A gathering of ideas, rants, reflections leading up to the big day

Monday, March 31, 2008

A quick recap

I will post more in detail (with pictures) later, but I had my first shower this weekend. My amazing sister-in-law to be hosted the shower and made a wonderful event! She made a quiz game "Jennpardy" and had prizes and favors for everyone! I was blessed to be surrounded by my family and Fi family. I met all my FMIL friends and they were incredibly generous and kind to me.

MY FSIL had a craft set up for my incedibly smart neice to do for me. Lucy made a collage for me using all the scraps of wrapping paper from the shower.

I am still in "showershock" and look forward to going through all the gifts (whew!) again tonight and starting on thank you notes this week!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Photo game!

In honor of my earlier post this week. I googled "Mother in law"

Luckily for all involved, this looks nothing like my FMIL.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A new dress!

I bought a new dress for the shower on Saturday. I love this dress and have been eyeing it for weeks on the Ann Taylor Loft website. I think it may double nicely for some engagement pictures as well as a nice dress for work and play! It is very comfortable. They were out of the size in Petites that I needed, so I went ahead and got it in regular, so it is a little longer on me than in the picture. I am really looking forward to the shower on Saturday and now that I have a nifty new outfit, I feel more at ease!

Monday, March 24, 2008

In a state of constant disappointment

The Fi and I had a quick visit with his family. We stayed Saturday night with his folks and we had a nice visit. However, lately all of our visits have been peppered with questions from my FMIL:
"will you be having a ring bearer?"
"what kind of cake will you be having?"
we aren't having cake.
"when in the reception will you do the bouquet toss?'
Im not tossing a bouquet.

I feel like I am constantly disappointing my FMIL. I try to explain to her why we aren't doing certain things. Like with the ring bearer...we know no young boy whom we want to include. and guess what? If I didn't have a niece, we'd have no flower girl either!

But the things I want her to focus on and be happy with, she glides over like they don't matter. We told her for the 100th time that my uncle will be marrying us. She asked why we weren't having the Best Man (who was ordained ONLINE do it) rather than my uncle who has been a pastor for 40+ years and has made this not only his profession, but his passion.

I should just be pleased that she cares about the wedding and I know she cares about me. I just wish that she would take the time to get to know me -really get to know me, we'd be good friends I know we would.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Today's photo Game

As the NCAA basketball tournament starts today, I am more focused on my bracket and running my office pool than on wedding planning. However, it was a year ago that FI proposed that we throw a party (his endearing way of asking me to marry him). Yippee! What a fun and strange year of engagement it has been (I'll save that reflection for another post).

So today I googled "fall wedding" since thats what we'll be having. And as usual I post the first picture that comes up. This is perhaps the best photo yet!

If the gold dress wasn't enough, I really love the guys crawling behind them. Not to mention the bottle of booze in the groom's hand! Not sure if this was just a photographer stunt, or a wish of the bride & groom to have this photo taken.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Photo game

Todays game. I typed in "wedding reception " into google image search. The first image posted was:

This is like the exact opposite of what I think of when I think of my wedding reception. Please feel free to click to enlarge to see the sleeve thingies hanging from the ceiling. What is their purpose?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Inspiration board

EDITORS NOTE: Okay, I took out the picture of me in my dress. Fi doesn't have the link, but he is a nosy bugger, so this is my new inspiration Board! edited 3/18

I have made a few inspiration boards for the wedding. Themes, colors, photos and ideas that inspire me and tie together what I want my big day to be. Then I saw a fitness inspiration board and decided to make my own.

In honor of the 1/2 marathon I ran yesterday (yikes!) here is my fitness board:

Top row: me running my leg of the Tucson Marathon relay, a healthy well-balanced meal, no-smoking sign

middle row: a bridal boot camp book, me & Fi hiking, the KU football coach who is bigger than the orange bowl mascot , South African beach

Bottom row: food pyramid (I need to eat more veggies) and Jennifer Aniston (I'm still on team Aniston! Look at those arms! yum!)

I know that I am healthier now that when I met Fi even though I was 30lbs lighter then. I know that he loves me no matter what size. But I need to find a balance to the skinny mini I was when he met me and the healthy woman I am today. Who doesn't want to look fabulous on their wedding day and be the fittest they can be.

I've tried Atkins (thats how I got to my skinniest weight of 124) and South Beach but my cholesterol was high. I've tried Weight Watchers with no success (I can't count points). Most recently the best luck I have had is moving and counting calories. So starting today (again) I am on my wedding weight war! I am going to move everyday. I am going to have 5-6 small meals everyday incorporating slim-fast protein shakes for breakfast and lunch. I will eat more fruits and veggies. My goal is to loose 10 lbs by Memorial Day weekend (this is less than 1 pound a week). After that I would like to maintain that weight till the wedding.

Once a week I will do a little weigh in in my blog...a little extra motivation!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

After the wedding.

Sometimes I forget that the wedding is just a day. One day in a whole cacophony of days I will spend with FI. We are not only preparing for a wedding but a marriage. We (okay- I) get so bogged down crunching numbers and guest list A, B & C and looking at flowers that we forget that this is ONE day.

We are lucky to have such great examples of marriages surrounding us. Our parents are still married. Mine just celebrated 42 years and are not only still in love but are best friends. Fi's have been married for 36 years and their compassion and friendship shines through.

We have great friends that have great relationships and show wonderful examples of marriage. Our friend’s marriages range from 40 years to a few months. We don’t know anyone who doesn’t appear to have a great marriage.

I do know that my parent’s marriage hasn’t been perfect and I do not expect perfection in my own. Fi and I have been together for 5 years in May (ridiculous!) and our relationship has not been perfect. We have been flawed, I have been selfish and he has been distant. But we have been honest, true and forgiving. We have also allowed each other to become more of ourselves. Fi has enabled me to take more chances and do things I never believed I could. Knowing that he believes in me makes me think anything is possible. This, to my surprise has made me a stronger person, not more dependent.

I also am aware that throughout our 5 years, Fi and I have have reached places together and some times separately. I clearly reached the “I want to marry you” level before he had mastered the “dating but serious” level. And heck, even when he beat Donkey Kong or whatever and reached the same level as me it still took some time for us to move forward. I now realize I had made a decision to wait. For him. Obviously I don’t regret that. But I know in our marriage one of us will reach a level before the other one. We are making a commitment to wait for the other to catch up.

I recently found out that one of my youth group buddies from high school was divorcing her husband. It was her decision. She decided not to wait anymore. They were not on the same level and she made the decision to move on. This allowed me reflect about my levels…my life goals and how they relate to Fi. Bottom line is that with out compromising myself I will wait. And I believe he will wait for me. We are aware that there are some levels that won’t be around forever (i.e. the baby level) and that when faced with that opportunity we are going to either have to jump on together or skip it- together.

We are two seperate beings and like Anne Morrow Lindbergh so elequently put it:

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

I believe that with all the examples of love and marriage we have around us and the faith we show in each other that we will have a long loving marriage. One level at a time. We just have to get past the "wedding day" level together!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Today's photo game

Just like last time: I type in a word into google image search. First image that pops up, I post here.

Today's word: Groom.

Today's picture: Priceless!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

ooh a pretty pretty invitation!

This weekend we received our much anticipated invite to Fi's Best Man's wedding. Mike and Selena are getting married over Memorial Day weekend in Fla (yay mini vacation!). Selena is of Indian heritage so I am excited about the wedding. To see the sights, learn new customs and lets face it, eat the food. I love Indian food! However, we are so clueless, I am worried I'll be like Michael Scott in the hilarious "Dwaili" episode of the Office!

The invitation arrived and it was the most ornate invite I've ever received. Beautiful purple envelope! The outer envelope (not photographed) and inner envelope are made of that paper/fabric hybrid so we had to use scissors to open it! I was so excited to open it, Fi and I actually got into a fight! I was so curious to see all the pretties!

The inner envelope, folded over itself. The bottom border is a beautiful silver embossed pattern. I love the silver sparkles!

Look at this beautiful detail! On either side of the formal invite was this beautiful couple gazing at each other.

Sorry again for all the white out. But take a look at the lovely pearl-like sheen the paper has. The quality was so nice!

Here is the whole package!

Next, what to wear?

7 months, a few thoughts and a picture

Today we have 7 months until the wedding. My to do list is still overwhelming and starting to seem silly to me. Do I REALLY need colors? Can't the girls just show up in pretty dresses and stand by my side?

Fi's Grandpa is back in the hospital and not doing well. This makes me sad on many levels. I am also sadly reminded that my own Grandpa, in good health at 96, won't be able to come to the wedding, the travels would be too hard and too far for him. I am also reminded of our many friends and family who wont be there because they've gone too soon. sigh.

And finally a picture. A shout out to my pal, and yours- Ben. He googles an image like "fun" and the first picture is the picture he posts. I've had a lot of fun with this! I googled "bride" and this is the first picture that came up!

The caption said that the gentleman holding his head was accused of killing a Russian Bride! odd huh? Funnier to me (not that killing is funny) is that I have googled "bride" on 4 different computers and have gotten 4 different pictures. One was a NSFW picture of a "lady" in a veil and white lingerie. Which now I can't find at all (but not that I want to spend too much till looking for an image of a scantily clad woman). What kinda racket does google have going?
Seacrest out.

Monday, March 10, 2008


I recently emailed a major retail catalogue chain, inquiring what their fall colors are going to be. They quickly (like within hours) emailed me back with the color swatches for the fall. Good news, the swatches are beautiful and would make lovely bridesmaid dresses. The bad news, they don't come out till August/September which means full price dresses. Sorry for the tiny photo, but the swatches are shown below.

I really love the Deep Peacock as well as the Kelly green. But I believe a shopping day in Phoenix is in order, with 2 out of 3 bridesmaids in attendance!

Saturday, March 8, 2008

My invitation

Nope, not wedding invites! An invite to my shower in a few weeks! My lovely Future-SIL and my FMIL ordered these and sent them out to family and Phoenix freinds. (sorry it's all whited out, but you know, I don't think I'd endear myself to my FSIL if I put her address and phone number on the internet!)

My FSIL, who is also a BM said she picked these invites because of the color scheme! I love it.

My favorite part of the invitation is the host info: "Given with love by the Blank Women". This is so exciting and so very generous of them. I do feel loved by my FSIL, FMIL and new Aunts and cousins. Everyone can use more love.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

My readers get what they want!

I am not a big flower kind of girl. I love grass and trees and flowers in nature, but not big on cut flowers.

However, I have a few ideas of what I want in terms of bouquets on the big day. Pretty, smaller, pretty, not too fragrant (I have a sensitve sniffer), not heavy (due to my bad elbow) and pretty.

I love this first bouquet because of all the greenery and succulents involved. Although it looks waaay to heavy for me and awfully large. (Courtesy of the knot)

I love the scale of the bouquet. Very small, but still incorporating the greenery and colors I love. The photo is from Weddingbee and I apologize, but I cannot recall which Bee this is!!

An article from Portovert (the green wedding magazine which is inspirational, although not practicle at ALL for a mid-range budget gal, let a lone a budget conscience bride, but that is a different post all together) gave some great ideas about how to be green with your bouquet and I loved this picture. Again, a smaller scale bunch.

And finally, courtesy of Mrs. Apple from Weddingbee. I love the splash of color and the simplicity of the bouquet.

No matter what I choose I have a lovely ribbon to wrap around the stems in my family's Scottish tartan! And there will be no bouquet toss!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Wedding Lull, Mountain High

I've been taking a bit of a wedding hiatus. Although there is still much to do. The top of my to do list: Get wedding finances in order. I have so many numbers in my head and know how much I have spent, but I need to get a handle on what I need yet to pay for. I need to get my refund back from the City, now that I won't be renting from them, and hand that money over to another vendor.

The great thing about the Z, is they have a list of recommended vendors. This is great because you can make a decision if you want to use them or not. Also, they "hold" any day the Z is booked for their services. So, if I decide to use a recommended vendor, I get first pick. The down side to this, is that I have been LAZY about securing some final vendors. Like my bartender and florist and a handful of others.

My goal for March is to 1. update my financial spreadsheet and 2. secure my final vendors. And when I finally accomplish these two goals, I'll feel like this: