holla!

Hey homies....just a quick post about a baby.

I held a baby last night. He was gorgeous, 2 months old, fat and happy. My woman-parts did somersaults and my heart melted.

And then the inevitable conversation started. When? When will we have them?

Someday not too long ago the "if we have kids" turned into "when we have kids". Around that same time I turned into that girl. You know the one who talks about getting off the pill (check), taking vitamins fortified with folic acid (check) and has the plan (check).

But how did we get form "if" till "when"?! Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I decided that I am ready or want to. Yet today, I had an email conversation about the book I read about breast feeding. Come on self! Who reads a book about breast-feeding IF you are unsure how you got to WHEN.

Me, that's who. I think I am just riding along. But how do you tell your husband, that you want to learn to swim first, and you want to have a bikini-fab body first and that you want to go to Disneyland and ride rollar coasters first and you want to run another half-marathon first, visit your 97 year old grandpa first, go to Europe first, go to graduate school, go back to Napa, write a book, learn Spanish, take cooking lessons.....first- before a baby.

But then I just think of that sweet little baby squeezing my finger tight last night. And I see D$ sitting holding the baby and my woman-parts do cartwheels this time and graduate school doesn't seem that important anymore.