A gathering of ideas, rants, reflections leading up to the big day

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Negative Nancy

Maybe its because I am feeling yucky and cruddy, but I am going to vent today. I promise this will be the last negative post for a while!

My FSIL is throwing me a shower. She gave me a two month window and was kind enough to let my visiting family dictate the date of the shower. I am thrilled an honored by this. When I shared this recently with a friend her response was "isn't this really too early for a shower?" Perhaps, but what would this friend like me to do? Tell my FSIL that etiquette suggests that a shower should be with in 2-3 months of the wedding date. Or perhaps invite my family to Arizona in July or August (2-3 months from the wedding date) and have the shower then. Yup, it'll only be 110 degrees!

What makes others feel like they can comment on my wedding plans? People seemed to be annoyed when I refrain from sharing EVERY detail with them (really, if you are invited, don't you want somethings to be a surprise?) Yet when I do share, they feel they have a right to criticize my plans. And on this particular issue, a shower, I officially have no say! I am honored to have a FSIL who wants to do this, I feel as if I am at her mercy, not in a position to negoatiate. I feel blessed that my SIL and my niece and my mom will be able to fly out to do this.

This trend seems to be a greater societal issue. When did we all become so comfortable nitpicking each other? Boundaries are not what they were.

This wedding has become a labor of love. I have thought about and weighed all my decisions carefully.

Of course, my complaint doesn't apply to things I post on my blog. These blogs are open for comment and I appreciate all opinions and comments that have been posted thus far.


Linda said...

I'm sorry you feel like you are being nitpicked! The shower should be when ever it can be arranged. It's great that your family can fly out for it and that FMIL took that into consideration.
Whenever someone asks a nitpicky question, usually say, well that's what works for us. It bothers me too. But you can't let that negativity get you down.

Monica Surfaro Spigelman said...

Nancy must be from out of town (or such a Tucson native that the 110-degree-plus heat doesn't phase her!) Your future sister-in-law is so nice to hold the shower...please remember - if I have no one visiting and if a visiting friend/family member needs a room, there's a "suite" available for someone! And if anyone needs help for shower prep, please pass along our info! Enjoy all the happiness and excitement that is unfolding....

Jennifer said...

It sucks when your happiness gets overshadowed by negativity, especially when it's not your own!!! Sorry to hear this. If I'm ever like this, feel free to smack me!!

elizabeth @ elizabeth anne designs said...

hi there! i just found your blog via your tag from silly little mischief! i've already added you to my reader. :)

one of the hard things about weddings is trying to please everyone so i completely understand where you're coming from! just try to stey true to what you want and everything else will work out.