A gathering of ideas, rants, reflections leading up to the big day

Monday, September 22, 2008

Taking stock

Nothing really puts your life in perspective like having a wedding. You make your guest list and it is impossible not to count how many on your side and how many on his side. You make out a shower guest list only to see that you have fewer friends than you thought. Then to have responses come in and see "your" side dwindle dramatically or to have four of your friends throw a shower that only 4 other people are attending....well it ain't easy.

I am confident in my friendships. I feel good about myself, but to see it on paper like that, well, it just makes me a feel a bit sad. However, I spoke to my mom this week who is visiting her roommate from her freshman year in college. That means they have been friends since 1963! I asked my mom how their visit was and she said "oh, its just like we saw each other yesterday" even though it has been maybe 12 years since they saw each other last.

That gives me hope and more confidence. My pal Amy, my bff since 1991, I see her once a year and it is like what my mom described above. Just like yesterday. My Tucson bff, matchmaker Mel, she travels a lot for work and we don't see or speak to each other as often as I would like, but it is always just like yesterday.

If I can give future brides out there one piece of advice, it would be not to focus on quantity and lists and numbers. But rather, take this time to relish what you have. So on Saturday when I am at the world's most intimate bridal shower, I am determined to receive the love from my friends who are there and not worry about numbers.


Blue-Eyed Bride said...

good post!

My parents had a list, his parents had a list, I had a list, and my husband had a list. My husband's list was longer than anyone's. He had so many friends there. I had a handful of really close friends there that I got to spend all weekend with. The difference is that I have three girls I can call for anything and he doesn't feel like he can just pick up the phone to talk to any of them. Quanlity over quantity!

Blablover5 said...

I was never really big into having lots of okay friends. Instead I have a handful of really close friends.

So we only have two people standing up on each side for us, so what? They've also not thrown any fits nor have we had to cut anybody.