But here's the kicker. Fi's last name was in the news many years ago. It is a name that is recognizable for a newsworthy event. A not so flattering newsworthy event.
That is not the reason I am not changing my name. I am not changing it for a variety of reasons. However, here is the common scenario:
Person: Are you changing your name?
Person: What is you fiance's last name?
Me: Newsworthy last name.
Person: Oh, No wonder you aren't changing it!
Me: No, no, that's NOT why.
Person: (dumb look about them)
Me: I'm not changing it due to the fact that I have earned my degree with MY name and because my first name is Jennifer and if you ever had to sit in 7th grade biology as one of 8 Jennifers you'd understand that my last name is my defining name and because I am a feminist (sort of) and I decided in 6th grade not to change my name and I 've been published and I was once ranked as a Scrabble player and even as an adult I work with two other Jennifers and its a hassle and................
Trust me, my decision has nothing to do with his name. It hurts me that most people assume I am not changing it because I am shallow. If I was that shallow, would I even be marrying him?
If we have a family our children will take his name, the dogs will take mine. I am not opposed to his name in any fashion. I just am not going to change mine.
Fi is cool with it, his parents are cool with it (not that if they weren't I would care), my parents are honored by it. But I hate having to justify my decision to people. I want to pull out my diary I wrote in from 1988-1990 and show them my decision as a child to keep my name. I want to show them the school papers in which I changed my middle name to my mom's maiden name so I could be hyphenated and honor my mom. I want them to see that this decision was made before I met my man.
Sometimes I think about changing my name, just to show the world I am not shallow, that I am not embarrassed. But then I remember: I'm not changing it. I don't want to.