A gathering of ideas, rants, reflections leading up to the big day

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Wedding Crash

My mom is gone. boo. We had a wonderful time and I feel like she took up this ball of clay that was my wedding plans and formed it into a beautiful vase. All I have to do is put it in the kiln and finish the process. I couldn't be more grateful to her.

BUT, seriously I am crashing from my wedding. My mom and I really rocked the itenerary added things to the list and crossed them off. We have this whole celebration planned, budgeted and done. Then yesterday evening, we were sharing a drink in Tumacacori with FI and he says to me, lets scrap the whole thing and get married in Tumacacori. WHAT?! Then later last night, when we are again discussing our decisions re: dessert, he says he doesn't want what we have decided on...ie, what I have been talking to him about for months.

Now, I know that he doesn't REALLY want to get married in Tumacacori, but come on dude! And what bothers me most is that I talk to him, I TRY to involve him, I WANT him to be part of the process and for months he has said fine, yes, sure to every decision and last night he says what he really wants is cake. Great, I am glad he wants something and that he has an opinon about something, but couldn't he have told me before I did the math and the research and the budgeting and late nights weighing my options? And what else is he going to come out and say no to after months and months of planning?

I do want him involved and I recognize that this is his wedding too and if I hadn't tried so hard to involve him, maybe this wouldn't bother me so much.


Linda said...

Sometimes I don't think FI knows how much time I've put into deciding things. I try to let him know what I've been thinking and examining options for months before I give him the final options.
Hopefully you guys are on the same page now.

Monica Surfaro Spigelman said...

Your mom is wonderful and a real friend...it is not surprising that you were sad upon her departure. Hope you are better as you swing back into the work week. Even with everything, life goes on and works itself out, if you know what I mean.
Now... don't smack me....but I love the mysterious and romantic qualities of Tumacacori! OK, so no wedding there, but tell me where you got the drink...I only know places in Tubac. Someday I will walk the river route (from mission up to tubac and back.) I've heard that is an easy but interesting "hike" of sorts.