A gathering of ideas, rants, reflections leading up to the big day

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Year Resolutions

I always always make resolutions! This year I resolve to follow through on my resolutions. For 2009 I only have three.

1. To run everyday. Crazy right? I read this article a few weeks ago about a man who runs everyday and had for years. There is a group of runners who streak (not strip, but streak): U.S. Running Streak Association - to become a member you just run continuously 1 mile everyday. I already run 3-4 days a week for at least 3 miles at a time. So now, I'll just bump it up to 7 days a week- at least one mile.

I ain't going to lie- I am a bit skeptical of this goal. For one thing I have lost my love of running. I used to LOVE to run, I took pride in my weekly schedules and enjoyed getting up early on Saturdays to get a 5, 7 or 12 mile run in. But my spirit was broken. I ran a crappy half marathon and took a new running class that made me feel bad about me. But in the midst of all that, I still ran- and coached. Coaching? I love. I love getting new runners involved and interested in running.

I do recognize one of my recent downfalls has been relying on others. For months I have only been running when I have another person to run with. So this resolution will break me of that habit and help me remember why I love running to begin with. I fell in love with running because it allowed me time for me. That sometimes gets lost when running with others. I have a few running buddies, that after the first mile or so, we can just run and be quiet. I like that. We encourage when we need, but we fall into step and just run. But I will have someone to report to. My former running buddy Kristen moved to Denver, and she is going to do this too. So, I won't be going it alone per se, just I'll be running many days alone.

The reality of time is easy. I just have to get up a half an hour earlier on Mondays and Fridays. Although it doesn't take me a half an hour to run, this will give me time to get ready, get out the door, stretch and run. The other days? Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturdays I have appointments to run already. Sunday? I just will run when I wake up!

So after this lofty goal I still have two more resolutions:

2. To be more glass is half full. I am a negative Nancy, a Debbie downer, a complainy Janey...in 09- no more! D$ will call me at work to say hi and typically I spend 5 minutes bitching about my boss or something. He gets annoyed at me because he just called to say hi and that he loves me and I am not receptive and cranky. Well no more! My rose colored glasses are on, my negativity will be lifted!

3. Finish my dad's socks. In August 07, my pal Monica and I took our second knitting class together. We decided that we would make Christmas socks, she for her son, me for my pops! One lofty goal that was- but we both completed our projects to the elation of ourselves, each other and the recipients of our socks. Then in January my dad sent his socks back, there had been a discrepancy in the measurements and I made his socks too big. So I promptly ripped one sock out, down to the heal to start over.....and that's as far as I got. So, in January, I will pick up the socks again and forge ahead. The first time around it really sucked a lot of time and energy out of me- but I was planning a wedding! This time, no wedding to plan and D$ will be taking a few classes this spring, so I'll have many evenings solo and weekends when he'll be studying. I am not setting a time goal for these socks, but hopefully I can get them to my dad in the fall (they are wool) and still have time for other knitting projects!

So, whew! What about you? What resolutions are planning?

Monday, December 29, 2008

Whew- redemption!

D$ and I rematched with Trival Pursuit on Friday night (exciting Friday, no?!) and I beat him hands down. Finally all the random answers I knew came into play! Now he keeps putting off another game..but I am confident I will reign supreme!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Marital Advice- already!

Can I offer some marital advice not even 3 months into my marriage?

Trivial Pursuit is not the best game to give your husband for Christmas. You may know that you are smarter than him (cause you are). But he will kick your ass and it won't go over well.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Honeymoon with my honey

I have no energy to blog about the trip. I am working 10 hour days, trying to get ready for Christmas, interviewing for a new job (shhhh!) and coaching again (Golightly, I owe you a schedule!)...my life is full, happy and busy. I promise soon I will give a proper recap...but for now, how about a few photos?

I learned to love RUM!

In our room in Tamarindo, CR!

A Tamarindo sunset.

Golden Gate Bridge

In Napa after the third tasting of the day!

Card Swap!

I participated in the second annual Brooklyn Bride Card swap. I thought I'd post photos of the cards I sent out, and when I get my five cards in, I'll show you those too!

I followed an idea from Martha Stewart, which I can now no longer find. You may recognize the paper from when I participated in the Valentine's Day card swap in February. I just can't bring myself to go back into a Michael's since the wedding. Let's call it post-traumatic stress. So I used my red, beige, brown and pink paper to make these tree cards.

For the front, I layer tree-shapes to add some dimension to the card.

On the inside, the cards pop up! I had fun playing with not only the "styles" of trees, but also how far out they would pop.

Can you see the depth? This is actually an easy process. With an exacto knife or razor, cut two parralell lines from the fold in the card. Then bend the lines the other way, glue tree to your "stump". Repeat.

mmm. trees.

I've already received two of the cards, so when I get them all in, I'll post them!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


I was tagged by Linda over at Silly Little Mischief to write 6 random things about me...so here are the rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you- Done!
2. Post the rules on your blog - right here!
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself- read below!
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs- um, no.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

1. I haven't used a real alarm clock since October 8, 2008. For 4 days in a row, I woke up anxious about the wedding/family/activities, so I didn't need the alarm. For 3 weeks I was on honeymoon and when we did need to get up early I used my running watch which has an alarm feature. And everyday since then, I've used my running watch. D$ and I like to think we are still on honeymoon since we don't have to wake up to a real alarm clock!

2. I work in the fundraising field, development as we like to call it, yet am afraid to make "the ask". I can't and will not ask an individual for money. I feel guilty asking people to sponsor me in the Race for the Cure. I have made the ask a few times in my career and it leaves me ucky and guilty for a long time. (to clarify, I do "back-end" giving relations: direct mail, telemarketing, online, etc)

3. I swear like a sailor. I drop the "F-bomb" like nobodies business. Not just that either. I can't make it through a conversation without spicing it up. Horrible habit. I tried to quit once for lent...I said the f-word ten minutes after I quit.

4. I am a cluttered person. My desk, my car, my nightstand, my dresser, my purse. But 9 times out of 10 I know exactly where something is. I just can't get rid of the clutter.

5. I'll be spending my first Christmas away from my parents this year. I am a bit bummed, but D$ and I have a wonderful time planned and we'll see his family on Christmas day. I will miss my dad and our late night drinks and chats in front of the Christmas tree. I'll miss our last minute runs to the store. I'll miss wrapping gifts with my mom in their bedroom watching some re-run show on tv. I'll miss putting bows on the dog's head. But, I'll wake up in my house, next to my spouse and we'll open gifts together.

6. Although be very loud, outgoing and vivacious...I am extremely introverted. I enjoy being alone and often look at awe at women in their 40's, 50's and 60's who are single and happy. If it weren't for D$, I'd be one of them. If I am not with D$, I'd rather be alone.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Something to think about

Hmmm. We met with Chris the photog extraordinaire last and discussed how to use our "engagement session". We basically forgot to take our engagement photos. Nice.

So Chris suggested a Trash The Dress session. I'm all over it, but poor D$ said "what about all the money you spent on the dress?" Yeah, yeah, but now I really want to hike up Sabino Canyon in my dress. I want to go tromp around town and in dive bars in my dress (wait, already did that!). So now I have to either convince D$ that selling my dress is a lost cause and do the TTD, or just do a nice tame photography session with my husband.

(On a side note, we picked out the style of album we are getting, now we just have to narrow down our pictures!)

Monday, December 8, 2008


I have something to confess. My wedding dress is balled up in the corner of my den.

I look at it sometimes. I inspect its damage (broken boning on the right side, all of Tucson's downtown dirt caught in tulle and silk), I smell the silk and I play with the beading. I try to get out the knot from the corset undone, still with no avail. Mainly I ignore it. Tossed aside like a shirt from Target rather than the most expensive garment I'll ever own.

I don't know what to do with it. I don't know if I should clean it and think about selling it, or donate it or keep it. I SHOULD clean it. But that is expensive and not something I want to do right now. Cause if it is clean, then I have to make a decision, right?

Like some brides before me, I'm not attached to my dress. It served me well, I looked good, it held up well....but if I sell it, will I some day regret it? If I keep it, will I regret that too? It already is a season old, how long will it be in style? And where will I store it? Ugghh.

Advice? Offers to buy?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

oy vey

Hang in there with me reader(s). I have lost my blogging mojo although I have a few more things to finish up on before I figure out where to steer this little blog.

We have bridesmaids gifts to discuss, the honeymoon, some other details....and then this little wedding blog of mine is kaput.

D$ and I have been busy nesting, dealing with a mysterious illness and just folding back into our lives post wedding. We celebrated our first holiday as a married couple! We are meeting with Chris, our photog extraordinaire, next week to discuss albums and such. We've also been busy writing thank you notes, which I am pleased to announce we finished in less than 6 weeks (a reminder we were gone for 3 of those weeks).

So, I'll be back with some blogs soon...I promise!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Little Things!

I about jumped out of my chair this morning when I read Introverted Wife's post about the annoying things her husband does!

I had a suck -ass day yesterday, so nothing in the world can make me happier than making fun of D$ and telling you what he does to annoy me!

He always, always has eye-boogers. He is like a cocker-spaniel in that regard. I can't stand to look him in the eyes when he has eye-boogers, therefore I am constantly telling him to wipe his eyes.

He likes to watch tv in bed. I HATE to watch tv in bed. In fact we only have one tv in our house and it is not in the bedroom. Instead he sets up the laptop and watches shows online or iTunes. I like to read in bed. So I go to bed about 9:30 and read for 30-45 minutes, fall asleep, he swoops in watches a show. It works for now, but as we are using some of the cash we got as gifts to buy a new tv AND get cable (I know, I know) I fear there will be more tv in the bedroom.

He has questionable table manners. I have fine table manners, when need be. My table problem, to be perfectly honest, is that I tend to eat with my mouth open. I broke my nose 3 times in about 18 months. This will make it difficult to breathe through your nose, so eating was hard...I ate with my mouth open. It is a habit I have found hard to break.

But D$? That man belches at the table, doesn't know what utensil to use, never puts his napkin on his lap...and the most irritating thing: he moves the dishes around. My paternal grandmother was super Victorian, she was a throwback, so when we had Easter dinner at her house, the china came out, fine silver...the works. When we go have Easter with his family, paper plates baby, paper plates. It was drilled in me that water glasses go here, dessert spoon here. He sits down and automatically moves his glasses and pushes his plate to the side. Don't get me wrong, when we eat at home, I belch at the table too, I get casual, but as soon as we go out, I like to follow the rules!

Okay, there you have it. What about you? What annoys you about your significant other?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Groomsmen Gifts

D$ wanted to do something a bit different for his groomsmen. He has been in at least 5 weddings since we've been together, and he knows his groomsmen were also familiar to the circuit. So the standards were out: cuff links, money clips, flasks, key chains, beer steins, pocket watches and ties were overdone and out- at least for us.

So after months of thinking, D$ just got gifts for the guys. No need to make them matching or complementary.

For my brother who is a cook, we got him Larousse Gastronomique, basically a gourmands bible. If you love to eat, drink and cook I highly recommend it.

For Ben, we got him a copy of Hello Wilbur! which seems odd, but for 4 seasons Ben was the Arizona Wildcats mascot, Wilbur and is featured in this book! He also got a new U of A t-shirt.

Mike, the bestman received a gift certificate to his favorite Tucson restaurant. I ran over a few days before he arrived and purchased it and D$ met him at the airport to pass it on. He had told us that he was looking forward to taking his wife back there, as the early months of their courtship were spent in that restaurant. Easy, done!

Because all the gifts were different, they were more personal to each of the guys!

Monday, November 17, 2008

A bit of a follow up

A few of you have asked about my brother. I had mentioned briefly in a previous post that my middle brother and I were estranged. We haven't spoken since last Christmas. Prior to the falling out, he had agreed to be one of D$'s groomsmen along with my other brother. Needless to say, he bailed and for a long time there was a question about if he would even attend.

In the end he came, with his wife and my two adorable nieces. The showed up the Wednesday before. They participated in just about everything. When we had family dinner on Thursday, they came. I invited them to every bit of the "wedding weekend". I did not want any blame or accusations about not including them. They came out for a bit to our bachelor/bachelorette party, the the rehearsal dinner and of course to the wedding.

I will not lie and say that it was all roses and kitties. He and I did not speak. He was, to his credit, gracious and generous with his kids. My one niece is only 5 months old and my brother made a point of bringing her over to me to hold and visit often. Their other daughter knew how to say "Aunt Jenn" (she is 2). That was what I needed.

He and orbited around each other, limiting contact. In every picture he is smiling and he did his duty. I would ask no more from him. I know some guests of the wedding have commented to me how unhappy he and his wife appeared to be there. That may be true, but for me and for my parents all I needed was for him to be there.

It is not easy, the time leading up to your wedding. Emotions run high, feelings are hurt. If there is ONE thing, just one thing that I have taken from this wedding blogging community- it has been learning that no wedding is perfect. I know a bunch of bloggers whose parents didn't attend for one reason or another, or siblings missed or tensions were high. This has been the comfort I have received from the blogging community- the knowledge that I am not alone.

I know had he not have come, I would have a lifetime of questions, guilt and hurt to deal with. I'm not sure where we will end up, if we will mend our fences, but I know that because he came, those fences will be easier to mend for me. I am so proud and pleased he showed up, no matter the reasons behind it now. I am happy he was there no matter if he and his wife looked grumpy (and I know that is a reflection of them, not of me). I was happy to see my brother again, if only from across the room.

Friday, November 14, 2008

One of the best things I ever did...

I borrowed an idea from Weddingbee, and I apologize, I don't remember who it was and as I am not going back to the site, I can't look it up. But the idea was brilliant.

Basically I made a business card size handout for everyone involved in the wedding with all the information they needed. I made my cards in Word. I used a blank page, set to landscape and divided the page into 1/3s. On one third a made a BRIDAL PARTY version, on 1/3 I made a GROOMSMEN version and on the last third I made a FAMILY version. When cut and folded, the were the size of a business card- small, convenient....what else do you need! I printed them on card stock to add some heft.

Here is the Bridal Party version:

Schedule of Events
Friday, October 10
11:00 am – Rehearsal at Z Mansion

1:00 pm – Bridal Lunch
Pastiche, 3025 N. Campbell Ave

2:30 pm – Optional, Mani/pedi
Classy Nails

6:00 pm – REHEARSAL DINNER, El Charro

Saturday, October 11th
11:30 pm – Hair appointments
Essenza Salon, 6320 E Broadway

2:00 pm – Z Mansion
Photographs begin, DON’T BE LATE!

5:00 pm – Ceremony begins

6:00 pm – Reception

Bride: 520.
Jenn S: 520.
Melisa: 520.
Amy: 917.
Jaime: 480
Groom: 520

Here is a photo of D$ and Ben at the bachelor/bachelorette party. See the blue cards in their shirt pockets? Yup, that's their groom card!

I loved that the wedding party referred to the cards, used the numbers, called each other and if I was remiss in handing out a card, I was asked "where do I get a blue card?". I was frequently referred to as "the most organized bride"...yeah, I fooled them all!

Brides to be, if you want the template, I'll be happy to send you mine!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A few of my favorite things, part III

Do you guys watch The Office? In the episode called "The Alliance", Dwight asks Jim if he wants to form an alliance. Jim answers: "absolutely I do". Jim, in an aside to the camera admits that whenever Dwight asks him to do something he always answers "absolutely I do".

In a future episode Pam follows Jim's lead. When Dwight asks her to be his secret Assistant to the Manager she answers "Absolutely I do".

So on October 11th, at about 5:05pm, when my uncle asked D$ the Declaration of Intent "D$ understanding that God has created, ordered and blessed the covenant of marriage, do you affirm your desire and intent to enter this covenant?" His response was "Absolutely I Do"

And my response:

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

shoot, it's happening

Last night, as D$ and I celebrated our monthaversary, we enjoyed a bottle of wine we picked up on our Napa leg of our honeymoon. We watched Monday's episode of "How I met your Mother". It was a funny episode, as always, but this particular episode Marshall and Lilly think about having a baby.

Watching this show, I literally felt my uterus jump for joy. I can have a baby now with no societal implications. I won't be unwed! Except we aren't ready. We may never be ready, and we know that, but right now we really aren't ready.

I feel like one big stereotype. Wedding is over, so now let us nest and have babies! Let me just put my apron on and kick off my shoes while I'm at it.

I am dreading Thanksgiving, dreading that we will be surrounded by D$'s family who have no filter when it comes to personal questions. They had been asking us for years about marriage and buying a house and now it'll be about a baby.

We have it mapped out, we have a timeline, we have a plan. But when did it become socially acceptable for co-workers, in-laws, friends to ask us about these plans? When you ask us about buying a house, what you are really doing is prying into our financial situation; and unless you are writing my paycheck, how much I make is none of your business.

So for now, society at large...let us now bask in the glow of our successful happy wedding. Do not remind me about my age, or tell D$ about how interest prices are low. Trust me, we are well aware.

(once again, I step off my soap box)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Wow..time flies when you have a 3 week honeymoon! I can hardly believe a whole month has passed since we exchanged our vows. And what a jam packed month it has been; between our travels, settling back into work, the election, friends birthdays, family births...we've had a lot going on!

One of our favorite wedding gifts was from my parents dear friends Karen and Rick. We received this beautiful vase (in a blue box!) from them just before the wedding.

At the wedding we received a card from them with instructions. We are to fill the vase with flowers on the 11th of every month. This month was on them, so we received a beautiful bouquet this morning. December I am responsible for flowers, January is D$'s turn.

I am totally stealing this idea from them in the future. It will start a new tradition in our house and guarantee that in this busy first year of marriage we slow down and remember each other!

Monday, November 10, 2008

A few of my favorite things, part II

Portraits....I have to admit, as much as I LOVE my photographer, I hated taking photos. Chris made me growl, twirl, pose in poses that are unnatural to my make-up as a human being and look off into far away lands.

Although I feel like I look horribly uncomfortable in most of my portraits, here are a few I adore:

I felt really silly taking these photos, but Chris was right, my eyes do look amazing, if I do say so myself!

We took like a gazillion "Jenn kiss D$ and now Jenn look at me while D$ kisses you" shots...and I guess for good reason, they are super cute!

Um, yeah. I bought this dress cause I got curves and it shows them off well.

We had a bit of help getting my veil to flip up like that. Chris's assistant would run up, flip the veil till the wind caught it, then run away...until this happened.
All photos courtesy of Chris Richards.

Friday, November 7, 2008

A bit of a bummer

The only part of the wedding weekend that I was unhappy about was the Bridal luncheon. I had envisioned something different than what it was...but all in all it was fine.

I had hoped to speak about everyone at the table, I had hoped to be eloquent and grateful and graceful. I had hoped that my expressions of love would flow from me. But instead, I cried like a baby whenever I tried to speak and I was tired, hungover and cranky from the bachelorette party the night before.

I *hope* that for everyone but me, it was a good time. I hope they felt what I wanted them to feel, I hope they enjoyed themselves. Me, not so much.

I am sad that I feel this way. I know I need to let go and move on, and I will. I just want a do-over, you know?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Please, just vote

I don't care who you vote for. Well sure I do, but just exercise your right.

And know your rights. In Arizona, you have to show id, if your address on your id doesn't match your registered address YOU DO NOT NEED TO FILL OUT A PROVISIONAL BALLOT. You just need your official election materials (at least 1), a utility bill (cell phone counts!) and your id.

If you have falsely filled out a provisional ballot, please follow up, please do what you need to do to make sure your vote counts. Do not listen to the polling workers, they don't always know everything, you are responsible for knowing your rights.

(steps off soap box)

Saturday, November 1, 2008


I was tagged by Not Just a Military Wife to post eight random things about me. I'm going to change it up a bit and list eight random things from the wedding! (Although Jenn may have already written about some of these thing!)

1. We had a hot dog cart. It was supposed to be announced and D$(my husband) and I would feed each other hot dogs ala wedding cake, but a few guests jumped the gun and we just ate our hot dogs normally. Well I guess if you consider eating a hot dog wrapped in bacon while wearing a wedding dress normal!

2. One of my favorite moments was watching my niece and flower girl Lucy dance away on the dance floor. The dessert buffet was announced and she ran, full speed to the buffet. But it was like one fluid motion: dance, run. Too freaking funny! My brother and I just stood there laughing at each other!

3. My dress kicked the shit out of me. The next day I had bruises from where the boning dug into me and chaffing on my back from the silk. Seriously, I was sore for two days and bruised for a week. you can see in this picture that my dress revolted. Nice shelf, no? Whats up with that and how come no one told me?

4. I don't remember seeing D$ as I walked down the aisle. My dad and I talked the whole time and I looked at Jenn, who was crying, which made me cry some more...but I didn't see D$. I guess our girl crush is solidified Jenn!

5. I forgot to switch my engagement ring to my right hand, so during the ceremony I slyly made the switch!

6. Nothing really went wrong! The florist skipped out before finishing her work, the caterer said we owe them more money, we ran out of wine in 45 minutes (bartender went and bought more), I forgot a BUNCH of stuff, but it was all perfect. I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

7. Somehow, a little dance circle circa 1985 broke out. I had no idea some people could dance so well! Best thing ever, Arturo, from the hot dog cart, he came out to dance! Seriously. The dude I hired to man the hot dog cart, took a little break, came and danced his arse off. I loved it! Isn't he the cutest?

8. Remember M& S's wedding we went to in May? At their wedding, M and S did this dance, and Indian pop thing, were basically you go as low as you can go, and then hop....yeah. I did it with M...freaking hilarious. With a beer in hand... wait! Could THIS be why my dress broke?

If you want to do this meme, go on ahead, I am too lazy to try to tag folks.


We had three readings during our ceremony. I picked all three, approved by DH and executed by three people very close to us.

The first quote was from "Gifts from the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. As a wedding gift, my father gave me his mothers copy of the book. She passed when I was 13, but my father and my uncle both assure me that she and I are very similar and she would have loved sharing books and politics (and beer and cigarettes) with me. He shared with me that she read this book at a very difficult time in her life (affairs, marital troubles) but that it helped her. I knew she loved this book, but had no idea the magnitude of support it provided for her when I chose the quote.

This is the quote my sister in law read:

EXCERPT FROM "THE GIFT FROM THE SEA"~ By Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~
When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

DH's uncle read next. A passage form the bible and admittedly overdone in wedding ceremonies. However, for me it was important to include, because it was read at my parents wedding 44 years ago. 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Finally, BM and Matchmaker, Melisa read my favorite relationship quote ever. It was read at a friend's wedding 2 years ago. I always cry at weddings, but I balled when this was read. I knew, if I married the man sitting next to me, I NEEDED this read at my wedding.

Union by Robert Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way.

All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –This is my husband. This is my wife.

Powerful stuff, no? All three readers blew us away. The love, the emotion that came forward from them waved over us.

Friday, October 31, 2008

A few of my favorite things, part 1

At the rehearsal dinner, my family gave a few toasts. The most memorable for me, was the toast given by my dad.

He and I share a bond, a strong love for each other. He exposed me to music, writing, poetry, love of the arts, food and most of all sports. We share a passion for Shakespeare, so when he paraphrased from King Lear I wasn't too surprised.

I wrote a mini-thesis in college about King Lear, and my father and I discussed it daily. I compared myself to Cordelia (the youngest, favorite child- without the incestial overtones) and he, my King Lear.

My father, in his toast, paraphrased Act V, scene 3 when Lear tries to talk Cordelia out of marrying:

so we'll live, And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh At gilded butterflies, and hear poor rogues Talk of court news; and we'll talk with them too,-- Who loses and who wins; who's in, who's out;-- And take upon's the mystery of things, As if we were God's spies

My dad said to me that he can not ask this of me, because he sees how happy I am with my man. For a moment, I thought of dumping Fi and running off with my dad.

On a funny note, Megan Fox of Transformers fame, stayed in the room my parents had, just the night before...and she has the gilded butterfly quote tatooed on her back. How about that?! My dad is still telling people that he shred a bed with Megan Fox (hangs head).

wedding recap

Our pal Ben, who stood up for my man left this recap of our wedding on his blog. Hilarious.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

From honeymooner to house wife in 2 hours

We are home. Lovely, lovely time indeed. I am so overwhelmed I don't know where to begin. Jenn did a fantastic job recapping for me! At the time, I was upset with my florist and pissed off at a few people (escort cards are not a suggestion people) but even in the moment I was calm (I think). I couldn't be happier with the final product, I am so amazed that it just came together. We have heard nothing but positive feedback from friends and family, its been so nice.

My only regret? I had nothing borrowed. I had a few people who were supposed to be bringing me back up old, blue, and borrowed stuff. But I never had anything borrowed. So I can either give back a handkerchief that was my something old, or stretch and say that my make up was borrowed, even though I paid for the service.

The honeymoon? awesome. It took a couple days (or weeks) for me to learn how to let go again. My Dear Husband (DH) woke up every morning in Costa Rica with me saying "so today should we boogie board first, or should we walk on the beach first? Which way should we walk? To Playa Langosta or into Tamirindo? Should I have mango today or papaya?" I was annoyed with my need to plan and make order, I'm sure he was ready to slap me. But as the tide rolled in, and time washed over me, I finally let go.

As I get settled into real life again, read my 477 items in google reader and finish laundry I'll be back with some recapping of my own!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Reception: Part 2

Shortly after the Father-Daughter Dance, El Guero Canelo Sonoran hot dog stand arrived, and a mild form of chaos ensued. You would think the guests hadn't just eaten a full dinner and desserts the way a line formed at the back gate of the Z!

(courtesy of Peggy Hazard)

And, as it if were planned or something :), the Mariachi band arrived and started playing! The festivities just kept going, and it was like a second wind had taken over everyone in attendance!

(courtesy of Amy Hughey)

And what's a wedding reception without a little dancing?

(Courtesy of Todd Tosseth)

All in all, the wedding was exactly what I think a wedding really should be. It was about the couple sharing their special moment with family and friends. It was about the couple celebrating how far they've come, while still looking out into the future for what is yet to come. And it was a damn good party!!

I'm so glad that I met Jennifer, and was able to be such a big part of her wedding! It truly was such a wonderful weekend, and I hope I got all the important things across during the last few weeks as "guest blogger." :)

Thanks for reading these posts, and I'll be handing this back over to Jennifer, who should be back at it very soon! To those brides who are still working your way up to the Big Day, congratulations and good luck!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Let the party begin!

By the time the couple re-emerged from the photo shoots, the guests were seated at their respective tables. And speaking of tables...

(courtesy of Peggy Hazard)

(courtesy of Peggy Hazard)

The tables were fabulous, don't you think? Of course, I'm a bit biased since the centerpieces were a third my doing. :) Jennifer and her groom made their rounds during dinner, which was a delicious buffet catered by Blue House

"Sole Sisters": Jennifer with fellow runners (courtesy of yours truly)

Following the dinner, of course, were the Mexican pastries from La Estrella Bakery. Various empanadas, conches, and Mexican wedding cookies were spread out on the dessert table topped with more of the paper flowers we arranged, and the Day of the Dead cake-topper that she and her groom picked up in Mexico.

Father-Daughter Dance (courtesy of Amy Hughey)

Ahh, and then the Father-Daughter dance.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Post-Ceremony Photos

[Note: All photos in this post are courtesy of Chris Richards]

Immediately following the ceremony, the guests followed the couple out to the front of the Z, where the photographer took a big group picture of everyone. I'm still amazed at what a wide-angle lens can do!


Next, while the guests mingled at a cocktail hour by the bar with delicious hors d'oeuvres, the ceremony site was converted into a reception site, and the newlyweds, bridal party, and family members went off to take another round of portraits. And what a delightful round of portraits they were!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Ceremony

The guests were seated. The mothers walked to their seats with small bouquets. The debonair groomsmen and groom took their places next to Jennifer's uncle who officiated. The bridesmaids in their gorgeous kelly green dresses walked down the aisle and took their places. The beyond-adorable flowergirl smiled on her walk up to join the bridesmaids.

The Father and the Bride (courtesy of Chris Richards)

And a stunning bride descended the stairs from the balcony, arm in arm with her father. To be honest, I don't remember much of their walk past me down the aisle as I was busy wiping away tears and trying to stifle my sniffles.

During the ceremony (courtesy of Chris Richards)

The ceremony was poignant and wonderful. Various readings were made by one of the groom's uncles, Jennifer's sister-in-law, and Mel. I could feel the love and fond memories coming from each of the readers as well as the officiant, who also officiated at both of Jennifer's older brothers' weddings. There was laughter, there were tears. There were vows, and then there was a marriage.

Woo hoo! (courtesy of Chris Richards)

Monday, October 20, 2008

Pictures Worth Thousands of Words

In order to enjoy as much of their own cocktail hour and reception as possible, the bride and groom opted to take many of their portraits and other photos before the ceremony. It also helped with the lighting, since the ceremony started at 5 pm, and the sun sets here around 6 these days.

The Groomsmen, led by the Groom (courtesy of Chris Richards)

Next, it was off to the Tucson Meet Yourself festival, happening just over a block away from the Z. This festival was the reason the couple couldn't get married at their favorite Tucson building, the Courthouse, so it was apropos that they went and took some pictures there, amidst the crowds, food, and the beauty that is their beloved Tucson.

The Bride and Groom (courtesy of Chris Richards)

Smooches in Presidio Park (courtesy of yours truly)

On our walk back to the Z, we heard the bagpiper warming up. This was it -- it's time to get married!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

I inturrupt this guest blogging

I know, I know! I am on my HONEYMOON for goshdarnits...but I can´t stay away!

Costa Rica so far is lovely, even though we are beeing pounded by two hurrican systems, everyone assures us, tomorrow it´ll be beautiful. I off for a massage today and hopefully a walk on the beach!

Adios Amigas!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Getting Ready

The Big Day started ominously cloudy, with rain throughout the morning and early afternoon, all around Tucson. As scheduled, the ladies in the bridal party as well as Jennifer's mom met at Essenza Salon at 11:30 to get spruced up.

The bride at Essenza Salon (courtesy of yours truly)

After Jennifer was ready -- looking gorgeous already with her hair and makeup done, her veil in her hair, and wearing one of her dad's button-up shirts -- I drove her to the Z to start settling in and getting ready for pictures at 2. On our way downtown, it started to sprinkle. While we were in the Bride's Room after the rest of the bridesmaids showed up, it started to pour. The owners of the Z came in and gave a quick weather report, and a summary of what would be done if the rain was here to stay.

(courtesy of yours truly)

After Mel and I got Jennifer all snug in her beautiful wedding dress, the rest of us got ready, and the photographer started snapping away!

Pretty Bridesmaids, and adorable Flowergirl! (courtesy of yours truly)

While Jennifer got some bride portraits taken, the girls helped me get some odds and ends done, like laying out the escort cards and guest book.

Escort cards, alphabetized by Jaime, beautifully arranged by Amy. (courtesy of Amy Hughey)

Family photos honoring those who could not make it to the wedding (courtesy of Amy Hughey)

The flowers were delivered, and they were gorgeous. Jennifer's bouquet in particular was special. Cream colored roses, succulents, and wrapped in Buchanan family plaid -- it was truly unique.

Beautiful Bride's Bouquet (courtesy of yours truly)

By this time, the sun was out, and the streets were drying up. Things were getting set-up out in the courtyard as an outdoor wedding. Everything was back on schedule and in plan!

Let's Start at the Beginning

First of all, I am very happy to announce that the photographer sent a few teaser photos to Jennifer, and she forwarded them on to me so that I can share them with you, her beloved readers! Yes, she forwarded them from Costa Rica. Yes, I told her to get back to her honeymoon already. Anyway, some/most of these pictures will make it into the blog in the near future, so that's exciting! :)

So I'll do this in parts, starting with, well, the beginning. :) And for all intents and purposes, that was the day before the wedding: Friday, October 10th, 2008.

The rehearsal was held at the Z at 11 am, and everything went smoothly. It was a beautiful Tucson day. The owner of the Z gave us a few guidelines and schedules, and the bridal party ran through what they were going to be doing on the big day. But you know all that, since most of you are fellow wedding bloggers, right? :)

Following the rehearsal, the ladies of the bridal party (plus yours truly :)) were invited out for a Ladies Lunch at Pastiche in Tucson. What a wonderful lunch, and wonderful company!

Then, most of us went our separate ways, some of us to go get manis, others to go rest up for the rehearsal dinner, which was at El Charro in downtown Tucson, right across from the Z!

The rehearsal dinner was fantastic: fantastic food, fantastic people, fantastic toasts, fantastic evening. It was nice for the couple to spend some time with family and close friends before the wedding, and for the extended families to meet and mingle.

This picture just may be the last picture of the couple before they tied the knot -- and what a great picture this is! I think their smiles exude their excitement of what's next: The Wedding!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Hi, everyone! I'm Jennifer's friend Jenn, and as she has already mentioned, I will be here as her guest blogger while she and her new hubby are traipsing around Costa Rica for the next two weeks, as well as the following week, while they explore San Francisco! I'm a little nervous about the hype Jennifer has built up, but I'll do my best. ;)

A little bit about my relationship to Jennifer: I met her through a women's beginner running class here in Tucson in January '07. I think she's mentioned that she coaches a running class once a week now -- that's the same class! We now coach it together, which is very cool. I don't know how many miles we've run together by now... thousands?... but every mile has been memorable with her! After she got engaged shortly after we met, talk naturally gravitated towards wedding planning, which I was eager to help out with. And of course, that culminated in this past weekend's festivities! I was very honored to have gotten to share all of the bridal party fun and help out on the day of the wedding as an informal coordinator. It was a fantastic wedding!!

Anyway, I just wanted to put up a quick post to let you all know that I'm here, and excited to do some guest blogging for Jennifer. I don't have any pictures from the photographer or anything, but do plan on dishing out all sorts of information on the wedding weekend throughout the next few weeks, complete with pictures that her bridesmaids and I took! Sorry for the short posting for now. :)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I did it.

There was crying, there were Sonoran hot dogs as a late night snack, there was a wedding crasher and it was the best. day. ever.

I'm hoping I get a few teasers from my photographer tonight or tomorrow- but until then- here is this photo courtesy of Jenn.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

I'm getting Married today!


I've been up since 4:30- just awake and thinking. I hope I can make it through the day. My love for Fi has not waivered and I have not questioned it once during this process- but man am I a bundle of nerves today.

I'm not sure if I am hungry or nauseous. I am sleepy but can't go back to sleep. I keep trying to convince myself that today is any other day, but my stomach is not agreeing.

I know what I am doing today is not unique. Society has given us this tradition and I am playing my role. That role is so ingrained in me, that if necessary I can just act it out. But I want to be present and I want to be calm and I want my stomach to help me out a bit.

So in a few moments I am going to put on my running clothes and meet my dad for a jog. Then he and I will meet up with my mom and go have breakfast together. Then the day begins.

I'll see you on the other side!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Guest Blogger!

You all remember Jenn right? Well she has agreed to do a bit of guest blogging while I'm away for 3 weeks! I'm going to leave the posts up to her, but hopefully she'll be able to share some details and some photos with you all until I get back.

We leave for our honeymoon on Tuesday and I know our fabulous photographer sent Ellie some teaser shots the next day, so hopefully I'll have a few of those to post as well!

I'm sure you will welcome her and I can't wait to read what she has to say about my day (no pressure)! She is a great voice to have fill in while I'm gone too, because she has helped with this planning every step of the way.

Thanks Jenn!

Wedding Twins unite!

Before I forget- I want to give a shout out to my wedding twins!

Emerson and Michael, may your wedding be the love inspired, fun weekend you have planned ofr it to be. I can't wait to read how the music turned out, how your hand selected beer was received, what Michael decided to have engraved on Emerson's ring and to see all the pictures!

Jenna- my wedding twin with the mostess! I wish you and That groom years of happiness together. And look at us now! Two ringless brides planning a wedding that will happen on Saturday! I can't wait to see all your details pulled together, your style and enthusiasm are unmatched in the bridal blog world. May your multi-part celebrations be wonderful, the temple service, your ring ceremony, reception AND home town reception!

In a weird way, I am as excited for my e-friends as Iam for myself. It is a wonderful bond we share, my wedding twins, to have followed the same idea and here we are throwing 3 wildly different weddings. But in the end, it all comes back to love.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

My Turn?

My oldest brother, his wife and my niece travel to see us once a year. They live in DC, so every February or March they head out to spend some time with us in the sun.

So today I left work (for THREE weeks) and stopped by the hotel my brother's family is staying to say hello. I went to the pool to see them, stuck my feet in the hot tub; just like i did in March and February 2007 and March 2006- all the way back to February 2002.

So right now- it feels like a visit from my brother- not my wedding. The came over, my niece fell asleep in my bed and my brother, SIL, fi and I drained a few bottles. Same old same old.

When is it going to feel real? When's it going to feel like my wedding?

While I have a minute

Reflection comes easy these days. I am often pondering my friendships, my support and of course my love for my man. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am honored by my e-friends.

When I started this blog in January, I sent the link to two friends, and then to one more and then some of you found me. I started it for me, as most blogs should be started, to have place to reflect, rant and ramble off ideas. You all have supported, inspired, laughed and e-loved me.

If it were not for this community I have formed, for this outlet I have because of this blog and help I have received from other bloggers, I think I'd be lost!

So from my humble little blog to you...thanks for all the support on this journey!

ps- I am going to try to get a few more posts in before Saturday, so this isn't the last of me! :)

Monday, October 6, 2008

Do we not know what we don't know?

We are okay.

We bought some more liquor and sparkling water tonight.

I just purchased a wedding gift for my Fi.

But I am afraid we are forgetting something. We confirmed with our vendors, we have checks ready to hand out, honeymoon reservations have been confirmed.

So what are we forgetting? I know it is my nature to fret and wait for the other shoe to drop, and for a worrier, a wedding is filled with things to worry over.

The bright side? My wonderful SIL booked us for massages on Thursday. Good thing too as my right shoulder is hard as a rock with tension.


We live in the desert. We are lucky to get 10 inches of rain a year and in October we are lucky if we get an inch. So planning an outdoor wedding in Tucson SHOULD be a safe bet, no?

Our ceremony and reception is outdoors.

Currently the weather sites all give us a 30% chance of rain before 7pm. That blows. Big time.

I know we are still 5 days out, but PLEASE rain, rain go away. Come back on Sunday.

Pre Marriage Counseling

We finished our counseling...and I believe I can speak for Fi and myself that is was helpful.

I'm not sure that we learned anything new or profound, but it was really just nice.

We had previously taken a test and we learned that we are VERY compatible in many ways, and where we differed, there was at least a sign of respect towards each other.

We walked away with homework.
1. To remember that we chose each other.
2. To not assume.
3. To offer respect to each other.

See- not THAT groundbreaking, but nice, no? What a nice reminder that we are good together and that we need to focus on that.

Sunday, October 5, 2008


We've all read them...you know those GAzillion articles and wedding checklists reminding you to get your hair color/cut/facials/waxing a week before your wedding.

Well I implore, nay beg you, to follow the rules.

May my right eyebrow be a lesson to us all.

Friday I had my hair color and cut with my hair dresser extraordinaire. I also had a brow shaping with my usual waxer.

Well the wax was a bit hotter than usual and I have a burn above my right eye. Today looks a lot better today than yesterday and yesterday looked better than Friday. I am confident my eye will heal and there will be but a trace of a burn if anything by Saturday.

But had I not followed the rules...I'd be in a bit of a pickle for the wedding.

A word about---football.

I KNOW I have a few readers who are football fans themselves, so they'll understand.

We planned our wedding in the heart of college football season. We coordinated so that our "home" team was away (ie more hotel rooms, ease for our guests, season ticket holders were sure to attend) and that my alma mater was away as well. A bye week would have been preferable, but we lucked out that MY NFL team has a bye.

But now here we are a week away, home from a HUGE win for our home team and I thought of this: next week my team plays A&M. At MY wedding we will have 4 A& M grads. MY team better win, or I may have to ask all those guests to leave.

I again know, my football lovers will understand..and of course, I WONT really kick them out, but sheesh, that will stink if they win and shove it down my throat at MY wedding.

Maybe we should have planned the wedding for June...neutral territory.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Tips for making your table assignments easy.

1. Know that it will not be easy.
2. Spend way too much time trying to get it done by yourself before yelling at your Fi to help.
3. Ignore the task for a week.
4. Dedicate an evening to it, knowing full well, it will only take a few minutes, how hard could it be!
5. Have fi bring home a bottle of champagne (as a surprise) and drain it of its contents while moving people around.
6. Stand over your dining room table filled with escort cards, moving folks around for 2-3 hours.
7. Awe at your brilliance when you make connections (ie JOE is a doctor and my cousin Susan IS A DOCTOR too, so clearly they must sit together! Duncan is a navy pilot, Matt was in the Navy - table 7, done!)
8. Act surprised when at 11:00pm after 4.5 hours that it took THAT long and bask in your glory of getting all 112 people at 14 tables.

Friday, October 3, 2008

All is good

I just got this email form my FMIL:

We are very happy for you and Fi. It is a parent's hope that their child find true love and happiness in life. We feel that Fi has found that with you. We love you and know you belong in our family. I hope we have been able to make you feel that. FMIL

Well shuks! I'm getting married in 8 days!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Whew..it IS political

The times they are a changing. Weddingbee has been sold to eHarmony.

That blows. You can read about why I disagree with the sale on this post that was written by bees more eloquent than me. I will no longer have a link to Weddingbee on my blog roll, but with permission I will be linking to the bloggers I support.

I struggle with this as a reader and a friend. I consider myself to be friends with a few of the 'bees. I email regularly with a few, I was linked to a few before they made it big with Weddingbee, one even designed my invitations. One, I stalk her husband at my grocery store (just kidding Ellie, only cause I think he stopped shopping near me!). I also feel caught in the middle as I know a few of my favorite bees fall on opposite sides of the aisle.

My time as a bride is coming to an end. I often hear about newlyweds who can't drop wedding blogs off their readers and continue to follow along. I wonder what my free time will be like after the wedding. I wonder what new interests will remain? Will I continue making paper flowers and to be interested in stationary? I do know that I will no longer be interested in Weddingbee. And that makes me a bit sad.

(Waving white flag)

I surrender. I surrendered to Fi this morning when I forwarded him the SEVEN emails from his mom. He asked if he could answer them and I said yes (I think I may have screamed it, but agreed none the less).

I surrender to the realization that I have been a royal biatch to everyone lately, throwing out ultimatums and threats like candy at a parade. My deepest apologies to everyone.

I surrender to this cold/allergies/stress bubble turned into snot that's in my head. I will let go.

I FULLY, COMPLETELY, for the last time, surrender to the idea that at the end of the day....I will be married and that is all that matters.

No one is more disappointed than me, so shut up

Yes, we had a guest list originally of 200 folks. Yes we CUT it to shreds, yes we had 1/3 of our guest list respond that they can not attend. And yes, for the love of all things holy- that royally sucks.

As my vendor it doesn't help you to point this out to me. I am already saddened more than you will know that all these loved ones can't come.

As my future mother-in-law it doesn't make me feel better when you point out how many of my family aren't coming.

As a helpful friend, it doesn't make me feel any better that I ONLY have 14 tables to deal with.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

my favorite wedding task- thus far

I ordered candles for the reception and I received them today. At 12:30 I lit one, just to see how long it would burn. Now 4.5 hours later, it is still burning strong.

My favorite wedding task? Laying on the couch enjoying my day off (after a busy morning) watching my candle burn. May all the rest of my remaining tasks be like this.

License to Wed

I have the day off, thanks to the holiday of Rosh Hashannah (L'shana Tova to my Jewish brides!). I have been running around all morning catching up and running errands. First on the list, get the marriage license.

Fi and I met at the Pima County Courthouse this morning, paid our $72 (prices JUST went up last week!), swore we were who we said we were, signed, sealed and viola! We are licensed!

Beautiful day in Tucson, we love the gorgeous historic courthouse behind us. We originally planned to marry in the courtyard there, but this is happening there the same day.

Our license! Pardon my hair, it was windy!

One last shot of our favorite building in Tucson!