phone counts!) and your id.

If you have falsely filled out a provisional ballot, please follow up, please do what you need to do to make sure your vote counts. Do not listen to the polling workers, they don't always know everything, you are responsible for knowing your rights.

(steps off soap box)

Tagged

2008-11-01T18:18:00.008-07:00

I was tagged by Not Just a Military Wife to post eight random things about me. I'm going to change it up a bit and list eight random things from the wedding! (Although Jenn may have already written about some of these thing!)

1. We had a hot dog cart. It was supposed to be announced and D$(my husband) and I would feed each other hot dogs ala wedding cake, but a few guests jumped the gun and we just ate our hot dogs normally. Well I guess if you consider eating a hot dog wrapped in bacon while wearing a wedding dress normal!

2. One of my favorite moments was watching my niece and flower girl Lucy dance away on the dance floor. The dessert buffet was announced and she ran, full speed to the buffet. But it was like one fluid motion: dance, run. Too freaking funny! My brother and I just stood there laughing at each other!

3. My dress kicked the shit out of me. The next day I had bruises from where the boning dug into me and chaffing on my back from the silk. Seriously, I was sore for two days and bruised for a week. you can see in this picture that my dress revolted. Nice shelf, no? Whats up with that and how come no one told me?

4. I don't remember seeing D$ as I walked down the aisle. My dad and I talked the whole time and I looked at Jenn, who was crying, which made me cry some more...but I didn't see D$. I guess our girl crush is solidified Jenn!

5. I forgot to switch my engagement ring to my right hand, so during the ceremony I slyly made the switch!

6. Nothing really went wrong! The florist skipped out before finishing her work, the caterer said we owe them more money, we ran out of wine in 45 minutes (bartender went and bought more), I forgot a BUNCH of stuff, but it was all perfect. I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

7. Somehow, a little dance circle circa 1985 broke out. I had no idea some people could dance so well! Best thing ever, Arturo, from the hot dog cart, he came out to dance! Seriously. The dude I hired to man the hot dog cart, took a little break, came and danced his arse off. I loved it! Isn't he the cutest?

8. Remember M& S's wedding we went to in May? At their wedding, M and S did this dance, and Indian pop thing, were basically you go as low as you can go, and then hop....yeah. I did it with M...freaking hilarious. With a beer in hand... wait! Could THIS be why my dress broke?

If you want to do this meme, go on ahead, I am too lazy to try to tag folks.

Readings

2008-11-01T17:56:00.002-07:00

We had three readings during our ceremony. I picked all three, approved by DH and executed by three people very close to us.

The first quote was from "Gifts from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. As a wedding gift, my father gave me his mothers copy of the book. She passed when I was 13, but my father and my uncle both assure me that she and I are very similar and she would have loved sharing books and politics (and beer and cigarettes) with me. He shared with me that she read this book at a very difficult time in her life (affairs, marital troubles) but that it helped her. I knew she loved this book, but had no idea the magnitude of support it provided for her when I chose the quote.

This is the quote my sister in law read:

EXCERPT FROM "THE GIFT FROM THE SEA"~ By Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

DH's uncle read next. A passage form the bible and admittedly overdone in wedding ceremonies. However, for me it was important to include, because it was read at my parents wedding 44 years ago. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Finally, BM and Matchmaker, Melisa read my favorite relationship quote ever. It was read at a friend's wedding 2 years ago. I always cry at weddings, but I balled when this was read. I knew, if I married the man sitting next to me, I NEEDED this read at my wedding.

Union by Robert Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way.

All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –This is my husband. This is my wife.

Powerful stuff, no? All three readers blew us away. The love, the emotion that came forward from them waved over us.

A few of my favorite things, part 1

2008-10-31T17:58:00.004-07:00

At the rehearsal dinner, my family gave a few toasts. The most memorable for me, was the toast given by my dad.

He and I share a bond, a strong love for each other. He exposed me to music, writing, poetry, love of the arts, food and most of all sports. We share a passion for Shakespeare, so when he paraphrased from King Lear I wasn't too surprised.

I wrote a mini-thesis in college about King Lear, and my father and I discussed it daily. I compared myself to Cordelia (the youngest, favorite child- without the incestial overtones) and he, my King Lear.

My father, in his toast, paraphrased Act V, scene 3 when Lear tries to talk Cordelia out of marrying:

so we'll live, And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh At gilded butterflies, and hear poor rogues Talk of court news; and we'll talk with them too,-- Who loses and who wins; who's in, who's out;-- And take upon's the mystery of things, As if we were God's spies

My dad said to me that he can not ask this of me, because he sees how happy I am with my man. For a moment, I thought of dumping Fi and running off with my dad.

On a funny note, Megan Fox of Transformers fame, stayed in the room my parents had, just the night before...and she has the gilded butterfly quote tatooed on her back. How about that?! My dad is still telling people that he shred a bed with Megan Fox (hangs head).

wedding recap

2008-10-31T17:07:00.001-07:00

Our pal Ben, who stood up for my man left this recap of our wedding on his blog. Hilarious.

From honeymooner to house wife in 2 hours

2008-10-30T11:40:00.003-07:00

We are home. Lovely, lovely time indeed. I am so overwhelmed I don't know where to begin. Jenn did a fantastic job recapping for me! At the time, I was upset with my florist and pissed off at a few people (escort cards are not a suggestion people) but even in the moment I was calm (I think). I couldn't be happier with the final product, I am so amazed that it just came together. We have heard nothing but positive feedback from friends and family, its been so nice.

My only regret? I had nothing borrowed. I had a few people who were supposed to be bringing me back up old, blue, and borrowed stuff. But I never had anything borrowed. So I can either give back a handkerchief that was my something old, or stretch and say that my make up was borrowed, even though I paid for the service.

The honeymoon? awesome. It took a couple days (or weeks) for me to learn how to let go again. My Dear Husband (DH) woke up every morning in Costa Rica with me saying "so today should we boogie board first, or should we walk on the beach first? Which way should we walk? To Playa Langosta or into Tamirindo? Should I have mango today or papaya?" I was annoyed with my need to plan and make order, I'm sure he was ready to slap me. But as the tide rolled in, and time washed over me, I finally let go.

As I get settled into real life again, read my 477 items in google reader and finish laundry I'll be back with some recapping of my own!

Reception: Part 2

2008-10-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

Shortly after the Father-Daughter Dance, El Guero Canelo Sonoran hot dog stand arrived, and a mild form of chaos ensued. You would think the guests hadn't just eaten a full dinner and desserts the way a line formed at the back gate of the Z!

(courtesy of Peggy Hazard)

And, as it if were planned or something :), the Mariachi band arrived and started playing! The festivities just kept going, and it was like a second wind had taken over everyone in attendance!

(courtesy of Amy Hughey)

And what's a wedding reception without a little dancing?

(Courtesy of Todd Tosseth)

All in all, the wedding was exactly what I think a wedding really should be. It was about the couple sharing their special moment with family and friends. It was about the couple celebrating how far they've come, while still looking out into the future for what is yet to come. And it was a damn good party!!

I'm so glad that I met Jennifer, and was able to be such a big part of her wedding! It truly was such a wonderful weekend, and I hope I got all the important things across during the last few weeks as "guest blogger." :)

Thanks for reading these posts, and I'll be handing this back over to Jennifer, who should be back at it very soon! To those brides who are still working your way up to the Big Day, congratulations and good luck!!

Let the party begin!

2008-10-27T08:46:00.000-07:00

By the time the couple re-emerged from the photo shoots, the guests were seated at their respective tables. And speaking of tables...

(courtesy of Peggy Hazard)

The tables were fabulous, don't you think? Of course, I'm a bit biased since the centerpieces were a third my doing. :) Jennifer and her groom made their rounds during dinner, which was a delicious buffet catered by Blue House.

"Sole Sisters": Jennifer with fellow runners (courtesy of yours truly)

Following the dinner, of course, were the Mexican pastries from La Estrella Bakery. Various empanadas, conches, and Mexican wedding cookies were spread out on the dessert table topped with more of the paper flowers we arranged, and the Day of the Dead cake-topper that she and her groom picked up in Mexico.

Father-Daughter Dance (courtesy of Amy Hughey)

Ahh, and then the Father-Daughter dance.

Post-Ceremony Photos

2008-10-25T10:44:00.000-07:00

[Note: All photos in this post are courtesy of Chris Richards]

Immediately following the ceremony, the guests followed the couple out to the front of the Z, where the photographer took a big group picture of everyone. I'm still amazed at what a wide-angle lens can do!

Smile!

Next, while the guests mingled at a cocktail hour by the bar with delicious hors d'oeuvres, the ceremony site was converted into a reception site, and the newlyweds, bridal party, and family members went off to take another round of portraits. And what a delightful round of portraits they were!

The Ceremony

2008-10-22T08:26:00.000-07:00

The guests were seated. The mothers walked to their seats with small bouquets. The debonair groomsmen and groom took their places next to Jennifer's uncle who officiated. The bridesmaids in their gorgeous kelly green dresses walked down the aisle and took their places. The beyond-adorable flowergirl smiled on her walk up to join the bridesmaids.

The Father and the Bride (courtesy of Chris Richards)

And a stunning bride descended the stairs from the balcony, arm in arm with her father. To be honest, I don't remember much of their walk past me down the aisle as I was busy wiping away tears and trying to stifle my sniffles.

During the ceremony (courtesy of Chris Richards)

The ceremony was poignant and wonderful. Various readings were made by one of the groom's uncles, Jennifer's sister-in-law, and Mel. I could feel the love and fond memories coming from each of the readers as well as the officiant, who also officiated at both of Jennifer's older brothers' weddings. There was laughter, there were tears. There were vows, and then there was a marriage.

Woo hoo! (courtesy of Chris Richards)

Pictures Worth Thousands of Words

2008-10-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

In order to enjoy as much of their own cocktail hour and reception as possible, the bride and groom opted to take many of their portraits and other photos before the ceremony. It also helped with the lighting, since the ceremony started at 5 pm, and the sun sets here around 6 these days.

The Groomsmen, led by the Groom (courtesy of Chris Richards)

Next, it was off to the Tucson Meet Yourself festival, happening just over a block away from the Z. This festival was the reason the couple couldn't get married at their favorite Tucson building, the Courthouse, so it was apropos that they went and took some pictures there, amidst the crowds, food, and the beauty that is their beloved Tucson.

The Bride and Groom (courtesy of Chris Richards)

Smooches in Presidio Park (courtesy of yours truly)

On our walk back to the Z, we heard the bagpiper warming up. This was it -- it's time to get married!!

I inturrupt this guest blogging

2008-10-17T08:48:00.003-07:00

I know, I know! I am on my HONEYMOON for goshdarnits...but I can´t stay away!

Costa Rica so far is lovely, even though we are beeing pounded by two hurrican systems, everyone assures us, tomorrow it´ll be beautiful. I off for a massage today and hopefully a walk on the beach!

Adios Amigas!

Getting Ready

2008-10-15T15:12:00.013-07:00

The Big Day started ominously cloudy, with rain throughout the morning and early afternoon, all around Tucson. As scheduled, the ladies in the bridal party as well as Jennifer's mom met at Essenza Salon at 11:30 to get spruced up.

The bride at Essenza Salon (courtesy of yours truly)

After Jennifer was ready -- looking gorgeous already with her hair and makeup done, her veil in her hair, and wearing one of her dad's button-up shirts -- I drove her to the Z to start settling in and getting ready for pictures at 2. On our way downtown, it started to sprinkle. While we were in the Bride's Room after the rest of the bridesmaids showed up, it started to pour. The owners of the Z came in and gave a quick weather report, and a summary of what would be done if the rain was here to stay.

(courtesy of yours truly)

After Mel and I got Jennifer all snug in her beautiful wedding dress, the rest of us got ready, and the photographer started snapping away!

Pretty Bridesmaids, and adorable Flowergirl! (courtesy of yours truly)

While Jennifer got some bride portraits taken, the girls helped me get some odds and ends done, like laying out the escort cards and guest book.

Escort cards, alphabetized by Jaime, beautifully arranged by Amy. (courtesy of Amy Hughey)

Family photos honoring those who could not make it to the wedding (courtesy of Amy Hughey)

The flowers were delivered, and they were gorgeous. Jennifer's bouquet in particular was special. Cream colored roses, succulents, and wrapped in Buchanan family plaid -- it was truly unique.

Beautiful Bride's Bouquet (courtesy of yours truly)

By this time, the sun was out, and the streets were drying up. Things were getting set-up out in the courtyard as an outdoor wedding. Everything was back on schedule and in plan!

Let's Start at the Beginning

2008-10-15T10:44:00.010-07:00

First of all, I am very happy to announce that the photographer sent a few teaser photos to Jennifer, and she forwarded them on to me so that I can share them with you, her beloved readers! Yes, she forwarded them from Costa Rica. Yes, I told her to get back to her honeymoon already. Anyway, some/most of these pictures will make it into the blog in the near future, so that's exciting! :)

So I'll do this in parts, starting with, well, the beginning. :) And for all intents and purposes, that was the day before the wedding: Friday, October 10th, 2008.

The rehearsal was held at the Z at 11 am, and everything went smoothly. It was a beautiful Tucson day. The owner of the Z gave us a few guidelines and schedules, and the bridal party ran through what they were going to be doing on the big day. But you know all that, since most of you are fellow wedding bloggers, right? :)

Following the rehearsal, the ladies of the bridal party (plus yours truly :)) were invited out for a Ladies Lunch at Pastiche in Tucson. What a wonderful lunch, and wonderful company!

Then, most of us went our separate ways, some of us to go get manis, others to go rest up for the rehearsal dinner, which was at El Charro in downtown Tucson, right across from the Z!

The rehearsal dinner was fantastic: fantastic food, fantastic people, fantastic toasts, fantastic evening. It was nice for the couple to spend some time with family and close friends before the wedding, and for the extended families to meet and mingle.

This picture just may be the last picture of the couple before they tied the knot -- and what a great picture this is! I think their smiles exude their excitement of what's next: The Wedding!

Hello!

2008-10-14T10:59:00.002-07:00

Hi, everyone! I'm Jennifer's friend Jenn, and as she has already mentioned, I will be here as her guest blogger while she and her new hubby are traipsing around Costa Rica for the next two weeks, as well as the following week, while they explore San Francisco! I'm a little nervous about the hype Jennifer has built up, but I'll do my best. ;)

A little bit about my relationship to Jennifer: I met her through a women's beginner running class here in Tucson in January '07. I think she's mentioned that she coaches a running class once a week now -- that's the same class! We now coach it together, which is very cool. I don't know how many miles we've run together by now... thousands?... but every mile has been memorable with her! After she got engaged shortly after we met, talk naturally gravitated towards wedding planning, which I was eager to help out with. And of course, that culminated in this past weekend's festivities! I was very honored to have gotten to share all of the bridal party fun and help out on the day of the wedding as an informal coordinator. It was a fantastic wedding!!

Anyway, I just wanted to put up a quick post to let you all know that I'm here, and excited to do some guest blogging for Jennifer. I don't have any pictures from the photographer or anything, but do plan on dishing out all sorts of information on the wedding weekend throughout the next few weeks, complete with pictures that her bridesmaids and I took! Sorry for the short posting for now. :)

I did it.

2008-10-12T18:18:00.002-07:00

There was crying, there were Sonoran hot dogs as a late night snack, there was a wedding crasher and it was the best. day. ever.

I'm hoping I get a few teasers from my photographer tonight or tomorrow- but until then- here is this photo courtesy of Jenn.

I'm getting Married today!

2008-10-11T06:30:00.002-07:00

HOLY CRAP.

I've been up since 4:30- just awake and thinking. I hope I can make it through the day. My love for Fi has not waivered and I have not questioned it once during this process- but man am I a bundle of nerves today.

I'm not sure if I am hungry or nauseous. I am sleepy but can't go back to sleep. I keep trying to convince myself that today is any other day, but my stomach is not agreeing.

I know what I am doing today is not unique. Society has given us this tradition and I am playing my role. That role is so ingrained in me, that if necessary I can just act it out. But I want to be present and I want to be calm and I want my stomach to help me out a bit.

So in a few moments I am going to put on my running clothes and meet my dad for a jog. Then he and I will meet up with my mom and go have breakfast together. Then the day begins.

I'll see you on the other side!

Guest Blogger!

2008-10-09T15:07:00.001-07:00

You all remember Jenn right? Well she has agreed to do a bit of guest blogging while I'm away for 3 weeks! I'm going to leave the posts up to her, but hopefully she'll be able to share some details and some photos with you all until I get back.

We leave for our honeymoon on Tuesday and I know our fabulous photographer sent Ellie some teaser shots the next day, so hopefully I'll have a few of those to post as well!

I'm sure you will welcome her and I can't wait to read what she has to say about my day (no pressure)! She is a great voice to have fill in while I'm gone too, because she has helped with this planning every step of the way.

Thanks Jenn!

Wedding Twins unite!

2008-10-09T08:52:00.002-07:00

Before I forget- I want to give a shout out to my wedding twins!

Emerson and Michael, may your wedding be the love inspired, fun weekend you have planned ofr it to be. I can't wait to read how the music turned out, how your hand selected beer was received, what Michael decided to have engraved on Emerson's ring and to see all the pictures!

Jenna- my wedding twin with the mostess! I wish you and That groom years of happiness together. And look at us now! Two ringless brides planning a wedding that will happen on Saturday! I can't wait to see all your details pulled together, your style and enthusiasm are unmatched in the bridal blog world. May your multi-part celebrations be wonderful, the temple service, your ring ceremony, reception AND home town reception!

In a weird way, I am as excited for my e-friends as Iam for myself. It is a wonderful bond we share, my wedding twins, to have followed the same idea and here we are throwing 3 wildly different weddings. But in the end, it all comes back to love.

My Turn?

2008-10-08T22:12:00.004-07:00

My oldest brother, his wife and my niece travel to see us once a year. They live in DC, so every February or March they head out to spend some time with us in the sun.

So today I left work (for THREE weeks) and stopped by the hotel my brother's family is staying to say hello. I went to the pool to see them, stuck my feet in the hot tub; just like i did in March and February 2007 and March 2006- all the way back to February 2002.

So right now- it feels like a visit from my brother- not my wedding. The came over, my niece fell asleep in my bed and my brother, SIL, fi and I drained a few bottles. Same old same old.

When is it going to feel real? When's it going to feel like my wedding?

While I have a minute

2008-10-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

Reflection comes easy these days. I am often pondering my friendships, my support and of course my love for my man. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am honored by my e-friends.

When I started this blog in January, I sent the link to two friends, and then to one more and then some of you found me. I started it for me, as most blogs should be started, to have place to reflect, rant and ramble off ideas. You all have supported, inspired, laughed and e-loved me.

If it were not for this community I have formed, for this outlet I have because of this blog and help I have received from other bloggers, I think I'd be lost!

So from my humble little blog to you...thanks for all the support on this journey!

ps- I am going to try to get a few more posts in before Saturday, so this isn't the last of me! :)

Do we not know what we don't know?

2008-10-06T22:10:00.003-07:00

We are okay.

We bought some more liquor and sparkling water tonight.

I just purchased a wedding gift for my Fi.

But I am afraid we are forgetting something. We confirmed with our vendors, we have checks ready to hand out, honeymoon reservations have been confirmed.

So what are we forgetting? I know it is my nature to fret and wait for the other shoe to drop, and for a worrier, a wedding is filled with things to worry over.

The bright side? My wonderful SIL booked us for massages on Thursday. Good thing too as my right shoulder is hard as a rock with tension.

Weather!

2008-10-06T15:03:00.003-07:00

We live in the desert. We are lucky to get 10 inches of rain a year and in October we are lucky if we get an inch. So planning an outdoor wedding in Tucson SHOULD be a safe bet, no?

Our ceremony and reception is outdoors.

Currently the weather sites all give us a 30% chance of rain before 7pm. That blows. Big time.

I know we are still 5 days out, but PLEASE rain, rain go away. Come back on Sunday.

Pre Marriage Counseling

2008-10-06T08:49:00.002-07:00

We finished our counseling...and I believe I can speak for Fi and myself that is was helpful.

I'm not sure that we learned anything new or profound, but it was really just nice.

We had previously taken a test and we learned that we are VERY compatible in many ways, and where we differed, there was at least a sign of respect towards each other.

We walked away with homework.
1. To remember that we chose each other.
2. To not assume.
3. To offer respect to each other.

See- not THAT groundbreaking, but nice, no? What a nice reminder that we are good together and that we need to focus on that.

Caution!

2008-10-05T13:05:00.002-07:00

We've all read them...you know those GAzillion articles and wedding checklists reminding you to get your hair color/cut/facials/waxing a week before your wedding.

Well I implore, nay beg you, to follow the rules.

May my right eyebrow be a lesson to us all.

Friday I had my hair color and cut with my hair dresser extraordinaire. I also had a brow shaping with my usual waxer.

Well the wax was a bit hotter than usual and I have a burn above my right eye. Today looks a lot better today than yesterday and yesterday looked better than Friday. I am confident my eye will heal and there will be but a trace of a burn if anything by Saturday.

But had I not followed the rules...I'd be in a bit of a pickle for the wedding.

A word about---football.

2008-10-05T00:08:00.002-07:00

I KNOW I have a few readers who are football fans themselves, so they'll understand.

We planned our wedding in the heart of college football season. We coordinated so that our "home" team was away (ie more hotel rooms, ease for our guests, season ticket holders were sure to attend) and that my alma mater was away as well. A bye week would have been preferable, but we lucked out that MY NFL team has a bye.

But now here we are a week away, home from a HUGE win for our home team and I thought of this: next week my team plays A&M. At MY wedding we will have 4 A& M grads. MY team better win, or I may have to ask all those guests to leave.

I again know, my football lovers will understand..and of course, I WONT really kick them out, but sheesh, that will stink if they win and shove it down my throat at MY wedding.

Maybe we should have planned the wedding for June...neutral territory.

Tips for making your table assignments easy.

2008-10-04T10:57:00.002-07:00

1. Know that it will not be easy.
2. Spend way too much time trying to get it done by yourself before yelling at your Fi to help.
3. Ignore the task for a week.
4. Dedicate an evening to it, knowing full well, it will only take a few minutes, how hard could it be!
5. Have fi bring home a bottle of champagne (as a surprise) and drain it of its contents while moving people around.
6. Stand over your dining room table filled with escort cards, moving folks around for 2-3 hours.
7. Awe at your brilliance when you make connections (ie JOE is a doctor and my cousin Susan IS A DOCTOR too, so clearly they must sit together! Duncan is a navy pilot, Matt was in the Navy - table 7, done!)
8. Act surprised when at 11:00pm after 4.5 hours that it took THAT long and bask in your glory of getting all 112 people at 14 tables.

All is good

2008-10-03T09:51:00.001-07:00

I just got this email form my FMIL:

We are very happy for you and Fi. It is a parent's hope that their child find true love and happiness in life. We feel that Fi has found that with you. We love you and know you belong in our family. I hope we have been able to make you feel that. FMIL

Well shuks! I'm getting married in 8 days!

Whew..it IS political

2008-10-02T13:30:00.003-07:00

The times they are a changing. Weddingbee has been sold to eHarmony.

That blows. You can read about why I disagree with the sale on this post that was written by bees more eloquent than me. I will no longer have a link to Weddingbee on my blog roll, but with permission I will be linking to the bloggers I support.

I struggle with this as a reader and a friend. I consider myself to be friends with a few of the 'bees. I email regularly with a few, I was linked to a few before they made it big with Weddingbee, one even designed my invitations. One, I stalk her husband at my grocery store (just kidding Ellie, only cause I think he stopped shopping near me!). I also feel caught in the middle as I know a few of my favorite bees fall on opposite sides of the aisle.

My time as a bride is coming to an end. I often hear about newlyweds who can't drop wedding blogs off their readers and continue to follow along. I wonder what my free time will be like after the wedding. I wonder what new interests will remain? Will I continue making paper flowers and to be interested in stationary? I do know that I will no longer be interested in Weddingbee. And that makes me a bit sad.

(Waving white flag)

2008-10-02T09:42:00.002-07:00

I surrender. I surrendered to Fi this morning when I forwarded him the SEVEN emails from his mom. He asked if he could answer them and I said yes (I think I may have screamed it, but agreed none the less).

I surrender to the realization that I have been a royal biatch to everyone lately, throwing out ultimatums and threats like candy at a parade. My deepest apologies to everyone.

I surrender to this cold/allergies/stress bubble turned into snot that's in my head. I will let go.

I FULLY, COMPLETELY, for the last time, surrender to the idea that at the end of the day....I will be married and that is all that matters.

No one is more disappointed than me, so shut up

2008-10-02T08:56:00.002-07:00

Yes, we had a guest list originally of 200 folks. Yes we CUT it to shreds, yes we had 1/3 of our guest list respond that they can not attend. And yes, for the love of all things holy- that royally sucks.

As my vendor it doesn't help you to point this out to me. I am already saddened more than you will know that all these loved ones can't come.

As my future mother-in-law it doesn't make me feel better when you point out how many of my family aren't coming.

As a helpful friend, it doesn't make me feel any better that I ONLY have 14 tables to deal with.

my favorite wedding task- thus far

2008-09-30T16:53:00.005-07:00

I ordered candles for the reception and I received them today. At 12:30 I lit one, just to see how long it would burn. Now 4.5 hours later, it is still burning strong.

My favorite wedding task? Laying on the couch enjoying my day off (after a busy morning) watching my candle burn. May all the rest of my remaining tasks be like this.

License to Wed

2008-09-30T13:00:00.004-07:00

I have the day off, thanks to the holiday of Rosh Hashannah (L'shana Tova to my Jewish brides!). I have been running around all morning catching up and running errands. First on the list, get the marriage license.

Fi and I met at the Pima County Courthouse this morning, paid our $72 (prices JUST went up last week!), swore we were who we said we were, signed, sealed and viola! We are licensed!

Beautiful day in Tucson, we love the gorgeous historic courthouse behind us. We originally planned to marry in the courtyard there, but this is happening there the same day.

Our license! Pardon my hair, it was windy!

One last shot of our favorite building in Tucson!

I've been tagged

2008-09-29T09:47:00.003-07:00

I recommend that bride's to be should not be tagged within a month of their wedding. But I was, and so you'll receive this half-hearted response. But Tayia tagged me and said she reads me everyday (sheesh, that's awesome!) so I had to at least play along!

4 things I did today:
1. Woke up before my alarm!
2. Opened a belated shower gift that included Penis shaped Cookie cutters.
3. Wished my oldest brother a happy birthday!
4. Found a new scarf pattern to take on the honeymoon!

4 things on my To Do list:
1. Go to track tonight!
2. Follow up on our 2 delinquent wedding guests
3. Table seating table seating table seating
4. Make a list of my vendors for Jenn

4 of my guiltiest pleasures:
1. Secret smoking- although I am sure all of my friends are aware I have started again.
2. Mariachi music
3. Fried foods. I miss them, I can't wait to eat them again after the wedding!
4. my sloth-like behavior. Can't wait to catch up on being a sloth on the honeymoon!

4 random facts about me:
1. I am able to recognize faces really well. It is annoying. I'll meet some one once and remember for life, or heck, I'll even stand behind them in the grocery line and remember them.
2. I hold grudges big time. And not rational grudges, but grudges that don't make sense. Like I hate Va Tech football. I once sat in a a bar with a dude who went to every Va Tech football game and he was an ass. So because of him, I hate Va Tech football. Rational? no way, but it works for me.
3. I want to become and accomplished anything: cook, baker, runner, writer, career woman. I have a desire to succeed at something.
4. I still sleep with stuffed animals on the bed.

I think everyone I know has been tagged by this, or they fall into the one-month before their wedding time range that I refuse to intrude on, so if you want to do this meme....go right ahead!

Last but not least

2008-09-28T19:13:00.004-07:00

Today I had my last shower, my in-town shower. I previously celebrated with Fi's family and friends, my mom and her ladies and now- my friends! Here is the pretty invitation, even stamped with a "celebration" stamp!

As I mentioned before, it was intimate, but I couldn't have asked for a better morning!

My pals Jenn and Mel, along with running pals Beth and Jenise were the gracious hosts. Along with them, three other lovely friends joined us this morning.

The games were great, not embarrassing or obnoxious. One game we were all given decorated clothes pins. I picked a word (drink) and when anyone said it (or a derivative) who ever caught them, got their clothes pin. The one left with the most pins won a prize. I was the worst about it, saying "drunk" and "drinking". It was clever and kept us on our toes!

The next "game" everyone had submitted a memory of me and I was to guess whose memory it was. They were all thoughtful and fun, and I tried to reciprocate by sharing a memory of them. The best memory hands down, was sent in by my mom who didn't come. She wrote such a touching heart felt remembrance of the day I was born, I was blown away. She kindly sent in baby pictures too! I took this photo of all my memories I got to keep! Wasn't I a cute baby?!

The next game was the "newlywed" style game that I have now played 3 times. So one would think that I would be better, but I sucked at this game. One question was about comfort foods. I answered tacos for me and Mac and cheese for Fi, he answered with the same two foods, but assigned to the other person. Really, I had no idea Mac and cheese was my comfort food!?!

I then opened gifts and I received such kind thoughtful gifts. My favorite (no offense to anyone else) was the cross-stitched piece made by Jenn, see below. She also gave me a Road ID, which made me cry, as for the emergency contact it said "husband". Man nothing makes it more real than seeing "husband" laser etched into a road id!

Of course the day wouldn't have been complete without favors! The hosts presented us all with these adorable little buckets with candy and a paper flower to plant and grow our own flowers!

As an added touch, the ribbon was personalized with my name and the date!

This shower, was exactly what a shower should be, in my opinon. I felt loved and celebrated. I was surrounded by the women in my life who mean the most to me. It was a morning filled with laughter (and a few tears, happy ones), love and a bit of relaxation before the big day! Thank you Thank you!

Frugal me

2008-09-26T11:37:00.002-07:00

The best decisions I have made regarding money and the wedding was insisting on putting deposits down when I did.

My caterer and our venue were the only vendors that requested I put down a deposit to save the date. Everyone else was lax about it but I pressed the issue. Not only did this satisfy my OCD tendencies, it locked me into a great rate.

My DJ, for example, has basically doubled his prices since I booked him 15 months ago. My caterer informed me that had I not booked them a year ago, the same meal options would be $7 more/per person! Between those two vendors we are "saving" $1700!

I am sure as we shell out too much money on too many vendors, Fi would not consider me frugal, but I am pretty pleased with myself!

Table-scapes!

2008-09-25T08:56:00.007-07:00

Jenn and I went to the Z last night, I gave her a tour and I paid a few vendors, then we headed over to visit with my linen lady.

I brought a variety of the paper flowers we had made and we played dress up with the tables. My original choices for linens were ivory with a "honey" accent with the runners. But after talking to Amelia (the linen lady) a few weeks ago, she suggested copper runners with ivory.

This weekend Jenn, Mel and I will bundle the bouquets and wrap them, then a few days before the wedding we'll pass them off to Amelia, who has the vases and glass rocks for the bottom of the vases.

We ultimately decided to put the candles just off of the copper runners, as to not start a fire to the historic home that is my venue.

I think the copper is a great choice!

The napkins will alternate ivory and copper. I so pleased to see my humble idea of using paper flowers come to fruition and actually look good! We initially made enough flowers for each bouquet to have 8-10 flowers, but since we will be having fewer tables now, we can have as many as 13 flowers per bouquet with will only look fuller and lovelier (in my opinion).

Input taken

2008-09-24T11:28:00.002-07:00

I removed the last post, as an email came in from a friend/reader that made it crystal clear to me....and as she pointed out, I knew the decision all along.

So thanks for the help those of you who commented, voted and emailed.

The florist has been contacted and another corsage and boutonniere have been ordered.

Gratuitous Ring Shots

2008-09-24T07:57:00.003-07:00

Fi's ring came in the other day! So we had fun playing photographer.

Our sets together.

Not intential on my part, but I love that I captured the bottle of wine in the background!

Here, you can read part of the engraving: "Elephant Shoe, Jenny Rabbit"

Nice!

The Pole story

2008-09-23T13:19:00.003-07:00

This is not a story about a stripper pole class ala GoLightly, nor about That Bride's husband to be (couldn't help myself!) but rather a cautionary tale my Fi came home with last night.

We were laying in bed watching the Office (season 2) and Fi pauses the disc the, shuts the computer, turns to me and says- we need to talk.

SH*T.

Then he starts rambling about Cesar in his office who was back from vacation yesterday. Fi asked Cesar about his vacation and Cesar said it was nice. Cesar asks about the wedding and Fi says its coming together and its in less than 3 weeks. yadda yadda.

And I have no idea what this means to me. Because this is how I explain my day to Fi, through recounts of conversations or blogs. Fi, well he usually says "it was fine, I had to work on Project X and I had a hot dog for lunch". We communicate differently, and that is cool- but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why the need for such detail- now!

Then Cesar tells Fi that about 3 weeks before his own wedding, his Fi, Angela was so stressed out that while she was driving she hit a pole. Fi expressed concern for my own stress levels (which made me more stressed and made me cry- AGAIN) and asked that I do my best not to hit a pole.

To which I responded by asking if Cesar had mentioned that Angela was only stressed out because Cesar kept forgetting to complete his to do list?

Fi didn't like that so much.

But this morning as I drove to work, I thought about being in the moment and not working on table seating as I usually do while driving.

So from Cesar to fi to me and now to you...may we all avoid poles while driving.

J Crew Update

2008-09-23T09:15:00.002-07:00

Update: As of Saturday J Crew sent me a statement via email saying my gift card (which was my original refund medium) had been charged for the amount of the second purchase. But my bank account showed nothing. However, as of today I have received a refund to my account.

I still feel J Crew owes me an explanation as to how my credit card was charged after I read off the gift card number to the representative and she read it back to me. I also am disappointed in how this whole situation was handled. But I have my money back and that's all that really matters.

Panic Attack Monday

2008-09-22T15:00:00.002-07:00

Thought I forgot about Panic Attack Mondays didn't you? Well I did, until today.

Fi's ring arrived in the mail. It is pretty and shiny and a perfect symbol of our love.

But sheesh, it sent me into a bit of a tizzy.

This is really happening, eh?

Taking stock

2008-09-22T11:25:00.002-07:00

Nothing really puts your life in perspective like having a wedding. You make your guest list and it is impossible not to count how many on your side and how many on his side. You make out a shower guest list only to see that you have fewer friends than you thought. Then to have responses come in and see "your" side dwindle dramatically or to have four of your friends throw a shower that only 4 other people are attending....well it ain't easy.

I am confident in my friendships. I feel good about myself, but to see it on paper like that, well, it just makes me a feel a bit sad. However, I spoke to my mom this week who is visiting her roommate from her freshman year in college. That means they have been friends since 1963! I asked my mom how their visit was and she said "oh, its just like we saw each other yesterday" even though it has been maybe 12 years since they saw each other last.

That gives me hope and more confidence. My pal Amy, my bff since 1991, I see her once a year and it is like what my mom described above. Just like yesterday. My Tucson bff, matchmaker Mel, she travels a lot for work and we don't see or speak to each other as often as I would like, but it is always just like yesterday.

If I can give future brides out there one piece of advice, it would be not to focus on quantity and lists and numbers. But rather, take this time to relish what you have. So on Saturday when I am at the world's most intimate bridal shower, I am determined to receive the love from my friends who are there and not worry about numbers.