Moving Day

Alright- I'm doing it.
I love this blog and who knows, maybe I'll come back and post sometimes...but I think this blog is done.

To my blog- thank you. You made wedding planning fun and easy. The thousaands (literally) of unpublished posts saved me from insanity.

To my readers- wow. What a journey we've taken. Thank you for reading, commenting and supporting. I hope to see you here.

xxoo, jennifer

Blog question

This blog of mine is taking a different direction...I'm ready to leave the wedding behind (sigh) and move on to some new ideas. Question: Do I stay here and morph it...or do I leave this one be and move over to a new site- for my new-ish blog?

Discuss.

Traveling fools,part 2

In 8 weeks I've traveled to Austin, Dallas, Tuba City, Arizona, North Rim of the Grand Canyon, Pittsburgh, PA and Denver, Colorado. In the next 8 weeks, I'll add Portland and Florida to the list.

I've flown on 4 different airlines in the last 8 weeks: American (my all time favorite), Southwest, Frontier and US Airways. They all have their pluses and minuses, but I am partial to AA due to all my miles. Southwest has free bag check (up to TWO bags per person), but they always seem to get me down with the open seating policy.

I'm no expert- but somehow whenever I fly SW, I get a nut job sitting next to me. Whenever I fly assigned seating, I get a perfectly normal person.

Case in point:

On my recent travels to Pittsburgh- I had to fly Tuscon to Vegas. I get on the plane, I'm in the A group, so I get on first, pick out a nice window seat and a woman takes the aisle seat. No one in the middle seat (score!). The whole time she is getting settled and what not, she is looking at my feet. Finally she asks "did you bring a lizard on with you?" I said no, pick up my bag, look around no lizard. She says nothing else. weird. THEN, I am emailing or something on my iPhone (before doors were closed) and she says "Oh, you have and iPhone, I have one too". I respond: "cool"- it was 6am, so that was gabby as I wanted to be. She proceeds to pull out a iPhone box - the black on you get when you buy your phone. From it she remove the first ever iPod. NOT iPhone, iPOD. So its huge and no buttons, just a half screen and the wheel on the bottom. Kinda like this- but way older.

She proceeds to "call" someone on it and inform them that we were taking off soon, so she wouldn't be available by phone for an hour or so.

um yea.

Traveling fools

This post is delving into personal thoughts and feelings. Please be kind and remember you are reading MY blog and I am not forcing any of my thoughts or concerns onto you. This post is also very free-form...I am working these issues out.



D$ and I had a great Memorial day weekend. We had dinner Friday with his sister, after dinner drinks with our favorite friends in Phoenix. Saturday we drove North east, to a little "Nation-town" on the Navajo Nation. Our friends are up there doing a medical rotation and it is a great launching points for some of the prettiest spots in AZ, maybe the country.



We went to Lee's Ferry and hiked around the Colorado River, spotted some California Condors, were rained on and shone upon.

Sunday we spent at the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. If you've been to the GC, you most likely went to the South Rim, the North- if you can do it- is less crowded, quieter and just as spectacular. We did a few rim hikes but mostly stood and awed at the sites.

Here's where we get to the nitty gritty. Our friends we visited in Phoenix are Child-free. Our friends in Northern AZ have a 6 month old. I thought I would walk away from this trip feeling a longing for the baby. Don't get me wrong, I held him and squeezed him and cooed at him as much as possible for the time we were together. When he fell asleep holding my finger, I thought I had died and gone to heaven. But then, when he woke up and screamed and carried on...I wanted to shoot myself in the head. And here's the real kicker: He is a great baby. He only cried for food and to be changed. He at six months, is babbling and finding his voice and all I wanted was quiet.

I found myself jealous of our PHX friends who like to travel as much as us and the freedom they are enjoying. I found myself resentful of the baby for hindering our trip. We couldn't do a 10 mile hike, because of the baby. We couldn't go down 4 miles into the canyon because the trail was too steep to carry the baby pack with us.

Last night D$ and I were relaxing on our porch planning our next adventures. Next summer came up and we have a few vacations in the work already. Then I made the comment: These plans are all void if we have a baby. That stopped us both short.

I know there is never a right time to have a baby, right?...there is always something we can argue about: traveling, our careers, housing, blah blah. But there can be a WRONG time.

We aren't making any decisions one way or another. But dear god, there is something so appealing to me about being child-free. Something I never really considered before. And this is where I am scared...once you start doubting your desire to pro-create, can you come back from that?

The one thing I am sure of now is that I owe it to myself and to my marriage to explore these feelings and doubts with serious consideration.

post script. These thoughts are fresh...like 12 hours fresh. They are not fully formed and I am just learning how to handle them. I thought a first good step is to write them out. If you are interested in someone who is decidedly child-free and lays out a wonderful map as to how she and her husband got there read this.

Holy Crap-ola

I know that I'm all married up and stuff that our wedding date and subsequent anniversaries are now the measuring stick by which we are judged, but today- today is our sixth anniversary as a couple.

Six years! In honor of this date, I offer six reasons I love D$:

1. There is not a day he doesn't make me laugh. He even makes me laugh at myself, which is huge. Most weeks have at least one or two moments when I almost pee my pants. And when he really gets laughing, really laughing- he makes this adorable "hee hee hee" laugh. Makes me laugh even more.

2. He is a bad-ass cook. He grills up some meat like nobodies business and yet still makes the most delicate of sauces. He has a pallet that seeks out great flavors ad he pairs wines really well and re-create most any food or drink after one tasting. For a foodie like me, this may be reason enough to love him.

3. He is a good friend. To me, my friends and his friends. He cares about people, remembers birthdays and significant events. He works hard (much harder than me) at keeping up relationships and making sure he keeps in touch with friends. When he sees me slumping into myself, he encourages me to call friends or plan a girl date. He makes me a better friend.

4. D$ works hard. At whatever he sets his mind to. Right now, it is finishing his degree. He'll be done in December...its been a sacrifice in our relationship, but he puts his head down and works hard at it. Same with training for a race, work or a hobby. He has an insatiable thirst for knowledge and he is always learning something.

5. He is easy going. Me? I'm a bit high strung, tightly wound, anxious and fast...D$ is easy going. Calm, not quick to rile. He tolerates my rants and helps me see that maybe I was too quick in my judgment...aka wrong. He can get mad, and when he does- run, but it is for a reason.

6. He is adventurous. He always has a trick, a plan...a scheme for something fun and new. He loves to travel, maybe more than I do- which is saying something and he always is planing our next road trip, getaway, vacation. It maybe just a 2 hour drive for some really bad Arizona wine or a 2 week European adventure- he figures it out.

Thanks friend for the best 6 years ever. I love you.

Desert Living

I heart living in the desert.

I love the cactus, the succulents, the colors that most people don't even know exist in the desert. The last month has been filled with yellows, greens, purples. I love the Sonoran desert I live in, where I can drive an hour to snow, a few hours to the beach, but I can drive 2 minutes and be in a canyon to hike.

But what I truly love about living in the desert....the sounds. Where we live, we hear a variety of sounds: owls, quail, bats squeaking, coyotes, javelina barking, rattle snakes- all from the comfort of our second floor porch.

Last night was a menagerie of sounds. D$ came in to wake me up at 10pm as we could hear a bobcat or Mountain Lion on our roof. Then at 5am I hear a pack of coyotes, um, shall I say dining?! Perhaps on the bobcat from our roof! I have learned to distinguish hunting coyotes, eating coyotes, playful new born coyotes (they learn to get their howl like a car that won't turn over...bark bark how- cough, bark, bark , bark hoooow- cough).

I never fail to wake with a smile on my face when I hear the coyotes. What a nice reminder of the special place I live!

A tad bit of regret

We went to a wedding this last weekend, our first as a married couple. Sitting through the ceremony and reception- D$ and I had a blast and chuckled about our wedding and remembered how much we loved x,y,z at our wedding, but how cool a,b,c was at this wedding.

I have no regrets about our planning or the results of our wedding. Let me be honest, it was bad-ass. I loved it, every minute and would do it all again, no changes.

However, my TucsonBFF got engaged this weekend and I am sooo pleased for her, but filled with regret. D$ didn't ask me to marry him, he didn't get down on one knee. He didn't have a ring. We didn't have a huge announcement, in fact when we called to tell his folks, their phone was out of order, so we told my folks- then had to wait another day to tell his. This after being engaged for a week without sharing with anyone (that part I don't regret!). So I read all 44 and counting comments on facebook and I am bursting inside for her! But also a bit regretful that we don't have an engagement story.

A few inspiration boards

whew...Since I found out 10 hours ago that my TucsonBFF got engaged, I've found and made a few inspiration boards for her.

I know her favorite color is light blue and her style is simple and cute. So here are a few inspirations I have for her. (note, just ideas, none need to be taken seriously).




From Tastefully Entertaining I found this board that was published almost a year ago.

From the great Snippet & Ink I found this lovely board that mixes blue with a flashy yellow. Yum!


And finally, one I threw together myself.

Man, I am pleased to have some wedding planning to think about again- well here's hoping she'll want my help!

Whirlwind weekend!

Hey y'all I'm back from Texas!

A few highlights:
1. I had a dog tour of Texas. As I am not currently a dog owner, it was great that everyone we stayed with had wonderful lovable dogs.
2. I put a 5 month old baby to sleep during the wedding mass on Saturday. Not being catholic, I was eager to hold baby Evelyn (D$'s cousin's kid) during the ceremony, so I could walk around and coo her to sleep.
3. BBQ. We went to Smitty's, which is in the top5 best Texas BBQ according to Texas monthly. Holy cow, literally- it was out of this world good.
4. Tubing we floating down the Comal river with good friends and good beer.
5. One of my BFFs got engaged this weekend! She called to tell me this morning and I couldn't be more happy for her!
6. Reconnecting with family, good friends and more family. D$ and I had a great fun time.
7. Running around Austin town lake...man Austin, if you'll have me, I'm yours!

I'll fill you in more about the wedding we attended, dogs I played with and upcoming weddings soon!

New wedding vows

Every time D$ and I hear a story or go through an experience that points out a flaw or loophole in our relationship, or anther's, we add a vow to our marriage.

D$ had a stupid stupid friend that received a sext (is that what the kids call the dirty pics via text thing?) from a woman not his wife. So we added a vow: no nudie pics from anyone other than each other. Done.

My dad's BFF died yesterday. He was sick and ignored his symptoms to the point of no return. So we made a new vow: fight for each other, even if you can't fight for yourself.

Rick was a great guy. He was funny, loved life and lived hard. I guess that's why he didn't want to fight, he didn't want to be weak. I am going to miss him, but I don't understand if he couldn't fight for himself, how could he not want to fight for his wife? My parents don't understand any better. So last night D$ and I made a new vow- fight for each other, even if you can't fight for yourself.

Between Rick and GoLightly's fight in the hospital I've been really burdened by grief. I have been surprised everyday by D$'s love and support for me. Last night, knowing how sad I was, he made me grilled cheese and tomato soup, complete with a bottle of wine. It is that love, his caring, his support that makes me hope and believe that if I were sick, like on my death bed sick, I would be fighting tooth and nail for him- so that I could stay with him.

These situations have also opened the door on sensitive topics. We talked about our wishes and about our living wills.

Have you added any vows, or any conditions to your relationship?

Updates and donations

If you are reading Pecos Girls blog, you will have seen this update yesterday about GoLightly. Some really great news regarding her functions and then of course a few set backs.

A trust is being set up to raise money for Golightly, she lost her job in January- and with that she lost her health insurance. I have emailed Pecos girl for the info, so I'll be happy to share it with you. I know any bit we can pull together would be helpful.

I hope all of you are well and please keep praying/thinking/vibing/meditating your good juju to GoLightly!

What I've been up to...

Linda inquired about what I've been doing to keep me away from the blogosphere. To answer her question, I've composed a list:


1. My parents came to visit for 5 days.
2. I am running again and now training for a half marathon in June.
3. I received a promotion at work and have been actually working, not blogging from my job!
4. I got and iPhone for Valentine’s Day that accesses my email and facebook, so I really haven’t turned on the laptop at home for 2 months.
5. I have a few ideas about my new improved blog in my head, weekly features, etc. When I have been writing, I have been stocking those up, so when I launch the new blog I will have a few weeks of blogs to pull from.
6. March Madness- I ran the office pool at work.
7. Dieting. D$ and I are fatter than ever. Seriously. Two weeks ago we both hit the highest weight we’d ever been. Since then I have lost 2.5 lbs and he has lost 2. So we cook a lot, walk, work out and talk about dropping weight.
8. Reading. I received a gift subscription to the New Yorker for Christmas. It is a great magazine, full of great contributors and articles. It is a heavy read. AND it comes once a week. Seriously, it takes a lot of time!
9. Gardening. A friend gave me her plant stand, perfect for my containers so I have remembered my love for gardening.

None are great excuses, but reasons none the less. We are traveling next week, but I'll plan to post a few times before we leave.

Happy weekend everyone!

Good Blog Vibes

Hi y’all, I know I have fallen off the blog radar, but I am moving this blog in a different direction and haven’t put all the pieces together yet. (And no, I’m not pregnant).

The main reason for this post, is for support. One of my bestest blog-friends Golightly was in a series car accident a few weeks back. If you read either of her blogs: Tidbits of Drama or
B-squared Bride you’ve noticed some in activity.

All I know is from updates on this blog. Thanks to Pecos Girl for her updates of Golightly! I am so saddened by this, Golightly and I had made tentative plans to go to brunch in 2 weeks, when I will be in Dallas. She was just recently engaged and right in the middle of planning a wedding, her fiance Cowboy was recently returned from Iraq and I know they were really enjoying being together again. Life was perfect, she was at the top of the hill.

I know a few of us have blogged about our blogger friends...and how weird it is to be touched by someone reading or writing far away. But there is no doubt now in my mind that I have a few great friends online (Blablover and Linda this means you!) and my care and concern for them is as great as a friend I have actually met.

I don't know if you pray or meditate or what. But however, whatever you do, please think of Golightly.

Sweet Husband

On Saturday, D$ and I were traveling north to Phoenix and had a great conversation. We were planning some meals and ideas for my parents visit on Wednesday.

He paused and said to me: I'm really happy your parents are coming, I didn't realize how much I missed them.

Wow.

This means the world to me. My parents mean the world to me. I am really close with both of them, and we are friends. Second to D$, they are the people I want to share with first.

I am more excited for their visit because of this! Sweet husband indeed!

Winds of change

Can you feel it? Things are changing around here...so get ready!

Edit 3/17: Nope I am not pregnant, not even trying.

Poem-a-week6

Yikes, we traveled yesterday this weekend and the poem slipped my mind as we didn't get home till late.

This we, I don't have a poem of my own, but rather will share with you MY favorite poem ever.

I have a really strange sense of memory, I never forget a face (or rarely a name) but I can't memorize lines, quotes or verses. For one exception, this poem. I heard it before I read it. The world's worst Poetry professor ever read it, nay performed it for us on the first day of class. Let me remind you, that I was a creative writing major at an Agricultural/Architectural hub. So, there were like 10 of us in class. It was the first day and the professor (who is still "teaching" uggh) got up and recited this to us with such passion and force, I will never forget that moment. Unfortunately, that was the best day of class.

Anywhoo without further ado:

The Lady's First Song by William Butler Yeats

I turn round
Like a dumb beast in a show.
Neither know what I am
Nor where I go,
My language beaten
Into one name;
I am in love
And that is my shame.
What hurts the soul
My soul adores,
No better than a beast
Upon all fours.


Ah, soothes my soul. Whats your favorite poem?

Little things

I was on my way home from work yesterday. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, flowers blooming and I had full intentions to go to the gym.

Then I turned into the shopping center, the one with the over priced pedicures. And I paid too much for a woman to massage my feet and gams for an hour. And paint them fire engine red. And be delicate with my still broken tootsie.

That was way better than working out.

Poem-a-week 5

This little venture of mine is proving harder than I imagined....I'm out of practice of a) writing poetry and b) blogging...but I keep at it.

"Sunday I"

A rumble from the next room-
rhythmic clink and clanks lull my senses
offer me the cadence of a familiar song or praise.

The clink and clanks change,
pricking my ears.
The rhythm quickens,
then disappears
only to fall back into line for a few more moments
soothing me again.

Abruptly, the buzzer sounds.
I go
open the door and remove the contents.
Buttons hot.
A sock still damp as it was turned into itself
perhaps, the heat was too intense for the sock?

A mash of arms, legs, waists and torsos
shaken out onto the bed.
They wait to be lined up,
put away
worn again.

Next Sunday,
next laundry day-
the rumble will begin again.

ton of bricks

I was sitting eating my lunch (curried chicken salad on mulitgrain) and a man walked into the restaurant. We smiled at each other and then I remembered (and he did too) that we had dated. For like a month. And I had no idea of his name.

I moved to Tucson in August 2001. I started dating D$ in May 2003. That means I had 16 months of other relationships and dates and flings in Tucson. And I can NOT for the life of me remember any one of them (okay ONE, but he was a dick and there was law enforcement involved, yadda yadda).

So my mystery date and I said hello and he called me Jenny (which is a sure sign it wasn't a great month, as no one calls me Jenny) and we caught up for a second. Well, as much as you can catch up with a man you dated AT least 6 years ago for a month and whose name you still can't recall.

But more importantly, this encounter made me recognize how complete things are with D$. There is no regrets about the one who got away, Tucson or life before the move here. No second guessing after the wedding, or before. D$ and I are good...and not that I've doubted that- but by running into a man I dated at least 6 years ago and not remembering a detail about our courtship kind of seals the deal.

March 4th

Advice for today: 'March Forth!'

Today isn't just another day.
It's not just another work day or school day or sick day or
"American Idol" day.
Check out the calendar, and consider it an order:
It's March 4th.

So...March Forth! The date is also a command.
A verb.
The only day of the year that literally compels you to action: March forth!
Consider it your personal holiday - use the date to encourage everyone you meet to:

Dream big.
Fly high.
Be spontaneous.
Start now.
Do or learn something new.
Forget past disappointments.
Start a new chapter in your life - TODAY
March Forth!


Bring cookies to work, buy flowers for friends, send cards and e-mails to friends around the world -- people's faces and hearts will light up.
Throw an impromptu dinner party – use the “good stuff” - china, fine linens and silver.
Ditch the NordicTrack and take an old-fashioned hike -- breathe deeply, enjoy the scenery.
Don’t sleep indoors – camp out on the lawn.
Skip the shower – take a bubble bath.
Turn off the TV – read a book.
MARCH FORTH.


It's a wonderful thing, starting over Marching Forth.
Seize the day.
Today, at least, forget the past.
Have fun. Do something new. Amaze yourself, and
MARCH FORTH.


What are you doing today? As we haven't turned on the tv all week- I think we'll keep that going tonight- and since my foot is on the mend, I plan on making my hubby literally March Forth with me, a walk in our neighborhood canyon!

Gardening

I used to have an awesome container garden. Cherry Tomatoes, lettuce, herbs, flowers and lots of lots of native plants to attract humming birds. It was A LOT of work. It is hard in the SW to keep a garden without a drip irrigation system, and apartment living usually doesn't come with a hose to do just that. So I would water in the morning, run home for lunch, and water again in the evening. Then if we went out of town, well...I just gave up.


A few weeks ago I was at a friends after a run (sigh) and she had this amazing plant stand, just what ever container gardener needs. I inquired, she said her husband made it and I could have it! (She had requested a different design, so by giving it to me, she was giving him a chance to re-do it).


So on Saturday I went and picked it up, then headed straight for the nursery to buy some new plants. Here are some results!

The whole stand!


My top two pots. On the left is a native "ice plant" it will begin to creep down the pot! The right, a non-native pretty flower!

I've had this blue-iron Lizard for years, he found a new home creeping up the stand. The stand is untreated, so it will continue to have this lovely rust color!

I need to move on plant into fuller sun, so I will be going to get two more plants this weekend! Yay plants!

Poem-a-week 4

Crap, I forgot to post this yesterday, although I did have it composed.

It's an ode..an ode to my toe:

I can not walk or run
I can't hike or bike
All activities I think fun
all the sports I really like.

My toe slows me down
I have to put all pressure on my heel
Making it hard to get around
walking, standing, crouching or kneel.

All my fun in the sun
is now limited to sitting
I miss my morning runs
and how my clothes were loose fitting.

I wish you well
dear toe of mine
its a matter of time
and I'll be fine.


(see I didn't promise good, just a poem!)

Madoff rhymes with Layoff

Yesterday someone handed me this quote: The brook would lose it's song if we removed its rocks.


Layoffs have hit my work. I am surprised and not. I work in Non-Profit work, and although we DO such great things in this world, it is all at the mercy of the donors. And if donors aren't donating- well we either have to cut programs or staff. I have to hand it to the Executive Council, and the Executive Director, they cut *few* programs, many that can go on hold for a few years, but do not directly hurt the people throughout the world that we serve. (example we cut a continuing adult education program that focused on spiritual journey and not the continuing adult education program that focuses on assimilating those folks who have ended up in our area because of religious asylum. )

And if you didn't get the reference above, I do work for Jewish organization.

Two staff were cut, and that blows. And one- was my boss- the dude I hated seeing everyday. However, my heart breaks for him and his family and I have survivors guilt.

It'll be an interesting few days/weeks/months here till we all get on our feet. How is everyone else coping? Any other layoffs out there?

Staus Report

You may be wondering how I am coming on my New Year resolutions...or not. Here is athe update:

Thursday, I broke a toe and fractured a bone in my foot by dropping a laptop on it. So that running everyday? Done. For SIX weeks. I made it 50 days 95 miles. I am proud of myself, but honestly, I am thankful for the rest too.

The no smoking? Good. I've broken twice now. All D$'s fault. The first break was 2/10 and I smoked 8 cigarettes in a sitting. If you don't smoke- let me tell you, that is a harsh amount of tobacco at one time. I woke up the next day feeling sick, hacking and wheezing- but satisfied. I will not lie, I loved all 8 cigarettes. The second time? last night, I had 2, they tasted gross and I feel even worse than I did after 8. So Even though I have had two relapses, I feel great about my progress.

The sock. No go. I have to go buy some needles this week and I will start this weekend. I swear. I just read this entry about sewing on Linda's blog. I totally wish I could sew, she has sparked a new goal for me...but I feel like I need to finish whats on my plate before I start dessert.

One last Tidbit (pun intended)...my blogging pal GoLightly recently got engaged (woot!) and she has started a new wedding blog B-squared Bride, I am loving already (4 posts in), so go check it out, she is sassy, funny and down to earth. Really, who doesn't love a bride that stops for In -n- Out while venue hunting?

Poem-a-week 3

On Sunday a song from our wedding came on the radio, here is my poetic interpertation to the moment:


We sit in the car
extra 2 minutes after our arrival
hold hands
listen
I cry.

With two words
"heavenly day"
we go back to our day

We sit in the car for 2 more minutes.

Triple A throw down

D$ had President's Day off, but I had to work. He decided he would leave Sunday mid-day and head up to see his parents who live 2 hours north of us. Perfect- he gets the time he needs with his folks, I get some quiet time...deal.

As we were getting ready to retire for the evening, D$ said "oh I got a new AAA card". Turns out not only does his mom carry him on her Costco membership- but also on her AAA membership.

This really irks me for a few reasons. Lets break it down.
1. He is a financially independent 33 year old. He can cover these memberships if he so chooses to.
2. By her covering him on Costco and AAA, it prohibits me from receiving a discount by having a joint membership with my husband.
3. (this one is tricky, hear me out) By covering her children on AAA she is saying "your safety matters"...however by NOT covering me, OR even telling D$ to get his own membership with me- she is implying that I am not as valuable. I really want to know if I am ALWAYS going to be *just* a Daughter-in-law? Will this change when perhaps I become the mother to her grandchildren, or will she just cover their memberships?
4. (I know I'm stretching...) D$ is an adult, he has been an adult for over a decade now, paying rent, car payments, making decisions, getting married. As have I. My parents care for me just as much as D$'s parents care for him. However my parents stopped paying incidentals a LONG time ago. There is something annoying and perhaps controlling about his mother providing him with these memberships.

Or am I wrong. Do your parents still pay for stuff? I know he doesn't ask her for these (I would die if he did), but he isn't that cheap!

I guess what I want is for him to stand up and say I don't want your AAA membership unless my wife is covered on it.

Poem-a-week 2

No Ogden Nash am I, but I *really* thought I was getting a dog for Valentine's Day (I got an iPhone instead!) and so I prepared this poem about a dog.

"Joy"

A dog provides joy
all for the price of a new chew toy.

A dog will love for next to nothing
as long as you feed him something.

A dog will put a song in your heart,
and clear the room when he farts.

A dog will bring comfort when you are sad
and drive you crazy, mean and mad.

A dog will take you for a walk
and provide you with an ear to talk.

Soon I'll have a dog to love in my home
but until then I'll enjoy my iPhone.

Poem a week

Inspired by Blablover and her Picture-a-day series, I decided to start a poem-a-week.

My major in college was Creative Writing with a focus on Poetry and short-stories. Except for blogging, I have stopped writing. After an email exchange with Jenn about her having to write a poem, I exclaimed (via email) "writing poetry is easy!". She challenged me to write a poem about Ramen, so I did. And this will be my first poem.

So here's the deal: every Sunday I'll post a poem. I do not promise good poetry, just one new poem writen by me a week. Like Jenn's challenge about Ramen, I will take requests. So with out further ado:

Patiently I wait for the two cups to bubble

CRACK! -break the nest of noodles,

awaiting their turn

CRACK! -break the egg,

prepared to be poached.

Time has come for the parts to become one

...into the water the drop

one by one

noodles

seasoning

egg

Two minutes time, my lunch is prepared.

Trojan Horse

As I explained in the previous post, I am no longer taking birth control pills. However, we aren't ready to be pregnant yet, so precautions must be taken. I bought condoms.

During the period of my life when I have been a sexually active person, I never purchased condoms. Ever. I would get them free from the health center or planned parenthood, or my partner would have them. Never ever did I have to buy them.

Thinking now that I am a wife, I should be able to buy condoms without embarrassment or incidents. Think again.

I knocked a bunch of boxes off the shelf.

I dropped the box off the grocery conveyerbelt and the man behind me picked the box up and handed them to me. Then I had to stand in front of him for an extra 10 minutes while the oldest woman in the world wrote a check.

The only thing that would have been worse is there would have been a price check.

holla!

Hey homies....just a quick post about a baby.

I held a baby last night. He was gorgeous, 2 months old, fat and happy. My woman-parts did somersaults and my heart melted.

And then the inevitable conversation started. When? When will we have them?

Someday not too long ago the "if we have kids" turned into "when we have kids". Around that same time I turned into that girl. You know the one who talks about getting off the pill (check), taking vitamins fortified with folic acid (check) and has the plan (check).

But how did we get form "if" till "when"?! Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I decided that I am ready or want to. Yet today, I had an email conversation about the book I read about breast feeding. Come on self! Who reads a book about breast-feeding IF you are unsure how you got to WHEN.

Me, that's who. I think I am just riding along. But how do you tell your husband, that you want to learn to swim first, and you want to have a bikini-fab body first and that you want to go to Disneyland and ride rollar coasters first and you want to run another half-marathon first, visit your 97 year old grandpa first, go to Europe first, go to graduate school, go back to Napa, write a book, learn Spanish, take cooking lessons.....first- before a baby.

But then I just think of that sweet little baby squeezing my finger tight last night. And I see D$ sitting holding the baby and my woman-parts do cartwheels this time and graduate school doesn't seem that important anymore.

Home on a Tuesday

I've been tagged by Linda from Silly Little Mischief!


Make a list of things you can see without getting up:my lunch bowl, the tv, Christmas cards I have yet to take down.

What were you like when you were five? Obnoxious

What are you wearing now? purple socks, my monkey pants, a blue hoodie. I took the afternoon off.

What story/book/novel have you read over and over again in your life? Lonesome Dove, Love Story, Harry Potter series

What’s the last thing you read/are currently reading?

Do you nap a lot? You betcha!

Who was the last person you hugged? D$

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction? Slumdog Millionaire. If you haven't seen it...run.

What was the last thing you ate today? left over Chinese noodles.

What was the last thing you said aloud? Hello? I answered the phone to find a telemarketer.

What websites do you always visit when you go online? Facebook, Google Reader, email

What was the last thing you bought? Lunch for me and Brenda yesterday.

What are you listening to right now? All My Children

What movie are (or were!) you most excited to show your kids? I've never thought about this, but I guess all the Disney movies I love so much, and of course Annie.

If you could have any super power, what would it be? I'd like the power to follow my passions.

What is your favorite weather, and why? Tucson winter.

What time do you usually get up? oh sheesh...not till 7:45 most mornings.

What is your most challenging goal right now? energy. hence the afternoon off.

Say something to the person who tagged you: Linda, I love your "Currently" series and the recipes you find!

If you could have a house–totally paid for, fully furnished–anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? the University area here in Tucson.

Favorite vacation spot? the beach.

What is your favorite children’s book? Morris the Moose has a cold. I have a copy if you'd like to borrow it!

Name one thing you just can’t resist no matter how bad it is for you: a few weeks ago I would have said a cigarette, but now I'll say: Mexican food!

If you could meet anyone famous - dead or alive - who would it be? The Obamas...but like I'd want to chill with them not just meet them for the sake of meeting them.

TAGGED: Blablover, Golightly, Jenn, K.D. (At least I tagged some people!)

THE RULES:Step 1: respond and rework—answer the questions on your own blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.

Step 2: tag—eight other un-tagged people will be tagged.

Sometimes....

Sometimes all you gotta do is get to the other side to find your common ground.

My MIL do not have the worst relationship, we just don't have the best. We love and care for each other, I just think she is flighty and sometimes careless and I am sure she thinks I am harsh and critical.

Today I received an email from her. D$'s cousin is getting married and let me just say the wedding planning is a fiasco. They sent out save the dates for the April wedding in Dallas that we are excited to attend. We have friends (waving at Golightly!) and other family in Dallas too, so we were pumped to go. Um, they don't have a reception site. The church double booked them. They have no dress. No invites. No nothing. Looks like they have to change the date.

So my MIL emailed to fill me in. I emailed back how excited I am that we are all done and aren't we glad it is over!?! She emailed back a lovely response of yes and no...that she would love to go back and relive the day all over, it was so much fun.

Ahem. Did you read that?! My MIL who hasn't made one comment about my wedding since my wedding said she had fun! And that she liked it!

So today, I see the glass half full. Sometimes you just have to get to the other side.

Check in...

Today is the day that 90% of new year resolutions fail. You give it the two week college try, then fail...fall of the wagon, slip up, forget...whatever.



So I thought to keep me (and maybe you?) on track, I'd check in and tell you how far I have come (literally) and how I've been doing. As a reminder, here is my original post.



Resolution 1, to run at least a mile everyday to qualify for the US Running Streak Association.

Check! I have run at least a mile everyday, sometimes by the skin of my teeth. But so far I have logged over 29 miles in 12 days ( I haven't run yet today, but have running group at 6pm). Sunday was hard, I had to run after a victory beer after the Steelers win. I was a little more burpy than normal and sluggish, but I did it! I didn't think I would make it past day 3 and 4, as my hip flexors were really painful and every part of me was sore. But I pushed through (do not follow this advice if you are new to running) and have made it! whew.

Resolution 2,to be less of a Debbie Downer

semi-check....this is a work in progress and not to measured as the running resolution. I have my good days and my bad days. I heard two great pieces of wisdom on Sunday: 1. Always leave the door open. This an prove to be hard if you are negative and leave a sour impression. 2. Make your mistake, learn from it and drop it. I am a dweller. I dwell on the small stuff. This turns my thoughts negative. Dwell no more, shall I. Bottom line: I am working on this everyday.

Resolution 3, to finish my knitting project.

No check. I haven't even touched the socks. But I have a trip planned to the knitting shop for a few supplies before I start.

And as for my quitting smoking?! HUGE CHECK. I haven't smoked in 13 days and counting. So far so good. I haven't really missed it or wanted to smoke. I know this will be life long struggle, but I feel pretty confident in how I have done so far.

So, if you have been doing well on your resolutions, make sure to follow through today!

One word Meme

I stole this from Linda- it seemed so fun!

Yourself: Fierce
Your partner: Kind
Your hair: Dyed
Your Mother: Slipping
Your Father: Whirlwind
Your Favorite Item: books
Your dream last night: Dark
Your Favorite Drink: Beer
Your Dream Car: efficient
Your Dream Home: owned
The Room You Are In: office
Your Ex: farmer
Your fear: instability
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? happy
Who you hung out with last night: D$
What You're Not: quiet
Muffins: no
One of Your Wish List Items: togetherness
Time: morning
The Last Thing You Did: run
What You Are Wearing: jeans
Your favorite weather: beautiful
Your Favorite Book: Saturday
Last thing you ate: oatmeal
Your Life: evolving
Your mood: anxious
Your Best Friends: kind
What are you thinking about right now: career
Your car: silver
What are you doing at the moment: procrastinating
Your summer: fast
Relationship status: Married
What is on your tv: news
What is the weather like: sunny
When is the last time you laughed: yesterday

I am sooo happy to be done.

Being a bride is competitive business. Either you are practical or designer, DIY or purchased, budget or expensive.

I did not fit in to any of these bride categories.

Yes I spent money on my wedding. Yes I spent a lot on food, photographer and location. But this made me happy. My food was amazing, my pictures make me smile and I wouldn't have had my wedding any where else. Does this make my wedding Expensive?

I made my own centerpieces, skipped wedding cake for cheaper and yummier cookies, didn't have favors and bought our own booze. Does this make my wedding Budget?

We hired a hot dog cart, a Mariachi band in addition to the DJ AND a bagpiper. I had our invitations custom designed. Does this make me un-practical?

My friend was my wedding coordinator, my uncle performed the ceremony and the bridesmaids picked out their own dresses. Does this make us DIY and eclectic?

We refused to do a cake-cutting, bouquet toss, garter toss or money dance. Does this make us anti-establishment?

We had a father-daughter dance, we read from Corinthians and didn't write our own vows. Does this make us cookie-cutter?


No.
No.
No.

This makes it MY wedding. (Okay OUR wedding.)

Seriously brides...take an effing breathe and stop trying to pigeon hole each other. If you believe that by only inviting 900 people you are being practical-then you ARE being practical. Do what you want, have the wedding you want and live the life you want.

Wedding photo

A friend of a friend was married a week before me in Washington. Like our buddies over at Our United State they had a ceremony for themselves..with no legal ramifications. Which makes it seem more romantic, right?! If you are going to go through the pain and discomfort of planning a wedding just for THE Commitment to your love....well then, that's love (cause I did it just for the marriage license!!).

Anywhoo...I saw this simple photo and it knocked me over.

I thought it was sweet and underestimated and beautiful.

stomps feet and pouts.

I am going to a bridal shower tomorrow. In fact I am helping to host it. But, I will not be the center of attention. hmpfhh.
Normally (i.e. before my own engagement) I would have just been honored to help and to be invited...now I am feeling a little, well jealous and not ready for MY time to be over. Which is silly. But still, I am a little miffed about having to go to someone else's shower. This is another first, another turning point...other people got married before me and well, people will get married after me.

It just feels a bit odd that I am all done. You wait your whole adult life for these rituals and then, in a flash they are over and it is no longer your turn.

My '08 top 10 in photos

Here are ten of my favorite moments represented in photos that I had in '08.

1. My first half marathon I ran in March!



2. Also in March, my first time on a horse!

3. In May, some time on the beach in Florida.

4. In June, riding around Mexico City on a bike!

5. In July- some time spent outdoors (in the Mountains) with good friends!


6. In September, my last bridal shower! (However, let this picture be a representation of the many celebrations I had!)

7. In October, getting to be with my oldest friend Amy over my wedding weekend!


8. 10/11/08, Groovin' with my mama..AT MY WEDDING.

9. Laughing with my soul mate, husband and rock on our Honeymoon!


10. Just last week, celebrating our first married Christmas together with our tree Harvey.

happy new year!

Happy and Healthy new year everyone! We had a great night and I just enjoyed my last cigarette. Seriously. I flushed the remaining pack,threw out my lighters and vowed that I am done. I wish me and everyone else luck on their resolutions to improve themselves!