A gathering of ideas, rants, reflections leading up to the big day
Friday, August 29, 2008
For 2 out of our 3 weeks we will be vacationing in Costa Rica. Time at the beach, time by the volcano- everything I need. Relaxation, beach time, adventure, hiking, volcanoes and surfing! Perfect!
For our final week, we will be spending time in the Bay area! I've never been and San Fransisco continues to allude me. We've planned several trips and I never get to go...something always stops me. But we are going!
I love it... love the whole 3 weeks. I can't wait!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
So 2 of the three pieces I really wanted focus on the trumpet. I got online, contacted the University gig list, the local Symphony Orchestra...done. I got a great response back from a trumpeter who is the principal trumpeter for an orchestra in town. Done and done. Then I emailed him the selections I wanted. And he said great, he'd be happy to accompany an organ or a piano.
In my email I specified a soloist and the two pieces I wanted played. Now, I have to find an organist or a pianist...plus the instruments?! Now I am back to the drawing board. I'm not sure what to do about trumpet boy, if i should retain him, or drop him and start over.
The worst case scenario is we have our DJ push play and we listen to piped music. (gag) But between all the other musicians we've hired, I feel like that's a let down. I guess I could have my piper play both the recessional and the processional. But I've always wanted some brass.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I am a bit bronzed, but she really evened my skin out with out caking make-up on. Linda had commented on Make-up trial 1 and said that perhaps my now everyday Bare Minerals make-up wasn't great for photos. Courtney, my newly booked make-up artist confirmed that, as she works a lot of photo shoots. Something with the reflection of the minerals...so thanks Linda!
You have been one of the most wonderful technologies I have known. You take all my favorite blogs and let me know when they are updated. Instead of refreshing on Jumping the Broom every ten minutes, you kindly let me know when it is updated so I can visit the site and read away.
However, you have gotten away from me. The 25-30 wedding blogs I have subscribed to seem to update at an alarming rate. I can not possibly read 50-70 blog posts a day without going a little nuts. I have pared you down. I sometimes do the unthinkable and click "Mark all as Read" without reading.
As this wedding approached in 45 days (choke, cough, choke) I need to simplify. So Google Reader- goodbye. I have stripped you clean except for my few (you know who you are) must read daily blogs. These blogs are helpful to me. They don't taunt me with unnecessary stress and ideas. They are my webpals who are (or just have, or are just funny, or I like to pretend we are real friends) getting married soon too.
I'd like to say that I'll miss reading weddingbee or the bride's cafe, but something tells me I won't even miss them and my head will be a little less cluttered because of it!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The advice: He went and rented his tux, a beautiful two button tux. He also ordered his shirt and tie and vest. Shirt: white. Tie and vest: ivory.
Is this going to look weird? I didn't see it and he said he liked it, but really? Discuss.
Monday, August 25, 2008
1. My piper has hands as big as my head.
2. I have awesome friends who had Fi and I over for a wine party Saturday night even though I had held them hostage and said we weren't going to attend unless it was wedding talk free. It was, it rocked and they gave us a group gift of 9 (count them NINE) sets of our flatware!
3. Melisa got her Bridesmaids dress, she looks gorgeous in it and we went shoe shopping too!
4. The honeymoon is coming together although still not 100% booked. I'll announce when it is.
5. Our menu is set and it is awesome. If you have decided not to come to our wedding you are dumb, cause I am serving some awesome food.
6. Necklace number 2 came (the one with the flower). It is already in the mail back to it's maker. Not right, even though it was the overwhelming winner. Sorry. I'll post pictures soon!
7. We decided on readings. And 2 out of 3 readers. Anyone like to speak in public?
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Well, the nightmares are back and now they are a bit more tangible- although still out there. Last night's dream entailed my beloved hair dresser, Jamie, joining the navy mere weeks before my wedding. The owner of the salon she works for Amy- refused to do my hair. I don't expect that Jamie will join the Navy, but I think the dream expresses my loss of control.
I feel like this wedding is a runaway train and I am trying to slow it down. There is so much more I want to do, but not that much time. I want to drop another 10 pounds, I want to save another $1000 dollars, I want to be more creative and add a few more details. I want to feel more control and I want the dreams to go away. Most of all I don't want Jamie to join the Navy.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
I'm also THAT guest. I'm the guest that has sex in the women's restroom during the reception. I'm the guest that removes my underwear. I'm the guest that cons the bartender into giving me one more drink for the road. I'm the guest that organizes the round of tequila shots, that writes stupid messages in your guest book, who has been seen smoking a cigar and a cigarette at the same time, and who throws the after party. I'm the guest who on occasion has "borrowed" items from the venue only to never return them. I'm the guest that defies the 1 drink/hour guideline your bartender suggested to you.
Now, its payback time. All those brides and grooms from the weddings above will be in attendance at our wedding.
I know I've never ruined any one's wedding or embarrassed them (just myself). The bride and groom who hosted the wedding when I enjoyed the nookie thought it was hilarious and have offered that they will enjoy my wedding like me and Fi enjoyed theirs (more power to them)! One couple has said to me on many occasion that they hoped every guest enjoyed themselves as much as I enjoyed myself. So you see, there has been no love lost or any feelings hurt.
I really do hope that everyone enjoys themselves as much as I've enjoyed myself at countless weddings. It'll just be weird to be on the flip side...and who's to say my behavior will change once I'm the bride! ;)
The above map shows all the states that our invitations were delivered to (not shown: Russia). Here is a breakdown by number of invitations (not people):
every other state, plus DC: 1
So that's 18 states, one District and one international!
What's most striking to me is I lived in Michigan for 5 years (ages 8-13) and there is no one from MI invited. 13 is a hard age to hang on to long-distance friendships and my parents just weren't that close to anyone there. Most of our good friends live out of town too, so about half of the guests invitide from AZ are Fis famly and his parents friends.
I'm a very visual person, so it is fun to see where our invitations went to!
Monday, August 18, 2008
From JC Jewelry Design, also on etsy.com. Then along came this. Pretty. I love the bit of bling, the sense of sass. But will it slip all day long? Does it go with my wedding style? Something keeps drawing me back to it, it may be the price, under $50.
As a reminder...here are my pretty earrings from Perfect Details.
So what do you say? Use the poll feature at the top of the page...let the games begin!
By now you have received my beautiful invitation. Please take all the time you need to admire the beauty of the invitation. But you know that small little card? You know the one tucked into the envelope I addressed to myself and pre-stamped for you? Just fill out and drop it in the mail.
I made it really easy for you. I paid the postage on it. I already addressed it. You received a save the date from us in January, so I'm sure by now you've made up your mind if you can come. So just write in your name and let me know. Because right now we only have 8 people attending and that really sucks.
By the way, I appreciated the email/phone call/ facebook message you left telling me how effing awesome our invitations are (I know!) but that doesn't excuse you from mailing in the response card! So what do you say? I feed you an awesome meal, ply you with drinks for a weekend...but in exchange you pony up and mail me back my response card- NOW!
Thank you very much-
an impatient bride
(yes for those of you paying attention...its only been a week since I mailed the invitations, but I'm really impatient!)
Friday, August 15, 2008
Have you ever known someone who is a grand plan maker? Well that's my Fi. I would make a educated guess that only 38% of his plans actually come to fruition. And 95% of those only happen because of my pouting. Fi is a big thinker...always a has a plan to hike the Grand Canyon, or take a road trip to Baja, or to go see U2 in Dublin (we completed 2 out of three of those plans).
So when I hear that Fi has a plan, it is usually greeted by a "yeah right" from me. But yesterdays plan? It was grand.
We are going away this weekend! We are taking advantage of the 180 degree heat in Arizona and the hotel deals that come with it. We scored a suite at a resort in Scottsdale for $71/night! The plan for the weekend according to Fi is to research and book our honeymoon and to finalize some wedding details. Fi has now begun referring to this weekend as our "wedding retreat".
I am so impressed by this plan. Fi hasn't been an absent groom, but he hasn't been particularly hands-on either. A few of our wedding plans are his idea, so he is involved in the decision making and "vision" of our wedding. But for him to want to buckle down- to get away from the everyday- and focus on us and our wedding and honeymoon, well I'm in love with him a little bit more.
So I hope to report on Monday about our menu choices as well as our honeymoon! Have a nice weekend!
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Two Short Haired Brides!
This is one half of a same sex couple from Brooklyn. Both rocked the short hair, sans veil. (As seen on Brooklyn Bride, images by Daniel Krieger)
Similar to my own wedding look, except she has much fuller hair! From brides.com
Again, from brides.com
Another birdcage, I love the look!
I hope this helps! I know there are a ton more short haired brides out there, you just gotta look somewhere other than the Knot for inspiration. Here is a link to a post on OffbeatBride with other photos of short styles (more alternative hairstyles).
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I notice that people treat me with kid gloves (or is it kit?) and sooth me as though I am about to explode. THIS frustrates me. I am not a bridezilla, really I'm not. I feel like I spend all my time defending myself to my friends: I am not picky, I am not freaking out, I am not going to bite your head off. I receive words of encouragement and pep-talks, like something bad is happening to me. Unless you all are plotting against me...nothing bad is happening, something wonderful is!
The fact of the matter is, yes, I do get stressed easier than oh, say, a year ago but I am taking things in my own two hands. I am eating well, getting enough sleep. I am working out, practicing yoga again and focusing on things other than October 11th. I have always been the glass is half empty kind of gal, but I am working - putting serious effort into seeing that glass as half full. So don't bring me down. I am trying to mindful of others and how I speak, act or treat them.
So please, do the same for me. Take off the gloves, stop tip-toeing and start treating me like a human being again.
So without further ado, our invitations. I borrowed these images from the LimoncelloSTYLE blog, so that I wouldn't have to blur out personal info. Miriam already changed all those details (except for my first name, for which the design is named after!) for her use. So all photos by Miriam, courtesy of LimoncelloSTYLE, please credit her if you re-use them.
The whole shebang. Beautifully copper lined envelopes, invitations wrapped with copper wire and then backed with a yummy, sparkly paper, and the response cards with hand-drawn copper lines to reflect the invitation.
And a close up of all three pieces.
A close up of the invitation (names have been changed to protect the innocent!). I really love them. I love the touch, the feel, the added texture. The thickness is perfect and the green font of our names pulls in the kelly green accents and the bridesmaids dresses. I love the simplicity of the contrasting font.
I can't wait to see these in my mail box! For the envelope I used the same font for my address and then used a boring Liberty Bell stamp, but remember, I was born in Pennsylvania. Yes a stretch, but true none the less.
So, worth the wait, no? Do you love them as much as me?
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I have been attending a Presbyterian church in town, and found a Pastor that is cool and that I like. Pastor Steve agreed to help us along with our counseling and any ceremony planning too. So today we met with Steve. Steve is cool and comfortable and I think Fi liked him well enough. We chit-chatted a bit and then got down to business. We took a test, we had to fill in bubbles and everything. We took a test from Prepare-Enrich to start with.
160 questions about finances, sexual issues, spirituality, family planning, our families, feelings, how we fight, how we make up...Fi and I both chuckled at the end because we haven't discussed finances. We have, but we have no plan for after we are married: joint accounts, separate? We haven't a clue. So at least the test pointed that out!
So Steve will mail in our tests and after a few weeks (ACT flash backs!) we'll get our results. We will go in to meet with Steve and discuss the test and how we "scored". Hopefully, if things are all good, we'll be done in a few sessions.
One thing I observed while taking the test is that how far Fi and I have come. There were a few "division of labor" questions regarding household chores and future parenting. Fi and I have been together for over 5 years and have lived together for 4. So we have already divided our labor. Fi does the kitchen, I clean the bathroom and vacuum and together we keep clutter down and do laundry. We split cooking evenly throughout the week. I coach on Tuesdays and have track on Wednesdays- he makes dinner. When Fi is in school, I pull a heavier load because his educational pursuits are important to me.
Same with the spirituality questions. I have faith. I'm not sure how to explain my views or beliefs beyond that. I have faith and I appreciate the sacred. Fi doesn't have faith and to his credit isn't false about it. We had a moment, maybe 3 years ago that will always stay in my memory. We were sitting on the back porch looking at the gorgeous sunset over the Catalina Mountain range which is our backyard. I said something like "looking at this makes me believe in a god, in a higher power" I was blown away by the beauty of it all. Fi looked at me, I mean really looked at me and said "you have faith. I do not". And that was it. That defined our differences. Since we were able to find our differences, we are able to come to an understanding. So when I came to a question about our faith differences, I knew we were okay.
Early this morning I read a post by my favorite non-wedding blogger Golightly about engagement envy. I had it bad. We've seen 6 couples meet, begin a relationship and get married in our 5 years together. I always wondered about how people viewed me. They always say when you know, you know. And we did. We knew that we are meant together for a long time. We never broke up and we continue to grow. But as I took this test this morning, evaluating us- our relationship...I learned that right now is our time to get married. We've figured out our chores, we figured out our faith differences. We know how to fight and lord have mercy we know how to love each other.
I walked into this pre-marriage counseling unsure and kind of annoyed by the task. But shoot, after 1 session, I am hooked. More importantly I am confident in my relationship and love for my Fi. That's a nice reminder 60 days before the wedding!
Note: A funny side note. After our session, I took my engagement ring and wedding ring in to be appraised (finally). So I came back to work with no ring on. My co-worker freaked out and yelled "after one session you broke it off!?!" :)
Monday, August 11, 2008
I mailed my invitations today.
These two nuggets combined equal Panic Attack Monday.
Let us focus on some positives:
I have lost 6 pounds!
I have all but 3 invitations mailed (photos this week, I promise!)
I have all my table decorations made!
We are making progress on our honeymoon planning (take 2).
I get to watch Michael Phelps every night.
I did 55 push-ups this morning.
I had a relaxing, non-wedding related dinner with my running pals last night.
I had a wonderful phone call with my mom this morning.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Emerson and Michael are having a wedding (same day as me) just because. Their love isn't recognized by our nation, but they are throwing a "kick-ass party" to celebrate. Their post "Why Get Married" should be required reading for every heterosexual couple fighting over colors, guest lists and in-laws. They have reminded me of the importance of this tradition and why after 5 years, it is important for Fi and I to recognize our love and commitment.
I know there will be those of you out there that disagree with Emerson and Michael and their lifestyle. You will disagree with me about loving their blog or accepting their union. I am not asking you for approval or for your dissent. I am just sharing with you a blog that inspires me.
As brides we often look to other blogs for inspiration about escort cards, centerpieces, favors and style. Isn't it time we start looking to each other for inspiration on life and love? I think so. And when I need that inspiration, especially as these next two months fly past me in a blur of activity and tears, I know that I will look to Emerson and Michael and remember why I'm getting married.
This weekend is the (maybe) last flower making weekend with Jenn and Mel. We have made almost 200 flowers and this weekend we'll knock out another 50 or so. However, the main purpose of the weekend is to assemble and mail the invitations.
These two ladies have hand addressed 75 envelopes for me! In between work, running, business trips, and my demands on their time...they have all the envelopes done! (save for the 4 pesky addresses were a waiting on) So while they have been addressing, I have labeled the response card envelopes with my address on clear labels using the same font from the invitation and stamped those. I have also hand written numbers in pencil on the back of the response card itself, just in case some one forgets to put their name! Tomorrow we will make note of which number goes to which person, stuff the beautifully handwritten envelopes, stamp them and I'll take them to the post office and maybe they'll let me hand cancel them!
They should be arriving in peoples mail boxes early next week! sheesh. I'll post pictures next week once the invitations have reached our guests.
I've been working on an escort card idea, and plan to unveil it to the girls tomorrow for their approval or ideas.
This weekend, my future in-laws will be in town. Fi and his dad will be going to rent their tuxes tomorrow morning. Fi's dad has never worn a tux, so this will be an adventure for him!
I'll be back Monday with some photos and updates! Have a lovely weekend!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
But (there is always a but, right?) due to some strange family dynamics and issues I will not go into here, my middle brother and I have not spoken for the last 8 months.
He and his family may not come to the wedding and I am okay (really!) either way. My issue is that it took him EIGHT months to tell my Fi that he won't be in the wedding party. Yes, we knew it was a possibility and most likely, but come on, have some guts and be a man. Anyways, after a handful of email exchanges with Fi my middle brother has "stepped down" from his post.
Fi took it really hard. He feels that by middle brother stepping down it is a reflection on him. He feels like people will question why one of my brothers is up there and the other isn't or isn't even in attendance. He wasn't comfortable having 2 guys on one side and three gals on the other (even though all us readers of wedding blogs know its okay and common!) so he felt embarrassed to have to ask someone to step in and participate. These are his feelings and I recognize them, but I do not feel them and couldn't fix them. So for a week or so, we have been struggling with this.
Then last night at dinner we had a breakthrough. Fi said, "so how would you feel if I asked B to be a groomsman?" I said I thought it would be awesome.
The thing is that we had lost control over our wedding and ourselves. We lost control over a detail that had been well thought-out and important to the both of us. We had to grieve through that. We may never fully understand or accept why my brother has done what he is doing. I may always look back at my wedding day and be sad my brother didn't come (or maybe be sad that he did show up). But together, Fi and I got there and we are okay. It was a test to seeing ourselves as a team instead of "my family" or "his family".
So we will not have the wedding party we had bargained for, we won't have the wedding exactly as we planned it, but slowly we are remembering that it doesn't matter, as long as we are together.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
I cry daily.
Sometimes several times a day.
I cried over Linda's wonderful post today. I cried over an email I got from Fi and from his mother. I cry over happy things, frustrating things, silly things. I cry when I hear a song I want played at my wedding. I cried because I just saved us $300 on one of our wedding day surprises. I cry over finances, my dress, my weight. I cry over Fi's frustrations and the issues with our wedding party. I cry over the joy of seeing my best friend in Tucson (she's never been). I cry when I look at rehearsal dinner dresses, my gorgeous hand-made flowers, or my invitations. I cry when I talk to my mom or when I don't talk to my mom. I cry when I think about dancing with my dad. I cry when I think about all we have to do yet. I cry when I find out loved ones can't make the wedding. I cry because I cry too much. I cry when I blog. I cried when I found that picture.
What is it with planning this wedding that has made me such a crybaby?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I feel a difference in my arm strength and hope to see some visual results soon too! Hope everyone else participating had a good first week as well! Wednesday I officially start week 2!
Monday, August 4, 2008
I got some advice from the calorie counting obsessed Jenna, the most profound advice being to think of having a calorie bank account. In her words: Your caloric intake is a like a bank account. When you have money, there are no rules about what you can spend it on, just the rule that if you spend more money than you have, you will incur a fee. It's the same idea with food. Thus, you can eat whatever you want. Brilliant, right!
I also attended a nutritional clinic specific to runners. Because I run 3-4 times a week for an average of 15 miles (and growing) I have to fuel differently than a sedentary person, or even some one who is active, but not running for 75 minutes at a time. The nutritionist also had us think about our hunger and fullness levels in a different way, a way that has worked for me. Think of your hunger on a scale of 1-10. One being starving and 10 being Thanksgiving stuffed. On the scale she recommended that one not get below a 3 in hunger and not above a 7 on the full end. I have tried to follow this at every meal. Sometimes this means leaving half a meal untouched (leftovers!) or being finished eating before everyone else at the table. I have also adopted a few of her other guidelines: no artificial ingredients and more veggies and fruit.
The final bit of advice I received from that clinic that I have whole heartedly adopted is don't measure your weight loss success by pounds alone. Look at inches, measure how you feel, think about energy levels, etc. This hasn't been easy since we are brain-washed to believe that 120 pounds at 5'2" is ideal and until I weigh that I've failed. Well, I will never weigh 120.
Results? You betcha! It has been 4 weeks since the clinic, Jenna's advice and my new way of thinking and I have lost 5 pounds. Today wasn't a great day on the scale, so instead I measured myself. In 3 weeks I have lost 6.5 inches! Awesome, right!? These food guidelines, coupled with running, weight lifting, yoga and my new 100 push-ups challenge will help me not only look good for the wedding, but hopefully stay sane!
Friday, August 1, 2008
So as a "heads-up" I emailed my mom and my FMIL a week or two ago with maybe too passive of an email. I let them know invitations had arrived and my girls were ready to roll out their pretty handwriting. Translation: LAST CALL for address changes.
My mom took the hint, she made one change and bamm, bride's side done. FMIL did not take my subtle hints. I emailed her today with a clarification question and I get 2 address changes back and (ready for it?!) and additional guest! A family of four. Uh uh. No way.
Luckily, the envelops hadn't been done for those few changes, so no harm no foul. But FOUR more people? I very politely reminded her that Fi won't be back till this weekend and we'll have to look at our already tight guest list to see if there is room.
The part that irks me the most, is the reasoning behind inviting them. Apparently Fi mentioned to them we were getting married. He did not invite them verbally, he did not commit, he didn't even hint. Following her logic, all you readers must now be invited. And all my co-workers and my pedicurist and my entire running group, and heck my favorite checker at the grocery store cause sometimes I buy bridal magazines and she compliments my ring.
All I can say is "Oh brother".